


Truth or Dare

by SantaMalgastadora



Category: The Arcana (Visual Novel)
Genre: A must-write, Alcohol, Also away, And the God said: "There shall be only one bed.", Apprentice is kind of a bitch, Asra is a bitch too, Attempt at Humor, Consult your dentist before reading, Dirty Talk, Everybody's mean!, F/M, Fire, Fluff, Fuck canonical timeline, Games, Hair Braiding, Hope, How did it come to this?, I'll change it to 'Humor' if you tell me it really is funny, Inappropriate confessions, Julian is annoying, Kinda, Kissing, Light Angst, Light Dom/sub, Masturbation, Memory Loss, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Misunderstandings, Oral Sex, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Overstimulation, Possessive Behavior, Recreational Drug Use, Running, Sensibility was never my intention, Tags Are Fun, The bestest friend Asra, This is going exactly where you think, Vaginal Sex, assholes to lovers, lovers to idiots, mentioned anal sex, you know
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-26
Updated: 2020-02-24
Packaged: 2021-01-03 15:28:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 54,049
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21181733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SantaMalgastadora/pseuds/SantaMalgastadora
Summary: Apprentice and Julian are forced to work together to find the goat-ghost Lucio, who's been vexing the neighbourhood, and they don't get along very well. Eventually, they have to find a place to stay for the night. You know what happens next.





	1. The Polyglot

The morning was exceptionally chilly and humid. I felt loose strands of my hair get wet and stick to my temples. I brushed them behind my ice-cold ears, already feeling very uncomfortable and annoyed. I sniffled and rubbed my nose, leaving a wet trace on my new calfskin gloves like a child. But I didn't have a tissue. I shivered and pulled the coat I also got from Nadia tighter around me. It was woollen, thick and soft, and the horse underneath me was hot, but _still_.

“Can we go already?” I asked loudly, not hiding my emotions.

Julian stopped chatting merrily with the two guards at the gate and graced me with attention. “Absolutely, princess.”

I cursed under my breath. I swear, if he calls me ‘princess’ one more time, I kick him off of his horse.

It wasn’t my idea! Since a few days, reports about a demonical goat were coming to the palace from further and further places from Vesuvia. It was obvious it was Lucio, and we – Asra, Nadia and I – decided that we had to go after him. I volunteered, partly because I knew I would be a good bait since he teased me on my very first night in the palace. And I wasn’t afraid of him. But Asra hated my idea and wanted to come with me of course. Nadia however insisted on keeping him onsite and using his skills to search for clues on what Lucio might be up to. Therefore, the only competent companion for me to look for that fucking goat-ghost (according to Nadia and _only_ to her), was the recently pardoned and resurrected doctor, the clown, the tragedy, the pain in the ass, the infamous Julian Devorak.

When Portia heard about this ingenious idea, she laughed so hard she snorted into her tea. And she wished me good luck. Haha.

And now, it’d been 10 minutes since I saw him today and I already regretted they hanged him instead of decapitating him. He would be quieter now.

Eventually, he said goodbye to the guards, who looked quite relieved to have him off their hair, the lucky bastards. Julian climbed on his horse with a flourish and a swish of his coat. He looked proudly at me but I frowned unimpressed and started my mare.

What’s the art of mounting a horse if you are taller than it???

The doctor followed me shortly. I mean, of course he did, but I was still disappointed.

“Not an early bird, are you?” he _spoke_ to me.

I sighed. “No.”

“A night owl perhaps?”

“I’m not a bird.” Why was I even answering him?

He huffed. “Of course not. You’re a princess.”

“Oh, stop it already!” I snapped at him.

“Why? Am I too common for you, my lady?” He gave me a wicked smile. What a freak.

“I don’t- Damn, is there any way to shut you up?”

He seemed to consider it, then quirked his brow. “_Yes_. Even two.”

“Oh really? What a choice. Do tell,” I asked before I bit my tongue.

Julian was already smirking. “Of course I won’t! I like to chat during a journey. Besides, I’d rather show you the two things than talk about them.” He blinked at me.

No, wait. Did he _wink_? Yes, he winked. Oh my- You’re wearing an eyepatch, you twit!

"On the other hand, though," he continued to my dismay. His voice was low now, flirtatious, the nerve of his! "I've never done these on a horse, so it might be interesting." 

I rolled my eyes so hard I gave myself a headache. I should had guessed right away what ways he was talking about, the pervert. "Have some respect for the poor horse," I mumbled, and to my horror, he burst out laughing. 

"Good heavens! You do have a sense of humour!" he exclaimed, joyful like a puppy on his first walk. I couldn't decide if he’d got more alcohol or caffeine in his system at the moment. "Maybe this journey won't be as boring as I thought it would," he lowered his voice again and leaned towards me. 

_Way _too close.

I grimaced, utterly unamused, and pushed him away from me. He lost balance and, with a ridiculous 'wohoho' sound, leaned too much to the other side. But he managed to stay in the saddle.

"I am not going to put you back on the horse if you fall," I warned him. "And you seem to barely stay on top of it even without my help."

He laughed. "Oh sweetie, you think I'm _drunk_? Oh no, no. You haven’t seen me drunk. This, now, I'm _hungover_ and that's a huge difference. I'm not going to fall off anything. I'm absolutely aware and focused."

Caffeine, then…

And I regretted I pushed him away. Now he was too far for me to slap him for calling me 'sweetie'.

"Nevermind, doctor," I uttered through gritted teeth. "The faster we find Lucio, the sooner we'll return and be free from each other's company."

“Please, Julian is enough,” he asked me for the tenth time since yesterday meeting, or rather announcement.

I ignored it as I ignored each one before and as I was going to ignore a hundred after. "Just keep up."

"Absolutely. It would be such a shame to lose such a pretty view like you, princess." 

My blood boiled and I got hot with outrage, and that was the only advantage of having this lunatic around. "I swear, if you call me this one more time…" 

"You'll what? Oh come on. I'll stop calling you 'princess' when you stop calling me 'doctor Devorak', how about that?" He gave me a sly smirk, and I lost my patience.

I commanded my horse into a trot not to have to look at that absurd smile of his. I had some peace for almost a minute when suddenly he galloped right past me, woohooing like a madman.

I groaned. How about I go back and tell everyone I lost him in the forest?

***

An eternity later, we reached the first city we got the report from. It resembled Vesuvia – big, crowded and rowdy. It was good, though, because no one paid attention to us. Not to me at least. The god forsaken doctor, however, looked like an overgrown harbinger of death on drugs and I imagined it was difficult not to stare at him when he chatted joyfully, twisted his neck in every direction and pointed fingers like a child on a field trip. But at least it should be easy to find a nice, clean inn with rooms and meals for a reasonable price. _Separate_ rooms. I just couldn't wait to have a few hours of loneliness and silence. Maybe I would be even able to contact Asra and blow off some steam.

"It's getting dark already. We need to find somewhere to rest," I said. My body was exhausted, too. My ass hurt, my thighs were killing me and my hands itched to smother Julian. One more stupid, pseudo-funny or smartass text from him, and I would. My patience was long gone.

"I like this place," he said suddenly. 

I looked where he did and my mouth fell open. It was an enormous, white building with sculptured façade, marble columns and its name written with gilded letters over a pair of tall, shiny, glass door. "No, doctor, we can't possibly afford _that_."

"Sure we can." He shrugged, not even looking at me. He just stared wide-eyed at the hotel. "The Countess provided us with much more gold than we really need."

"For emergencies! And this is certainly not the case. And we can't spend everything on a night in a hotel!"

"Not everything, just… most of it."

"No, doctor Devorak, it's out of the..." I said sternly but he was already heading towards the hotel. "Doctor, no!" 

"[name], _yes_," he mocked me with a silly smile but didn’t stop or even slow down.

I followed him because what could I do? Someone had to stop him. Unfortunately, before I caught up, he jumped off of his horse, handed the reins to a boy in an elegant uniform and took the stairs in just two long steps, the long-legged freak show.

"It'll take just a minute," I mumbled to the boy, but he took my reins with a polite, confused smile and left with our horses. "Alright, nevermind." 

I ran up the stairs but it was too late. Julian was already speaking to the receptionist in a fluent, southern language – I could hear it well in the almost empty, marble hall. I sighed and slumped under the weight of my bag. I didn't speak languages and wouldn’t be able to explain this absurd to the receptionist. Anyway, I went to stand at the desk and listened to the man answer Julian. I didn't understand a word of course, so I looked up at Julian. To my surprise, he seemed as disoriented as I was.

I smiled maliciously. "What is it, doctor? I thought you were a polyglot. Well? What did he say?"

He rubbed his chin pensively. "I, um… I'm not sure. It must be a local dialect. I didn't really understand." He repeated his question but slower.

The man asked a question back, speaking quickly. Julian frowned, utterly confused. 

I sighed, not without satisfaction. "Alright, that's enough. Stop fooling around and let's find an inn."

"No, wait. Um…" He spoke in a soft, melodic language that must had been Nevivonian, but the receptionist only smiled apologetically and shrugged. Julian tried again – a nasal, hoarse one this time. But the man shook his head, and I started to lose my patience all over again.

"Doctor…" I warned him but he ignored me, apparently determined to try each language he spoke. I watched him struggle, less and less amused. I sighed loudly but he ignored that, too. I was about to stop this farce but then, the receptionist beamed.

"Ahh!" he exclaimed and said something quickly in the same tongue, showing one finger.

Julian smiled and nodded. He also showed one finger, repeating the last few words of the man's question. The man asked another one, giving me a friendly smile and an elegant nod, but Julian shook his head and showed two fingers. The man nodded in agreement and checked his book. He tutted, then spoke with Julian for a moment. They kept showing two fingers. 

"Are you done? Can we go already?" I asked, masking panic with annoyance. He was about to get us rooms here!

He waved his hand at me, the nerve of his! He spoke to me in this language, then groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I, um… Eh, just… Wait, alright? Please. Just a minute," he stammered. He closed his eyes in concentration to switch to the other language.

After a minute, they seemed to have reached an understanding, and it was too late to intervene. The receptionist clapped, apparently pleased, annotated something in the book and retrieved a key from an adorned cupboard hanging on the wall behind his back. He gave it to Julian with a flourish, then called out, and another boy in the uniform rushed to take our bags.

I opened my mouth but I was lost for words. I gave Julian a look, demanding an explanation, but in that very moment, he got a terrible coughing fit. How convenient. I glanced at the man but he only smiled at me and bowed again. Just perfect. 

"Doctor?" I followed Julian and the boy with our luggage down the hall. "Doctor Devorak, wait! Was that all? If we really have to stay in this ridiculous place, then I’d like to know at least where is _my_ key."

Julian made a ineligible sound.

"Excuse me?" I barely kept my voice down. My hands curled into fists. He was driving me mad.

He cleared his throat. "Well, you see… I asked for two rooms," he said as if it explained everything. He didn't add anything more. 

"_And_?"

"Yeah, well. There aren't two rooms left," he announced.

I waited for him to go on, struggling to be patient. But by the time we reached the stairs, I was sure he wasn't going to elaborate. "Yes? And? Are there three, then? Four? None? What is this supposed to mean?"

"There is, um…" He cleared his throat. The sound was already driving me crazy.

"_What_?"

"...only one room."

One room.

_One._

My mind went blank. I didn't utter a single word during the whole walk up the stairs and down the corridor. Julian peeked at me but beside that, he just kept a safe distance from me – this was the only smart thing he did today. Or in his entire life probably.

Only when we reached the room – _our _room, I could think again. And I panicked. I was supposed to share a room with this… this… _clown_?? Spend the night with this… Oh gods! Oh good gods in heavens, I thought this journey was a disaster so far but _now_… It was a nightmare! I didn't deserve it, I swear I didn't! I just wanted a few hours of a break from this gigantic, irresponsible, clumsy, so not funny pain in the ass, and instead I had to stay in the same room with him? It wasn't fair! 

Julian cleared his throat, earning my attention and a glare. "I know this is awkward and that I persisted on staying here but hey!" He gave me a completely inappropriate smile. "At least I got us a room with two beds."

"Should I congratulate you?" I uttered through gritted teeth. 

"Oh come on! Look how beautiful this place is! It’s so much better than a cheap inn. You'll love it, you'll see. Let me spoil you a little." 

I huffed. "I'm not yours to spoil."

"But still, we can have some fun. It can be like a sleepover. We'll sit in our pyjamas, you'll tell me about your crush and I'll braid your hair."

"Don't you _dare_ touch my hair!" I hissed at him, utterly scandalised.

"Oh, brighten up! It’s not that… that bad..." The boy led us inside, put our bags on an armchair and quietly left us in this ridiculously big room with gilded tapestry, tall windows, coffered ceiling, crystal chandelier, plush carpets and _ONE_, enormous, luxurious, canopy bed.

I stared at Julian, wishing looks could kill. 

His eye went wide and he _blushed_, this joke of a person. Then, he frowned and stared at the floor, rubbing his chin, apparently thinking. Finally, he face-palmed. "Oh god. Of course." 

"_What_?"

He offered me a sheepish smile. "Haha, you see, a funny story here. See, I guess I mixed up 'two' with 'double' and so, I might have asked very precisely for a _double_ bed, instead of _two_. Could you believe it? Haha. Hah…"

I was hot with anger. "You go and fix it."

"Right away," he mumbled and rushed out.

I let myself growl out loud. What a nightmare! Why was I even here? Why with _him_?! Oh god, if he doesn't get us two rooms or at least two beds, I'll strangle him in his sleep, I swear I will!

I took a deep breath and rubbed my temples to soothe my nerves. While he was gone, I could at least explore. After all, I have never been in such a posh hotel. I looked around, calmly this time, and I had to admit the room was beautiful. With the tips of my fingers, I traced the delicate golden pattern on the velvety, cream walls. I headed towards the bed and when I stepped on the carpet, I literally moaned – it was so, so _soft_. I ran the loose piece of the silken canopy between my fingers. It was hard to believe how thin it was… I touched the sheets and, _oh dear gods_, it was so cool and smooth I could hardly resist the urge to just tuck myself in right away and sleep for a week. But I let myself at least hop on the mattress and lie on my back. I groaned deeply when the expensive mattress hugged my sore body. From there, I could see the warm, amber light of the sunset falling through the windows flicker in the intricate elements of the chandelier and disperse into all of the eight colours. I could watch it for hours. 

Then, Julian stood at the door and cleared his throat. That couldn't be good. I sat up reluctantly and gave him a discontent look.

"Well?" I asked when he refused to speak first. 

"Well? Well. Um…" He sighed and slumped. Now, he looked as tired as I was, and I even felt pity for him. It scared me. "There are no other available rooms and there is no way they could put another bed in here. I'm sorry, it's all my fault. You're right – we don’t need this and it's way too expensive. Let's go and find another place. You must be exhausted and want to sleep already. Let me carry your bag."

I watched him bend and take our luggage. I did feel a spark of ill satisfaction at his admitting to a mistake, but I also thought about the infinite softness of the bed I was still sitting on.

"You know…" I trailed off shily but it was enough to draw his full attention. His eye went wide with hope. He looked so sad and tired and cute it was impossible to say 'no' to him. Or at least some might say so. "It's late and… the, the horses need to rest. Let's let them rest already and we, um… I guess Nadia won't mind this choice. She would definitely want us to pick something of this quality."

Julian beamed, put the bags down, sprinted to the bed, scaring the shit out of me, and jumped on it, making me bounce. "Oh _god_!" he moaned in the most inappropriate way. "Oh my god, it's _so _soft! I'm not getting up, not ever. It's so good. Oh god."

This reminded me about one more thing. "No way. We will not share a bed."

Julian remembered about it, too, and didn’t look so relaxed anymore. He sighed sadly as if already saying goodbye to the bed. "But… No, I… I bet we can figure it out." 

I got up and picked up my bag. "I don't know and I don't care. I know I'll sleep in the bed. _You_ figure it out if you want to. I'll have a bath."

I strolled across the room, not looking at him, and shut the bathroom door behind me. I took off my cold, sweaty clothes, gathered my hair in a bun with a wooden, painted comb Asra made for me and immersed slowly in the already prepared, aromatic bath charmed hot. I hummed out loud, it was so nice, just like anything else here. I let myself relax. Now, I was resting and not worrying about anything. Everything was fine now.

Because there was no way in hell I would share a bed with him.


	2. The Dare

Sometime later, I went out from the bathroom, wrapped in a wonderful, fluffy bathrobe, feeling clean and refreshed, and even merciful. I found Julian still on the bed, propped comfortably against the pillows, his legs stretched out. His ridiculous thigh-high boots and immortal dark, leather jacket were gone, and the billowy shirt open as always (Did it _ever_ have buttons?), showing his… nicely muscled chest. Anyway, he was drinking wine straight from the bottle. 

"Where did you get it from?" I asked. I wanted one, too.

He smiled smugly. "I ordered it. Want some?" He offered me the bottle. 

I did. I approached him and reached out but he withdrew it. He moved to the side and patted the place next to him. I gave him a sour look.

He huffed and rolled his eyes. "Come on, don’t be like this. Sit with me. I can be fun, I promise.” He smirked and arched an eyebrow. I hated this look. “Can you?" 

I did a quick calculation in my mind. Eventually, I climbed on the bed and slumped onto the pillows next to him. _Oh gods, so soft…_ I took the bottle from Julian. "I guess I'll take the fun better with some help," I sighed and took a generous swig of the wine. It was good. I took another swallow. 

"That's the spirit!" he praised me. "We can become good friends, I can feel it, you'll see."

"Don't scare me," I mumbled, passing the wine back to him.

He laughed, and it almost made me smile, too. _Almost. _"You're quite a charmer, aren't you?" 

This time, I didn’t stop myself and snorted at the irony and double meaning, and Julian looked so delighted that I stopped immediately, only amusing him more.

"So," I said to change the subject. "What have you figured out in terms of the bed?"

"Yes, well, I thought we could play for it."

I frowned. I already disliked the idea. “Play? What do you mean?”

“We could play a game. The winner takes the bed and the looser, I don’t know, sleeps on the floor. Though with a carpet like this it would hardly be a painful loss.”

“And what game do you have in mind?” I asked, already reluctant.

He gave me a wicked smile. “Poker.”

I shrugged. “I don’t know the rules.”

“I’ll teach you.”

“Doctor, I’ve never played!” I huffed. “What chances do I have against you?”

“Oh yeah, right.” He drunk some wine, thinking. He passed the bottle to me. “Oh! Hide and seek!”

I snorted. “Are you five? And where would we hide? This room is not _that _big.”

“Alright. Then what are your suggestions, princess?”

I thought for a moment. “We could ask the Arcana for advice.”

“What? No! They like you, their biased.”

A laughter escaped my lips, and I earned a delighted smile from Julian. I drank the wine to mask mine. “What are you talking about? It’s not… it doesn’t work that way.”

“If you say so… What-“

“It doesn’t!”

“What shall we play then?”

We were discussing for a long time but couldn’t reach any agreement. Sharing ideas quickly turned into stories about how he played with Portia when they were kids or the games they played on ships, and me (gods, what got into me…) teaching him small card tricks Asra taught me. To my surprise, I enjoyed all of it and had fun. But I blamed it on the wine.

“Oh it’s almost empty…” Julian sighed suddenly, sitting on the floor, where he was practicing one of the tricks I showed him. “Well, shame. The last sip for the lady.” He handed the bottle to me.

“Why, thank you.” I sat up and took it from him. My robe slid from my shoulder but I ignored it and finished the wine.

“Yeah, well…” he sighed again. When I looked back at him, he was staring absentmindedly at my bared shoulder. “Oh, I know. How about a little truth or dare?” he suggested with a quirk of an eyebrow.

I snorted. “Truth or dare? Aren’t we a bit too old for it?”

“What is it, princess? Chickening out, are we?”

My mouth fell open with amused outrage. “Are you calling me a chicken? I can’t believe it!”

“Come on, it’ll be fun!” He took the bottle from my hands, put the cork back in, put it on the floor in front of him, on top of the cards and spun it. “What is there to be scared of? What may I possibly dare you to do, huh?” he encouraged me with an innocent voice but not so innocent look in his eye.

This awoke something new in me. I knew that it was a bad idea, that it was _Julian_ and I shouldn’t trust him, especially not in this kind of game. But I was curious. And I wanted to win the bed. So, with my heart pounding and my clit pulsing strangely, because of the wine probably, I slid from the bed on the floor and sat down next to him.

Julian smiled beautifully. “Very well. The winner takes the bed, right?"

"Seems fair."

"Ladies first, then, my dear.”

“Alright. Truth or dare, doctor?”

He rolled his eyes at the ‘doctor’ but didn’t comment on it. “Dare,” he said, looking me boldly in the eye.

I held his gaze. “Get us another bottle of wine,” I blurted out. This was the very first thing that popped up in my mind.

Julian threw his head back and laughed. “I like your ideas so far.” He got up and started to dress up.

I propped my elbows on the bed and watched him shamelessly.

“Any other wishes, my lady?” he asked, wrapping the sash around his waist, watching me back.

I hummed and bit my lip. “Fruit,” I decided. “And ice-cream.”

He snickered. “Fruit and ice-cream it is.” He shrugged his jacket on and sat on the bad to put his boots on. “I had no idea you were so spoiled, princess.”

“You started it,” I pointed out.

“That’s right,” he admitted. He straightened up, running his fingers through his hair. “I created a monster and now, the monster demands sweets.”

“Screw you!” I laughed.

“Ooh, and she’s aggressive when hungry. I’d better move quick.”

"Yes, you'd better," I rushed him with a wave of a hand.

When he was gone, I put my head back on the bed and stared at the ceiling. I wondered… Was it really the same annoying doctor with whom I've been having so much fun right now? Incredible… 

Soon, Julian was back, and a minute after him, came a boy with our order. Julian took the tray from him and put it on the bed. There was a beautiful, tall, dark bottle of wine, two crystal glasses, a bowl overflowing with grapes, strawberries, peaches and pears, and another, smaller one with snow-white ice-cream.

Julian undressed like before and sat back next to me, grabbing the bottle to open it. "Would you look at this! Are you satisfied, my dear? Is my dare accepted?" 

“Yes, it is.” I bit into a strawberry with a delighted purr.

“Truth or dare, then, honey?” he asked in a low voice, passing me a glass of wine.

I took it from him and licked the juice off of my fingers. I noticed with curiosity that Julian stared at me while I did that. “Truth,” I decided, wrapping both hands around the glass.

His eyebrows shot up. "Mmm, brave. Alright, let’s see…" He swirled the ruby-red wine against the crystal walls. “Do you like me?”

I choked on the wine. I laughed nervously. “Seriously?”

He shrugged helplessly, then smiled like a jerk. “Those are the rules. You tell me the truth or give up the bed. You choose.”

I put the rest of the strawberry away. I could bet my face was as red as it. "Alright," I sighed, embarrassed like never before. I sipped on my wine and thought on the question. Did I like him? Well, if he asked me a few hours ago, it would've been obvious. But now… Sure, the fact that we were having fun didn't erase the one that he could be perfectly annoying and that sometimes, I wanted to sew his mouth shut. On the other hand, though… I couldn't deny the truth within me. I mean I wanted to, I really did, but there it was. "Yes," I admitted reluctantly.

Julian beamed but still leaned towards me, putting his hand at his ear. "Sorry, the wine is humming so loudly in my ears. Could you repeat that?"

"_Yes_," I laughed and pushed him lightly away. It was strange to touch him. It made me grow uncomfortably hot inside.

He swayed to the side but grabbed my hand and pulled it to his lips and kissed my knuckles. I felt my face burn. I snatched my hand away. That didn't spoil his mood. "I like you, too, you know." 

"Wow. Why so honest so suddenly?" I asked, not really wanting to know the answer. I moved an inch away from him.

"Because I feel like I'd been dead for the last three years. And I've been hanged and I really died, and I came back, and now, I'm just not scared anymore." He looked me straight in the eye, even though I was trying to look anywhere but at him. “I like you, [name]. I feel good with you around. Even when you’re such a bitch,” he confessed and drank his wine.

My mouth fell open, and I couldn’t help but laugh at his boldness. “Me – a bitch? Oh my- Well, alright. I’ve been mean, that’s true.”

“Don’t get me wrong. You’re really cute when feisty. That’s what I like about you.”

“Oh, alright.” I cleared my throat. I was getting uncomfortable. Plus, it turned out that when I was being a bitch to him, it was cute. Such a waste of my energy… “So. My turn. Truth or dare?”

“Dare,” he announced confidently.

“Be quiet,” I said, driven by pure malice. I guess I wanted to get even for his calling me ‘cute when feisty’. What kind of absurd was that?

It was Julian’s turn to open his mouth wide in shock. “Are you serious?”

“It’s a dare. Do you take it?”

Julian pursed his lips and looked me deadpan in the face. Then, he sipped on his wine and grabbed an apple. He bit into it with a loud crunch.

“Alright. I’ll take that as a yes.”

I smiled to myself and had another strawberry. I enjoyed the silence. I enjoyed the blessed lack of dumb jokes, inappropriate remarks and probably almost entirely fake stories for as long as I wished. It was nice. For a while. Embarrassingly soon, I missed his voice and good mood. It got too quiet. It got boring.

“Okay, I approve.”

“You sneaky, little witch,” Julian smirked. “For a second I thought you were going to keep me like this till the end of the hunt.”

“Damn, I didn’t think about it,” I faked disappointment.

“Oh you minx,” he laughed at me. “Come on, truth or dare?”

“Truth,” I picked.

“Alright. Why do you keep calling me ‘doctor Devorak’?”

A wave of heat rushed to my face. I couldn’t lie. “Because… Because I want to keep you at a distance.”

He frowned and smiled. “Why?”

“Your turn is over.”

“No, seriously. Why, [name]?”

I looked away. I was dizzy with the wine and emotions. “Because… you are annoying.”

Julian snorted. “But you said you like me, my dear. So how is it?”

I bet I was blushing like crazy. “I didn’t lie about liking you. But it doesn’t mean I don’t find you annoying.”

He burst out laughing, and I couldn’t stop a giggle, too. “The truth is brutal. From now, I’m going to be scared to ask you about anything.”

“Don’t ask a question if you don’t want to know the answer,” I smirked. “Truth or dare?”

“Dare,” he persisted with a small, mischievous smile.

I laughed, letting out some tension. “Come on! Why ‘dare’ all the time? It’s getting monotonous, Julian,” I whined half-heartedly, and dared to say his name. He heard me say it for the first time and it made him smile so sweetly.

“Oh, alright, as you wish,” he agreed, blushing. Me, I congratulated myself in my mind. “But” He raised a finger. “if I am to choose ‘truth’ more often, I want you to choose ‘dare’ more often, too.”

I masked my nervousness with a laugh again. Damn, he outsmarted me. “It is fair,” I sighed, resigned. “Agreed.”

He offered me his hand and I shook it. The leather was pleasantly cool on my heated skin, I noticed. “We have a deal. I say ‘truth’, then.”

I already had a question in mind. “Why did you keep choosing ‘dare’?”

Julian snorted but paled. He cleared his throat. “What do you mean ‘why’? Just, um… Because…”

“Really, why? What are you afraid I might ask you about? What are you afraid of, Julian?”

He smiled a little tensely. “Ah-ah! One question at the time.”

“Alright. Why did you keep choosing ‘dare’?”

He thought for a moment. “I… Because I didn’t want to tell you the truth,” he said slowly, not looking at me.

It was a strange thing to say and it stung a little. “Why?”

He shook his head. “One question at the time, darling.”

“Right. Okay...” I said brightly, though I felt strangely hurt and disappointed. “Your turn, then.”

He leaned towards me with a wicked smile on his surprisingly tempting lips. "Truth or perhaps dare again, my dear?"

I swallowed, so my voice wouldn’t break. "Dare," I said. My cheeks were burning. What he'll made me do?

Julian smiled wider. "You're all mine now," he whispered, making my pulse race. With a pensive hum, Julian swept his eye all over me, then looked over his shoulder at the bed.

I held my breath. I narrowed my eyes at him. How stupid I was for trusting him and agreeing to play this stupid game with him.

He reached for the bowl of ice-cream. "Try it. You haven’t tried it yet. I bet it's good."

I looked suspiciously at him as he passed me the bowl and a spoon. "I don't understand." 

"Just try it."

I couldn't help but smile. "Seriously? That’s it?" 

"Yeah, that's it.”

I scooped some of the smooth ice-cream and put it in my mouth. I moaned. “It’s delicious.”

“May I have some?”

My heart jumped. I think I knew what exactly he wanted. I decided to accept the challenge. I scooped some more and offered it to him. Keeping my gaze, he leaned and took it in his mouth. He closed his eyes and pulled away slowly.

I almost shivered as my very core clenched on the view. This game was getting dangerous.

“Mmm, yum,” Julian hummed, licking his lips. “And now, my dare.”

I gaped at him. “No, I did your dare. Now it’s my turn.”

He shook his head with a small smile. “No, no, no, my sweet. I haven’t said ‘I dare you’ yet, have I?”

“But-“ I recalled the last few moments. I grimaced. He was right. “You tricky bastard,” I murmured. “Alright. Nevermind. Dare me.”

“Here you go: don’t ask me why I am afraid to choose truth.”

I huffed. Unbelievable. “Really? This is really your dare?”

“Yes. Are you determined enough to take it?”

Oh, this tricky, tricky bastard. I lifted my head up proudly. “Of course.”

“Perfect. Your turn, my dear.”

“Truth or dare, Julian?”

“Let it be truth.”

I thought fast. “What are you afraid of?”

His smile fell. “[name], please, no. It’s not fair.”

I had no mercy. “I said: What are you afraid of? It’s a different question.”

“Slightly.”

“Still.”

He sighed. “You’re a cruel one.” He rubbed his blushing cheek. “Alright. I… I’m afraid that… if I tell you all the truth you’d want to know about me, you might… stop liking me.”

My heart swell with a strange feeling. I guess it was… maybe compassion. Maybe disappointment again. It surprised me. Why did I care so much? “I see. Your turn,” I said shortly, and I heard Julian breath out with relief.

“Truth or dare?” he asked quietly.

“Dare,” I said before I bit my tongue. I didn’t know why I kept doing this only because he asked me to.

He looked at me and smiled, a spark in his eye. My heart was pounding. “Sit closer to me.”

Oh no. “Excuse me?”

“Come closer. All the way from there you can’t possibly see if I’m lying or not.”

I burst out with a short laugh. He was insolent. “Look at you, so thoughtful! Why, thank you but you needn’t worry, I can tell if you lie alright.”

“Oh, I don’t doubt that, not that I’d dare lie to you. But still, come here. It’s a dare.”

I stared at him. “Why?”

He just smiled like a jerk again. “Save the question for later. I dare you to come closer. But don’t worry – it’s completely alright if you give up now. I’ll understand. And” He gave me a hungry look. “you’ll still be very much welcome in the bed.”

I gasped. It was outrageous. “It’s just your revenge for making you say what you’re afraid of!”

“Maybe,” he said with a grin. “So?”

I sighed and shook my head. But I moved towards him.

“Oh come on! Closer. I don’t bite,” he laughed.

I was so nervous that I couldn’t stop a laugh myself. I moved closer, an inch between our shoulders now. I could feel warmth radiating from him. “Enough?”

His gaze was heavy on me. “For now.”

I looked up at him and was struck by the intensity of it. Julian was drinking me up with his eye, leaning towards me. “Truth or dare?” I said quickly, slightly breathlessly.

He narrowed his eyes like a cut and purred: “Dare.”

Perfect. “Take off your eyepatch.”

His eye went wide, and he sat up. "I don't- No, you can't be serious." 

"But I am."

"I really would rather keep it on."

"I can't get you to tell me any truth. So, I think it's only fair if you _show_ me a piece of it,” I explained, relishing my personal revenge. “It’s your decision – this or the sofa."

He hesitated. He really didn't want to do it but I'd made up my mind. I wanted to see it.

Finally, with a heavy, accusatory sigh, he pulled the patch off of his head. I thought he'd just move it away for a second but I understood – it was way more dramatic. He kept staring down, so I, urged by a strange impulse, put my hand on his cheek, gently, with barely my fingertips, and turned his face toward me. His breath hitched when I touched him, but he didn’t move away. After a moment of hesitation, he looked up at me, with such sorrow and fear that it scared me more than his secret – a reminiscence of the plague, a bloody red sclera. I knew he wasn’t sick, but if he still was afraid that it may scare me away, then he was very wrong about me. And about himself.

Feeling bold, feeling compassionate, I kneeled, brushing his thigh with mine, and cupped his cheek. His fear was even clearer to me now, just like the lovely blush on his cheeks and neck. I felt him swallow hard, and his incredible eyes fell to my lips. I leaned in and kissed him softly under the red eye, then just sat back in my place.

Julian blinked, confused, then smiled in a silly way. “What was that for?”

“For taking the dare.”

“Wow,” he stroked his cheek pensively. “Why didn’t I get such a reward after each dare?”

I didn’t answer, I just shook my head with a smile. “You don’t have to wear the eyepatch when you’re with me if you don’t want to. I don’t mind,” I said instead. Julian frowned, a mixture of emotions on his face. I took a large swig of wine. I couldn’t stop looking at him now. And I was afraid. With eyes like this… He could make me do anything. Anyway, I looked back at him, holding his curious gaze. “Your turn, doctor.”

He sighed with a small smile. “Truth or dare, princess?”

“Dare.”

He rose an eyebrow. His mismatched eyes wandered from where I put my glass on the floor, up my legs, up my body loosely wrapped in nothing more than the bathrobe, up to my face. He quirked his head. “Let down your hair.”

I watched him, searching for a sign that he was joking. But his voice – suddenly slightly breathless, his flushed cheeks and ears, the look in his eyes... Were they always so dark? He wasn't joking. Feeling uncomfortably hot, as if he told me to do something vulgar, I reached up, found the edge of my comb in my hair. I pulled it out. I shook my head and my hair unfolded and fell on my back. I combed it with my fingers, a nervous gesture, and put them over my shoulders and burning ears.

Julian watched me closely this whole time. He nodded when I finally looked at him. “Your turn.”

“Truth or dare?” I asked, doing my best to control my voice. Suddenly, my breath trembled, and I was extremely aware of how close Julian was sitting next to me.

“Dare.”

I wondered… There was one more thing he was hiding. “Take off your gloves.” I’ve never seen him without them.

His eyebrows shot up. He snickered and bit his lip. “This game’s just getting better and better,” he murmured, pulling the gloves off.

His hands were beautiful. They were large and pale, with long, slender fingers of a musician. They were so much different from what I imagined. Suddenly, I had a string of strange images involving them run through my mind.

And then, I saw the mark. “It’s so not fair,” I heard myself say.

Julian shrugged, watching it. “I don’t mind anymore. It always caused much more fear in me, then in people who saw it. Now, it doesn’t matter.”

“Good,” I said. “Your turn, I guess.”

“With pleasure. Truth or dare, sweet [name]?”

“Dare,” I chose right away. I wasn’t really thinking anymore.

Julian smiled, then watched me for a while, not saying anything. He just looked at me.

“Well?” I rushed him softly. I felt so nervous. It was so hot in there.

His eyes met mine. He turned towards me. “Let me kiss your neck.”

My heart hammered in my chest. I could hear blood hum in my ears. “Wha-! No! No, you can’t do that.”

Julian had no mercy. His smile was too pretty. “Sure I can. I dare you – let me kiss your neck.”

I swallowed hard under his gaze. He was undressing me with it. After a moment, he moved towards me, and I tensed and clenched my fists, swearing to myself I won’t lose. His knee pressed under my thigh, and I held my breath. Touching wasn’t part of the dare but I tried to ignore it. And I couldn't focus on it for long. With a light brush of his fingers against my neck, he pushed my hair off of my shoulder, and I already couldn’t suppress a shiver. He observed my face for a second before he leaned in and pressed his lips to the heated skin under my jaw, making me dizzy. He traced them down to my collarbone, giving me goosebumps. He put a hand on my knee and started to place warm, wet kisses up my neck. He took his time, tasting my skin. Each kiss was a pure delight, and soon, I was breathing hard, my eyes closed, my mouth open. Then, he grazed his teeth over my ear, and I didn't manage to muffle a gasp. He gave me a teasing lick behind it and a light bite on my pulse point, making me shiver. When he moved away from me, my breath was shaking and my groin aching persistently.

Julian stared at my mouth. His hand slid a few inches up my thigh. “Your turn,” he breathed hoarsely.

I licked my lips. I gathered my thoughts with effort. “Truth or dare?“

He didn't react immediately. "Hmm?" He gave me a questioning look.

My pulse jumped, making my clit throb. His pupils were blown wide, the lovely dove grey colour almost gone. The red eye gave him a demonical look. I admitted reluctantly to myself that I could hardly resist it.

"Truth or dare," I breathed. 

"Right…" His eyes fell to my mouth again. I licked my lips. Julian bit his.

"Dare?" I suggested because I couldn't stand the silence.

But he didn't answer. His eyes rose to mine. My fell to his lips. He groaned softly, then my head spun.

Julian _kissed_ me. He cupped my cheek, leaned in and _kissed_ me. He _kissed_ me gently, softly, soon drawing a moan from me. I gasped when he kissed me harder and I opened my mouth and kissed him back, feeling lightheaded. This was surreal. I didn't even like him. That much. Didn’t I? Oh gods, and what would Asra say…

Oh, who cares.

A moan escaped my lips, and I moved closer to Julian. I reached to his chest, pulled on his collar. Julian momentarily wrapped an arm around my waist, took me under the knee and pulled me on his lap. I was dizzy with the wine, Julian’s taste and the heat of his body. He kissed me with abandon, humming loudly as if my mouth was the most delicious thing he'd ever tasted. He groped me shamelessly through my robe, and I melted in his arms and followed his every move like I was born to do that. I instantly got addicted to the feeling of his fingers in my hair, his tongue on mine, his hand stroking my thigh… Then, he pulled me closer, held me tighter, and my groin pressed to his stone-hard cock, and I let out the most pathetic, needy moan I would be ashamed of in the morning.

Julian moved an inch away and looked at me with a mixture of awe and lust. “Oh my _god_, [name],” he gasped before he was all over me again but with even more enthusiasm. He pulled my robe apart and off of my arms, leaving me naked on his lap for his restless, curious hands. I didn’t mind. I didn’t care. I just wanted more. I didn’t care if we had a job to do or if not so long ago I couldn’t stand this man. No, he felt so good I didn’t give a damn about any of these anymore. His hands were warm. They wandered over my body with adoration, caressed my breasts, stroked my sides down to my buttocks and thighs. It felt so fucking _good _I could barely believe it. I had no idea I needed this so much. Oh, and I needed _so_ much more. It made me impatient. I pushed his shirt off of his shoulders and pulled on it, pulled it half-way out of the sash. Julian helped me unwrap it and tossed it aside. He shook the shirt off of his arms and I started to touch him wherever I reached. I pressed my chest to his and, oh god, his was so _hot_. I stroked his broad shoulders, his muscled back. I grazed my nails up the valley they created on his spine, and he moaned into my mouth, spurring me on. He was breathing heavily through his nose, not stopping to kiss me, not stopping to touch me, and suddenly, his fingers brushed my stomach, down to my groin and between my legs, and I jumped on his lap and broke the kiss with a gasp. I once again looked into his wicked eyes and the hunger I saw in them made me grip his shoulders and fight back a moan. I kissed him not to look into them. It was too much.

Julian kept massaging my clit, and it was driving me crazy. It felt good, so fucking good. I think my whole body went taut, my every nerve was humming with pleasure. Then, Julian moved his hand further and teased my entrance with the tips of his fingers. He purred and frowned, looking as tormented as I was right now.

"You're so wet already," he breathed against my lips, making me want to moan again.

I rolled my hips, yearning for more, and he slipped a finger up my cunt. I gasped, then whimpered softly. It went inside in one smooth move – I was so loose already, and it sent a sweet, tickling sensation through my veins. And nothing more. Nothing even close to what I really needed.

"Oh god…" he gasped again, noticing the same thing, and added second finger.

I clenched around them and pressed my forehead to Julian's. I sighed, a little bit more contented. That was better. He fucked me like this with long, hard moves, and held me close to him with his other arm. I rode his fingers as well as I could, still not satisfied, hoping it wasn't everything for tonight. I closed the distance between our faces and claimed his mouth again. I caught his soft, plump bottom lip between my teeth, relishing the sound he made.

"[name]," he breathed in wonder between kisses. "I want to taste you. Please, you have to let me. I want- I have to- _Please._"

Before I even comprehended what he said, he gripped me under my thighs and lifted me up on the bed. He spread my legs and dove between them, and my head fell back and I cried out when he started to lick my aching cunt with long, hard strokes. He purred with delight and pushed his tongue up my leaking entrance. I whimpered and cursed, and curled my fists in the sheets. I was hot like never before. I didn't know what to do with myself. I didn't know what I wanted. But then, spontaneously, my hand reached down and grabbed a handful of Julian's hair and pulled him up, back to my clit. He moaned, a sound I already came to adore, and started to dutifully lick and suck on it. He left my legs on his shoulders and pulled my hips closer to the edge of the bed. His hands wandered up to my breasts and kneaded them and rubbed my nipples. I was in heaven. And then, Julian remembered about fingering me, and it was even better. He stuffed two fingers back inside me and started to fuck me hard with them. The force of it rocked me on the bed and it pulled breathless, wanton sounds from me, made my thighs spread wider, and fuck, soon, suddenly, I was close and a second later, I came. I screamed in a broken voice, my whole body spasmed, making me sit up. Julian kept suckling on my clit and pumping his fingers in and out with an obscene, wet sound throughout my orgasm, which didn't seem to have an end.

When I was done, all my strength left me and I just fell back on the bed. Julian still had his mouth on me, making me squirm. "No, please, enough, no more…" I mumbled to Julian and very gently pushed his head away from my groin. 

He looked up at me, the fucking eyes of his making my cunt clench hopelessly around nothing, and with a small, smug smile, he wiped his mouth on the inside of my thigh. "No more?" he whispered, his voice low, making me bite away a moan. "Can't be. I've only warmed up." He once again dipped his head between my legs and sucked on my clit. 

I shivered violently. The insane pleasure-pain struck me like a lightning. It was too much, I didn’t want it, no… "No!" I gripped Julian's hair and pulled his head up.

He gasped and grimaced, so I let go, scared that I hurt him. But the wicked smile he gave me in return assured me that I'd better fear for myself. He grabbed my waist and pulled me off the bed and on his lap. He pressed my back to the bed and kissed me with ferocity that made my toes curl. But before he did that, I got a glance at his cock, hard and thick, straining against his trousers, with the tip peeking past the waistband. I pushed my hands between our bodies and struggled to undo his trousers. Julian helped me, lowered them enough to pull his cock out, then pushed my shoulderblades against the bed, lifted my hips and just pressed it deep inside me. A momentary outrage at his audacity vanished when a wave of delight crashed it, and I screamed a shameless _Yes! _Still holding my hips, Julian started to pound into me. I held onto his shoulders and I pressed my toes to the floor but even though, all I could do was bounce on his lap. His cock kept stretching my hole, as if it wasn’t loose enough. It was amazing, I didn’t realise how much I needed a good fuck. I braced my feet against the floor and did my best to meet his thrusts. 

"Like this?" he breathed suddenly into my ear. "You good?" 

I managed to laugh between my moans. What a moment to sober up. Well, better late than never. 

"[name]," he growled impatiently and made me look at him with a hand at the back of my head. 

I whimpered at the way he said my name. "_Yes_! Oh my god, yes! Don’t stop, don’t ever stop!" I begged, my pride long gone.

Julian moaned and gasped, and pressed his lips to mine, bringing them into a hungry kiss. He took my head in both hands, then wrapped one arm around my waist and pressed me tight to him. He moved and tilted me back. Still holding me close to him, still buried deep inside me, he put me on the thick, soft carpet, and covered me with his body. I hugged his hips with my thighs, not stopping to kiss him. His cock pressed deeper up my cunt, stretched me more, made me fuller. I threw my head back with a high-pitched gasp, and then, my head spun, my vision blurred, and that's the last thing I remember. I don’t even know how we got to bed.


	3. The Charmer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Damn, that one got long...

Warm, golden light passed through the silken curtains, filling the room with soft glow. I breathed deeply and stretched, not opening my eyes just yet. I was still dazed with sleep, still slightly tipsy and so relaxed and comfortable I could stay like this forever. I rolled on my side, the mattress hugging me warmly, and snuggled to the hot, familiar body next to me.

"I had such a strange dream, Asra," I mumbled, barely understanding myself.

"Hmmm?" the man hummed, his voice low after the night, and moved towards me. A strong, heavy arm slid across my waist, pulling me closer. Bare chest pressed to mine, letting me feel it rise and fall slowly. Hot breath ruffled my hair and soft lips brushed a kiss to my forehead. I felt so good I started to drift off when suddenly, he tensed and moved away. "Wait, _ who _?"

My eyes shot open and, even though my vision was still blurry, I saw it wasn't Asra's familiar purple eyes or caramel skin or white hair…

"What the fuck!" I jumped away from Julian and pulled the cover over myself, in effect pulling it off of him.

And he was _ naked _.

"Hey!" He pulled the cover back over himself, leaving _ me _naked. 

I huffed in outrage and slid off of the bed to grab my bathrobe discarded on the floor. I wrapped myself in it and stomped to the bathroom. 

"No, no, no, not so fast!" he called after me, and I heard him get out of the bed.

I ran, as fast as I could hungover and barefoot on the marble floor, but he reached the door a second before me either way and blocked the entrance. "Hey! I need a shower!" I didn’t give up just yet.

"Oh sure, but me, too. So, if you'd excuse me." He slipped inside and shut the door in my face. I heard the lock click and a moment later, the water run.

It was outrageous. 

I put my hand on the doorknob, and the lock clicked open without me even trying. "No, you’re not excused. Why the hell were you even in bed? I won!"

Standing under the shower, Julian jumped and cursed, startled. "Oh for fuck's sake, [name]!" he just shouted and gave me an annoyed look over his shoulder.

It changed, though, when I dropped my robe to the floor and went under the shower with him. If I were to be intimidated by him being naked, then he would be, too. It was a power play now. "You heard me. I won the bed. Why were you in it?"

The bastard had the nerve to laugh, then grimaced and groaned. "Oh, my head…" He put his hands on the wall and bent, so the water ran on his nape. Some splashed at me and made me yelp. It was ice-cold.

I stepped as far as I could and crossed my arms on my chest. "Why were you in it??" 

He straightened up and sighed. I tried to look at his face _ only _, not at how dark his hair got, or how the water ran down his neck and collarbones, and that broad chest. Or lean stomach. Or, or these long, infuriating muscles over his hipbones...

No, I didn’t look at that.

"Sorry to tell you this, princess, but it was me who won the bed. But like I said earlier, you were very much welcome in it." He smiled smugly, boyishly, and winked at me.

Oh, I hated him so much. I thrummed my fingers against my arm. "_ Absolutely not _. The last turn was-"

"Was mine, and I asked you a question and you refused to answer. There you go." He started to wash himself as if I wasn't even there.

"Excuse me? The last turn was about you kissing my neck," I persisted, an annoying heat creeping up said neck at the sight of his hands touching his body. At which I did not look.

"Yeah, that was nice," he sighed with a dreamy smile. "But it wasn't the last turn."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "You're lying." 

"Am I?" he sighed indifferently and put his face under the water. The very sight of it gave me chills.

But no, he wasn't.

I hesitated. "What was the last turn, then?"

"You really don't remember? My, my, young lady, you can't hold your liquor at all."

I punched him half-heartedly on the shoulder, and he laughed. Damn, the water was cold! "What was it?"

"I'll tell you when you're finished. The shower is all yours," he said, walking out. He grabbed a bathrobe. "Thanks for keeping me company. It was… strange."

I sighed, feeling terribly confused and annoyed. And my head was pounding. A nice, _ warm _ shower should help. I adjusted the temperature and stood under the stream of water, put my head under it and ran my fingers through my hair. Damn, it was awfully tangled and…

My fingers got stuck half-way through a strand. I brought it to my face.

"Why is my hair sticky, Julian?" I asked but he shut the door behind him a second later and I didn’t feel like shouting at him anymore, the lucky bastard. When I finally emerged from the bathroom, I completely forgot about the hair. Now, I'll never know. 

I found Julian still in his robe, sprawled comfortably on the bed – it was already made. In front of him, on the bedspread, there were two trays with breakfast. He was already having his.

"Thanks for waiting for me," I scolded him, taking my place on the bed and reaching for my cup.

"Yesterday," he informed me between sips of coffee. "I learnt you are able to spend hours in the bathroom. I was afraid I might starve."

"Nevermind. Tell me about the dare you claim I lost."

He laughed shortly. "Yes, right. But it wasn't even a dare, it was truth."

"Alright, doesn't ma- Wait a minute! It’s impossible. For you to have one more turn, I would have to have one more, and I didn't!" 

"But you did."

"No, I didn’t. What are you talking about?" 

"You dared me to kiss you."

My mouth fell open with shock. I dropped my toast on the tray. "_ No, I did not _."

Julian laughed at my outrage. "_ Yes, _you did. I said 'Dare', and you said 'Kiss me'. And I did."

No! He was wrong! "_ I _ asked you 'Dare' and _ no one _said anything about kissing," I explained triumphantly.

He frowned pensively. "Really? I would swear that… Oh, nevermind. It was great."

"What was your next turn, then?" I changed the subject. 

He smirked. There was mischief in his eyes. I didn't like it. "Come here." He pushed our trays away and leaned towards me. His robe parted.

I took a nervous sip of my tea. "What for?"

He took the cup out of my hand. "Just come closer."

I hesitated but eventually did as he asked, just curious what he'd do. Holding my gaze, he moved even closer to me and cupped my chin. He looked me in the eye before he pulled me in for a kiss. And I let him because of reasons obscure to me. The kiss was warm and slow, until I, heavens help me, kissed Julian back. He hummed and opened my mouth with his lips and slid his tongue inside. I moaned, somehow inviting him to wrap his arms around me and pulled me to his chest. My hands almost on their own find the way under his robe, feeling the smooth, cool skin of his chest and shoulders. Now, completely lost, without a tiniest protest, I let him open my robe and maneuvered me down on the bed. I let him between my legs embarrassingly easily. His weight on top of me was pleasant and exciting, and he kissed me deeply, loudly, with his hand in my hair, and his hardening cock bare and hot against the crease of my thigh. Frankly, at this moment, it was difficult for me to care about any trivial matters, like my pride. 

But all of the sudden, the jerk stopped. "We were like this," he breathed, his lips brushing mine with every word.

I looked back at him, feeling hazy and slightly annoyed. "What?"

He smiled and kissed me some more. That was more like it. "We were more or less like this," he mumbled between kisses. "You were breathless beneath me, you had my cock buried deep inside your sweet, little pussy," he whispered and nibbled on my ear, making me gasp and roll my hips against his. "I was fucking you gently, enjoying the feeling of you clenching around me and the way you were mewling into my ear. You were so hot and soft, just like now."

“I don’t mewl,” I protested half-heartedly.

“Yes, you do.” He bit on my lip playfully, then moved down, kissing my neck. "So prettily. But I wanted to hear more from you. So I asked 'Truth or dare'. And you laughed and said 'Truth'. So I said 'Tell me you want me'." He bit my neck, and I gasped and trembled. "You didn't answer, you stubborn witch." He rose and looked at me. He smirked. "That's how you lost."

I frowned, feeling annoyed all over again. Even though his sweet words made me grow hot. That and the story. So embarrassing… Especially that it really might have had happened. "It does ring a bell," I agreed, looking away.

He snickered and leaned in to kiss my neck again. Somehow, it cheered me up. Each kiss sent a sweet spark through my veins. And then, his hand moved down my side and hip, bringing my leg up against his waist, then slid up my thigh and ass. I gasped at the feeling of his fingers brushing my sex. I just couldn't believe how straightforward he was when it came to me.

To sex with me at least...

Julian hummed. "But it was so good, [name]." A delicious thrill ran down my spine at the sound of my name on his lips. "Please, tell me you want me and I'll make love to you in any way you've ever dreamed of. Would you like me to? I’ll do anything to make you scream just like last night. Anything to please you, my little witch."

Why was it so hard to resist him? "Anything?" I teased. 

"[name]," he purred into my ear. "Say you want me, want _ this _, that you'll miss it when we're back. I know I will. Say it and I'll be all yours, I'll be your toy, I'll do anything, you'll do to me any dirty thing you want." 

My hands clenched into fists on his shoulders, and he gasped when I grazed my nails against his skin. "You've got so pretty words, doctor." 

He whined and squeezed my buttock. "Please. Call me Julian, please, baby. I want to hear you say my name when I spoil you."

Oh dear gods. "Mm, you ask so nicely." 

"Please, [name]."

I braced my foot and elbow on the bed and flipped us. He gasped in surprise "Alright. I want you, Julian. I do," I whispered sweetly, winning a delighted smile from him. "But this time, I want to be on top of you."

Julian groaned and his hands wandered up my thighs, and I… let it happen. "As you wish, my lady," he breathed, leering at me, making my cheeks grow hot. "Use me, abuse me, play with me or hurt me. Anything for your pleasure. I'll take everything to entertain you."

"I might have a few ideas," I mused, brushing my fingers through his hair from his temple to the back of his head. He closed his eyes and purred like a cat, then moaned shamelessly when I curled them into a fist, pulling lightly. "You've been pretty annoying, you know."

"I can be _ so _ much more annoying as long as you keep doing this to me," he promised, arching into my touch. 

As his eyes were still closed, I let myself smile a little. "We'll see. First, get us the room."

"At once," he agreed with zeal, then flipped me on my back again and kissed me with heat that made me melt underneath him within seconds and forget about my desire to use him. It wasn't very submissive of him but I guess I could turn a blind eye to this, especially when his tongue was sliding against mine so deep in my mouth. Suddenly, he stood up, leaving me breathless and slightly cold without him on top of me, and searched the floor for his clothes.

"Get us the room and meanwhile, I'll think what to do to you," I said, when I caught my breath.

Julian looked at me, and I sat up, letting my dishevelled robe open and slide off of my shoulders. He groaned, ogling my naked breasts and belly with his lip between his teeth, half-way through doing up his trousers. 

I raised an eyebrow. "Well?"

His eyes snapped back to my face and finished dressing up in record time. Just before he left, he one last time pressed me down to the mattress and slid his tongue down my throat. He pulled a pathetic moan from me, then stood up and smirked, the bastard. I sent a pillow in his direction but it didn’t reach him.

“Hmm, my lady’s a little impatient,” he hummed, putting the eyepatch on.

"Just go, Julian. You don't want me to change my mind."

"No, I definitely don't." 

He ran out and before I nestled comfortably against the pillows and decided which way of draping the robe over my shoulders and legs would be the sexiest, he came back. He stopped at the foot of the bed, hesitant suddenly. His eyes roamed over my body, and I let mine wander over his, too. I bit on the nail of my index finger. It was going to be fun.

"Strip," I said shortly. 

He exhaled sharply, let out a short laugh. "With pleasure."

To my delight, he started with the eyepatch. He blinked in the light and sent me a shy, apologetical smile. But I didn't show any sign of repulsion, so he made a show of taking off his gloves, pulling them off finger by finger. I could already see a blush creep up his neck. Next, he unbuttoned his jacket and shook it off of his shoulders. 

"Slower," I told him. 

His eyes went wide before he laughed softly. "As you wish, you naughty thing." He dramatically let the jacket fell to the floor. I snorted and bit on my smiling lips, even though heat pooled in my belly. Julian opened the buttons of his shirt one by one, looking down at me like a predator on his prey. He pulled the shirt out of the trousers, showing more and more of his perfect torso, then turned around to pull it off of his arms, so I could see the muscles of his back work. The tips of his ears were red.

"Nice," I praised him, hiding with the back of my hand a smile and my own blush on my burning cheeks. 

He snickered and glanced at me over his shoulder.

I loved it when he looked at me with the red eye. It always sent a shiver down my spine. It was damn hot. "Did I tell you to stop?" I asked though, feigning surprise.

Julian sighed with a bit of exaggeration, tossed the shirt aside and put his foot on the edge of the bed. "You're insolent," he announced, quietly, undoing his boot and taking it off with practiced moves.

"Why would you say that?" I murmured absentmindedly, observing him taking off the other boot. I could see his cock grow already, it strained against the front of the tight trousers. The tip almost poked out the waistband. It made me hungry. I rearranged my legs, letting the robe fall off of them. Julian's eyes immediately fixed on my thighs and wandered up. He bit his lip and looked up at my face, his eyes dark. I probably uncovered the tip of my sex, too.

"Go on," I hurried him gently. 

His eyes shot to mine, and he undid his trousers, button by button, coming closer and closer to the head of the bed. His cock, already heavy and swollen, slid out and jutted between his legs when he undressed. He straightened up and looked at me, his eyes hooded. He cocked his head. "Where do you want me, my darling?" 

I turned on my side, my head spinning and heart pounding, and patted the bed next to me. "Here."

He smiled and lied on his side just an inch away from me. He reached out to my face. 

I raised a finger, and he froze. "On your back," I told him. He hesitated for a second, then did as I said. He took the hem of my robe in his fingers and ran it between them. "Hands on the headboard," I demanded then, too.

This time, his brow raised and incertitude flashed in his eyes. But he obeyed. For a moment, I watched the way muscles of Julian's chest positioned with his arms up, then I sat up and slid out of the bathrobe. Julian devoured my naked body with his eyes. His cock twitched, now fully hard and thick. His fingers unclenched and clenched around the bars. 

"Keep them there unless I tell you otherwise, understood?"

He smiled lazily. "Or what?" 

I smiled back and moved to lie on top of him. He gasped at the feeling of our bodies touching, and I took the chance to slip my tongue into his mouth. He moaned and bucked up, between my legs. Kissing him like I was crazy for him, I reached down and parted the folds of my sex. I pushed two fingers up my channel, finding it pleasantly loose and wet. I took them out, smearing my slick between the folds and Julian's cock. Then, I started to move. I slid my open cunt up and down Julian's whole length, from the base to the head. Julian bit my lip and purred like a cat.

After a few moments, I stilled. "Or I'll stop and dress up," I said before Julian managed to protest.

His brows knit together, as he watched me, my body hovering over him, the red head of his cock peeking from between my thighs. He sighed. "Oh, alright, it's fair. Whatever you want, sweetheart, just… just keep going. Please. It was so good." 

I kissed him one last time before I sat up and started to slide against his cock. He observed me and hummed softly as I chased my pleasure. His cock felt perfect – hot, hard and smooth.

"I want to come like this, Julian," I said, breathless, acting coy. I grazed my thumb over his bottom lip. "Can I? Can I use your cock like this?"

"Oh _ yes, _please."

I leaned closer, brushing my lips against his. "Say it."

He took the chance and captured my lips in a desperate kiss before I raised away from his reach. I pulled on his hair and rose off of his cock. 

"You bastard," I hissed, amused like never before. "_ Say _ it."

Julian whined and moaned shamelessly. I could swear he lifted his head just a little to increase the pain, the beautiful freak. He raised his hips and brushed his cock against the crease of my thigh. I pulled harder for this, forcing a whimper from him. 

"Oh _ fuck _, [name]! Oh please, please, keep touching me. Use me however you want. Come, I want to see it. Let me… Please, anything, just keep touching me."

Feeling satisfied, I let go of his hair and sat on him. I gasped at the wonderful pressure once again on my clit, and moved. I kept my eyes on Julian’s face. I couldn't get enough of the sight of him enjoying so much so little relief I was giving him. My moves soon shortened, quickened. I focused on rubbing my clit against the head, the verge of it. I was so close, my thighs burnt, just needed a little bit more. I opened my eyes, till now screwed shut in concentration, and saw Julian, flushed and panting beneath me, lips parted, eyes dark, his strong arms over his head in submission. He watched me with hunger that made my confidence crumble a little. And it was enough for me to come. My body contracted, a long moan escaped my lips. I pressed my pulsing clit as hard to his cock as I dared and fell on my forearms, panting, rolling my hips slower and slower. When waves of pleasure decreased, when the last one washed through me, I sat up with a satisfied smile.

Julian was blushing furiously, the way I'd only seen him last night. He swallowed hard. "I, um…" He cleared his throat. "I hope you're not done, are you, darling?" 

I giggled. Poor Julian thought that was it. "Why, what would you like, Julian, hm? What would you like from me?" 

Julian ogled me with outright yearning. "Let me touch you."

"Absolutely not."

His eyes went wide, then his face fell adorably. "Oh come on… You can't be that cruel. Please, sweetie, let me hold you. Or kiss me at least, please…"

"Hush. One wish at the time, and I already said no. Don't be greedy," I scolded him softly, moving up to kneel with my thighs on the sides of his head. I felt his gasp on my cunt. "What about my wish? I wish you'd make me come with this clever mouth of yours, how about that?" 

Julian craned his head up, trying to touch me. "Please, come here already." 

I slid my fingers into his hair and lowered myself on his lips. My breath hitched, and he groaned when his tongue swept over my entrance and clit.

"You're delicious," I heard him mouth against my thigh, before he started to eat me out in earnest. He pulled a moan from me with each move of his tongue. My hand curled in his hair, and he groaned, and sucked on my clit like it was a sugar cube. My back arched and I whimpered, leaning on the headboard. Oh gods, I dreamt of his fingers inside me right now. Would I break my rule for this?

Julian apparently read my mind. "Let me," he murmured between generous licks over sex. "Let me finger you. I know you want it," he tried to coax me, the audacity of his.

"Hush. I've got this." 

When he again focused on eating me out, I reached behind me and slid two fingers up my channel. I felt Julian's tongue brush them. He frowned and groaned at the back of his throat as if it was him being fingered. I smiled to myself. Receiving oral from him felt like doing _ him _a favour. I pumped my fingers inside me as deep and fast as I could, cherishing this feeling, this adoration, desire for me he never hid. I rode his tongue and my fingers, imagining these were his. Imagining his hands on my thighs, or hips, moving up to my breasts… I remembered him bouncing me on his cock last night. Suddenly, my orgasm grew, quickly, shortly, then shot through me, also short but sharp, making me scream. I gripped Julian's hair and pushed his head into the pillow, away from my terribly sensitive clit. I couldn’t take his touches anymore. I kneeled over him, catching my breath. Then, I looked down, and the bastard was smiling, licking his lips.

I guess he had the right to smirk. "You're so good," I sighed wiping his mouth with my fingers. I slid my thumb between his lips, and he took it greedily, deeply, sucking and licking. "Another wish, sweetie? You've earned it." I pulled my finger out.

Julian hummed around it as long as he could. He stared at my cunt. "Could you… take me inside you?" he asked breathlessly.

"Mm. Go big or go home, huh?" 

He pressed a kiss to my thigh. "Please, my dear. I want that so much. You feel so good, I need you again…" 

I hummed, stroking his hair. "How could I say no to this?" I backed up and reached behind me. I put the tip of his cock against my entrance and slowly took it in. I squeezed my eyes shut and moaned. I was loose but not stretched and so, I was now forced open, his cock just a little too big for me now, the pain of it delicious.

I took him all the way, pressed my buttocks to his groin. His eyes fluttered shut and his lips parted as he panted.

I loved it. "How do I feel?"

He rolled his head from side to side, biting away a moan, arching his back, pushing just a bit deeper into me. The stretch burnt, my core pulsed and I gasped at the feeling.

"How do I feel, Julian?" I repeated, quietly. I was breathless myself. 

The muscles of his arms flexed. For a moment I thought he'd reach for me. But he just groaned. "Amazing. Just perfect. You’re so soft and warm. You hold my cock so nicely, so tightly…" 

"I'm glad," I cut him off softly. "Now, don't move." I closed my eyes and put my fingers on my clit. My breath sped up as I touched myself. I was now pleasantly sensitive from the orgasm and still so teasingly close. My hips twitched from time to time and my channel clenched on its own around Julian's cock, filling me up so well. Then, I heard Julian gasp and whimper helplessly. 

"[name], sweetheart, please.. You feel perfect but could you move? At least a bit..." he begged desperately. "Just a little bit, please, I can't… It’s infuriating. Please, fuck me, ride me, I need it, please." 

I cracked one eye open and gave him a smile, just a small one. "Just a little bit more. You're doing great." I felt him twitch inside me, making me gasp and clench around him. I rubbed my clit faster, almost, almost there. To come, I needed only to bounce hard two or three times on Julian’s thick cock and hear his surprised screams. I threw my head back and froze with my fingers pressed hard to my clit, relishing the way my muscles fluttered around Julian's cock and the waves of raw pleasure pulsed through me. I took my time getting down from my high. I felt so relaxed. I couldn't help but smile. I bit on my bottom lip, and it was so wonderfully sensitive. I looked down at Julian.

"If you could see yourself now," I purred to him.

He was breathing hard, doing his best not to pant. His brow and chest glistened with sweat. His hair curled wildly on the pillow. A few strands stuck to his temples and forehead. I let myself brush them away, and he sighed loudly and closed his eyes, turning his face into my palm. I withdrew my hand soon, making him groan in disappointment. 

I bit my lip again. I shouldn’t be smiling so much, should I?

"Do you want me?" I asked innocently. 

"More than air," he breathed without a second of hesitation. His hips rolled gently, pushing his cock into me. I purred. It felt exquisite. I leaned on my hands on the sides of his head, watching his face change with desire for me. He turned his head to the side and reached with his mouth to my wrist and kissed me with a delighted hum. "You're magnificent. You're perfect. You’re everything I've ever wanted. Just let me have a little… a little of you. Just a bit. At least. Please." 

I bit on my smiling lips. Flatterer. "And how much would you take of me if you could?" I asked slowly, actually already regretting I said it out loud. 

But then, he faced me again. His eyes were so dark I could get lost in them. "Everything," he answered, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. 

My heart skipped a beat. I ignored it. I raised on my hands, leaving barely the tip of his cock inside me. "Take me, then. As much as you can."

He didn't need to be told twice. He raised his hips, tentatively at first, and I moved away, still holding just the head.

"No, fuck, [name], please!" Julian whined but silenced the moment I curled my fingers around his throat.

"Just remember – keep your hands on the headboard," I breathed against his lips. "And be good. The moment you disobey, I'll have to stop all of this." I kissed the corner of his mouth. "Understood?"

Julian nodded feverishly. "I'll be good, I swear. Just please… Let me. I want you. So badly." 

I returned to the position. "Go on." 

He locked his gaze with mine and started to thrust up into my cunt. I shuddered and barely steadied myself. His moves were quick and hard. My moans and a slapping sound filled the room every time his hips met the back of my thighs. His eyes screwed shut every now and then, but he always remembered to force them open. Then, he watched me – my face, the way my mouth fell open and my brows knit together, the blush on my cheeks and neck, that was probably as bright as his; my breasts swaying with each thrust, my body over his, so close, but not quite; and his cock disappearing between my open legs. His hands clenched and unclenched around the bars of the headboard – a wonderful picture of his struggle to obey me and contain himself as he fucked me. I watched it with a smile that probably was plain mean. But I had never felt such power over anybody. And watching Julian let me play with him and fight off his needs was just amazing. 

"Stop," I said quietly for the first time, and Julian did – his hips fell on the mattress, leaving barely the head of his cock inside me – but more of surprise than obedience, I think, judging by the look on his face. It made me laugh. "_ Good _... Good boy." 

"What…?" he panted, utterly confused. 

"No questions. Move again." 

He did as he was told. He fucked me, struggling to take me deep. We moaned and panted, he groaned and closed his eyes every time I clenched around him. He fucked me until his moves stuttered. 

"Stop."

He did, he just listened to me. Reflexion must had come later, as he frowned and whimpered, understanding what I was doing to him. He laughed mirthlessly. "You cruel, little-"

"Again," I interrupted him. 

He shut up and held my challenging gaze. He fucked me. I could see on his face how much it cost him to do it as fast and hard all the time. I enjoyed it immensely. I watched the muscles of his abdomen flex and define under his skin. They must had been burning so much already… My eyes followed the lovely, narrow path of ginger hair from his bellybutton to his groin and short curls there, now wet with my slick. I looked up at his face again and leaned down slightly. His eyes shone with hope and he licked his lips. He stared at mine.

I smiled. "Stop."

He whimpered and frowned, and gripped the bars until his knuckles turned white. But he didn't stop thrusting.

"I said _ stop _," I repeated patiently.

For a second, Julian made a face as if he wasn't going to listen but eventually he stilled.

I patted his cheek. "Very good. A few times more and maybe I won't need to repeat myself for you to listen." 

He laughed again, a tint of madness in his voice. "Oh, aren't you cruel…"

I leaned even closer, and he stared at my lips and moaned hungrily when I licked them. "Any objections?"

He shook his head. "You didn't tie me up," he gasped in wonder. "Fuck, I could just hold you down and rail you senseless." 

My muscles clenched around him on their own, making him throw his head back and press his lips together to muffle a moan. His hips twitched as if he was going to move them up. But he stayed still.

I rewarded him with a smile. "Do you want me to tie you up?" I asked sweetly.

He thought about it. His darkened eyes wandered down my body, stopped at my breasts over his heaving chest, never quite touching him, and up to my face. He shook his head. 

"Do you want to rail me senseless?" 

Another muffled moan, another impatient twitch, another frustrated laugh. "You've no idea," he admitted, his voice low. 

Anticipation shot to my head like sparkling wine. "Will you?"

"The moment you tell me to."

I tutted and pouted. "Hm, if I have to tell you to do this, then you don’t want it strong enough." I returned on my position, relishing the shocked, tortured look on his beautiful face. But I'd come three times already, I could wait. "Again, then."

He groaned and jerked up, making me cry out and see stars, and almost fall on top of him. Almost. Without thinking, I slapped him.

His head stayed on the side, the blush on his cheeks, neck and chest deepened. He was breathing heavily through his nose. I observed him closely, expecting him to pounce on me any moment. He turned back to me, his lips parted and eyes almost black. I held his gaze.

"Again," I repeated calmly. 

If I blinked, I might had missed the shiver that shook his body before he continued to fuck me, deep and slow. Every stroke of his cock sent a delicious thrill down my spine. I enjoyed it for a few minutes more. It and watching Julian struggle to take me as deep as possible with my hips that high over his. Then, I decided to unburden him.

"Stop."

"Oh fuck, [name], _ please _ !" he whimpered but clenched his fists on the headboard and stilled. “I’m so close this whole time! Just _ please _, give me a minute more...”

“Oh sweetheart…” I sighed. “But it’s for you this time.”

Julian looked with me with hope.

“Oh yes. You look tired, honey. So now, you lie down and do not move, not even a finger, and I’ll do the work.”

Before he reacted, I sat on top of him, clenched around his cock and rose, making him close his eyes and moan softly. Leaving the tip of his cock inside me, I loosened up and sunk on it again, taking it in smoothly. I fucked him like this – slowly but hard, as hard as I could. I watched him closely and when his breath turned into panting, when his moaning became louder and his hips started to twitch up, I sat down and stilled.

When he realised that I stopped, he whined and gave me a tortured look. “[name], no, no… Please, don’t stop! I’m literally _ begging _ you to keep moving, my darling, my love, _ please _!”

I squeezed him as hard as I could but didn’t move. His gasp came into a whimper.

“You want to come so bad?” I breathed and touched him for the first time since I sat on top of him. I ran my hands up his torso, and he shivered and arched to my touch. I caressed his neck and face with feather-light touches.

“_ Yes _ ,” he groaned, pressing his cheek to my palm. “It feels so good, [name], my sweetness. And I’ve been close for so long. I just need a little bit more, just a _ little bit _ , [name], sweetheart, please… I’ll do anything, just anything, just let me come, _ please _, my dear, let me come.”

I watched him with awe. He trembled and squirmed with hunger. He was hot and panting, frustrated and desperate. But still, he didn’t move. His hands kept gripping the headboard, his knuckles white with effort, his legs pressed into the mattress, but he kept fighting off the need to thrust up into me. Just because I told him to.

“Anything?” I whispered with a sweet smile.

“Anything, absolutely _ anything _ you want, anything…”

“Break.”

“What?”

“Break for me. Lose control. I want to see this. I want to feel it.”

Julian still looked confused. But I just started to ride him again. He sighed in pleasure but didn’t move. So, I increased the pace. Soon, I was bouncing on his cock, squeezing it, slamming my thighs on his lap as loud as I could. Julian moaned and panted and watched me with so much lust it made my blood boil. After barely a few moments, he again tensed and started to be loud. And I again, sat still on him.

“Oh _ fuck _ … [name]!” he shouted, frustrated to the limit. He looked at me – _ leered _– with such anger and hunger I trembled.

His self-control was crumbling, I could sense it. He wanted to put his hands on me so badly. And there was nothing beside it keeping him down, not a rope, not a spell, nothing. He was right – he could have his way with me any moment he decided. But I kept my position and after a second, I started to fuck him hard again. Julian gasped and arched his back.

“_ Yes _ ! And don’t stop. You feel like heaven… Please, don’t you _ dare _ stop. I don’t know what I’ll do if you stop… _ Ohh… _ Mm, [name], darling, please… Let me come and I’ll do _ wonders _ to you, I promise!”

He won a moan from me, and I smiled. I knew he would. 

Soon, he was panting and moaning loudly again. I held him a bit longer this time. I waited for his breath to stutter, his blush to deepen and his hips to move with mine against my order. Then, I stood up and slowly crawled back to the corner of the bed.

Julian cried out in frustration and bucked into the air. His cock stood over his stomach, red and swollen, dripping with my slick. “Fuck! [name], you little witch!” he cursed. When his orgasm withdrew, he noticed I wasn’t on top of him anymore. He craned his head and saw me sit halfway to the corner, leaning on my elbows, with my legs crossed at the ankles. A heartbeat later, he reached out and pulled me by my ankle towards him. I rolled on my stomach with a laughter but before I reached the edge of the bed, he crawled on top of me and pushed his cock up my cunt. He pressed me down and started to pound inside me like I were not more than a doll. I let myself open up for him and just moan shamelessly underneath him. He gripped my wrists under my chest and panted hotly into my neck. He fucked me with bruising force. I could feel all the frustration he poured into each thrust. When I started to whimper from this rough treatment, this delicious pleasure-pain, he pressed his mouth to my shoulder, muffling his moans. His hands gripped my wrists harder. A moment later, he shouted and froze, coming, buried deep inside me. He jerked his hips, pulling a scream from me, again, and again, and again.

And then, he didn’t stop. After barely a second of break, he started to rock into me all over again. His mouth wandered up and down my neck and shoulder, leaving hot, wet kisses on its way. His hands left my wrists and one of them slid down my side and hip. My eyes rolled back and I moaned weakly at the soft caresses and his cock gently fucking my abused cunt. Suddenly, he slid off of my back and rolled me on my side. I followed his touch without resistance, feeling light-headed. He spread my thighs and kneeled between them, propping my legs on his hips. He pushed back inside me and took me slowly, thoroughly, all the time rubbing my clit with his thumb.

“Come, princess,” he breathed, openly watching my cunt take his cock. “Come for me, only once more. Let me feel it again.”

I keened and I shivered. He looked so hot kneeling over me, fucking me just perfectly, his thick cock keeping my sore channel open. His large hands were hot on my thighs and belly. He looked down at me with bliss in his beautiful, mismatched eyes. I clenched involuntarily, and his next thrust sent a spark up my spine. Since then, each his move made the sensation stronger and stronger. My clit throbbed under his fingers, my channel tingled and ached around his cock. Then, Julian touched me just the way I needed, and without a warning, my whole body spasmed and I came hard, screaming like a virgin, without a shadow of shame. Julian cursed and gripped me harder, fucking me steadily throughout my orgasm. When he groaned, his whole body tensed and his hands gripped my hips, I knew he came once again, deep inside me. He pulled out of me, and my breath trembled and all my muscles shivered. Julian slumped down next to me. He rolled me on my side and embraced me, pressing his lips to my temple. I sighed and closed my eyes, feeling profoundly relaxed and exhausted. My whole body ached. But I enjoyed Julian’s closeness, his cheek on the top of my head, my forehead on his hot neck. I purred and relaxed into him. Soon, I felt myself drift off, and didn’t fight it. I Iet myself go.

When I woke up, the sun was already high in the sky. I put my arms above my head and stretched carefully. I opened my eyes and saw Julian snuggling to my side. He moved and breathed deeply, waking up too. He looked up and down my naked body lying close to him and smiled slowly, sleepily. 

"I could get used to this," he murmured, tracing my curves with his hand.

I almost gave in to his caresses. But I remembered something, and my eyes shot open. "Damn! We were supposed to hunt Lucio!" I realised with an icy sting in my stomach.

Julian groaned and rolled his eyes. He slumped on top of me, his head on my chest. "Five more minutes," he mumbled and stilled. He wasn't going to get up.

"We don’t have five minutes," I argued half-heartedly. "It's so late already, and we haven’t done any progress since yesterday." 

He turned his head to face me. "On the contrary – I think we've done an enormous progress." He emphasised his point with a kiss on the top of my breast.

"I highly doubt Nadia's idea behind this trip was to integrate us."

He shrugged. "I don't, not really." 

"Well, either way." I pushed on his arms, and he obediently rolled off of me. I sat up and jumped on the floor. "Let me just wash up and we can head off," I said and looked over my shoulder to see if he listened to me. 

He was still lying, propping his elbow on the bed and his head on his hand. He eyed me, with a dreamy smile and dark eyes, all the way from my shins and thighs, up my butt and back to the side of my breast. I bet I was blushing by the time he stopped at my lips. He looked me in the eyes, still smiling, not even a shadow of shame in his. "Alright," he said only.

I fought the urge to wrap my arms around me. Not that it would make any difference. So, I turned back to him and slipped into the bathroom. While I freshened up, I thought about the rest of the trip with rising panic.

Sex was easy. I didn't need to worry about saying the wrong thing or Julian embarrassing me when we kissed, when we fucked. It came so naturally, as if we knew each other’s bodies already. But being around each other, getting anything done… It was a nightmare. And even though we broke the ice, I bet Julian would still drive me mad effortlessly during a simple task. So, dressing up, I toyed with an idea. Of course I had one, I was prepared for such an eventuality. But before I left, I looked up at my reflection in the mirror and found shame in my eyes. I frowned at myself and turned to leave. 

Julian was already dressed up and ready to go. He put the eyepatch back on, which kind of disappointed me. He was sitting on a window sill, looking down on the street. Right next to where I left my bag. I crossed the room, blushing more with each step, as Julian watched my every move. I squatted at his feet, over my bag and rummaged through it until I found my pouch. I stood up and patted Julian’s legs away. He took them off of the sill in hurry, such a dear.

"What've you got there? Some magical stuff?" he asked, looming over my shoulder as I unpacked the pouch. "Some dried plant, some herb? What is it? This… just paper, matches." His eye shone with understanding. "Ooo, I see."

"Let's face it," I said, preparing a joint. "Team work is not our strong point and we tend to get on each other's nerves. I don't know how about you but I've been stressed quite a lot lately and don’t need any more. That’s why I want to make dealing with each other at least a little bit easier.” I lit a match. “Because why not."

"Exactly. We can have some fun on vacation," he agreed, watching me light the joint and take a drag.

I grimaced, passing it to him. His fingers brushed mine. "We're not on vacation." 

"Whatever," he brushed it off and took a long drag of his own. "Wow," he breathed out a cloud of smoke. "Where have you got it from?" 

"Asra. He taught me to smoke it when I… have headaches. Or to help me calm down." 

"What a good guy, that Asra, isn’t he?" he sighed, a tint of sarcasm in his voice. "Well, I never come empty handed to a party. If I may." He reached into his coat and fished out a pocket flask. He handed it to me. "We can go nuts on vacation." 

"It's not a vacation," I persisted but accepted the flask. "Yeah, well… To, uh, fruitful trip." I raised the flask and took a swig. Ugh, vodka. "Disgusting. Thank you," I mumbled hoarsely and gave it back.

"To a fruitful trip," Julian accepted the toast and took a long swallow. "Tell me… Do you dance?"

I remember I choked on smoke but have no idea what I answered. The rest of the day and night comes back to me in short, shallow images or scenes, a bit hazy and without much context, like dreams. Maybe those were just dreams?

***

The enormous door opens and the air hits my face. It is chilly but pleasant, refreshing. I sigh deeply and smile.

"Carefully," I hear Julian say. He's right beside me, taking my arm under his, pulling me closer.

I let him. I enjoy it. I like his smell. Like smoke and skin, soap, vodka and coffee. Like New Year's Eve. Like a party that takes you from bar to bar, makes you do stupid things you always wanted to do and hit on the people you've had a crush on, all the way through a cold night and to the pale dawn.

I put my head on his shoulder and my other hand on his forearm as we walk down the stairs. I'm feeling a little unsteady.

***

The first witness – the owner of an inn by the forest. He saw a white, goat-shaped shadow slipping through the trees. His description sounded like Lucio. It’s good. But I can’t remember why. 

***

I slip on mud and almost fall on my ass but Julian's arm is steady against my back. He laughs like an idiot as he steadies me and says something about how clumsy I am. I tell him to go fuck himself, trying to sound angry. Then, the twit scoops me up and keeps walking, while I squirm and beg him to put me down. With the corner of my eye, I can see people stare at us.

***

The second witness – a baker, whose tiny shop was squeezed between much larger auction house and jewellery shop. We ask him just a few essential questions. What did the ghost look like? What did it do? Where did it go? Etcetera. He doesn't tell us anything interesting. Not that Julian or I remembered to take notes.

We walk out and take turn towards the next witness. Suddenly, Julian pulls us to a stop.

I look up at him. "What's wrong?" I murmur, my voice ringing in my ears.

He watches me, his gaze boring into mine. He leans in and presses a kiss into my open hand. "I forgot something. I'll be back soon," he says and rushes behind the corner. 

I shrug and wait. I have no idea what he was talking about. 

***

I remember we got hungry and went to a restaurant to have a late lunch. But I don't remember how we ended up in a bar or when did the sun set.

***

My back presses into a hard, cold stone wall but Julian is all over me, his warmth, his intoxicating smell, and this stirs something inside me, something soft, hot, yearning, aching. I arch up into him, my chest pressed to his. His arms are wrapped around me, his hands stroke my back, grope my hip and buttock. His mouth is so hot on mine, moving slowly, unhurriedly, with adoration he's never kissed me before. I can’t get enough of it. And I feel happy. So, very, very happy. I can’t stop smiling into the kiss. I think I feel him smiling, too. I reach up to run my fingers through his hair. 

"Ay," he winces, catching my hand on his forehead.

My free hand shots to his cheek. "Oh. Sorry…"

But he smiles and kisses the inside of my hand. "You'll get used to it."

Somehow, he makes me feel even happier.

***

The music's loud, fast, the beat thrums through my body. Julian holds me close to him, moving us to the rhythm, then takes my hand and spins me around, and I land gracelessly on his chest, laughing loudly. He beams at me (I wish he could take the eyepatch off) and says something I don't quite get.

“What?” I scream to him over the music.

***

There are people all around us. Smiling people. Drunk. The music's even louder. Julian's arm is wrapped around my waist, I'm pressed flush to his side. I put my cheek lightly on his shoulder and my hand on his chest. I'm slightly dizzy but amused and silly as fuck. 

Then, there's a shot in my hand, and in Julian’s, and everybody's around us. It's a toast but I can hardly make out words out over the noise and music. Nevertheless, I cheer and down my shot. We slam the glasses bottoms up on the table, then Julian puts his hand on my neck, dips me and kisses me. I yelp and giggle, and hold on to him for dear life because the world is spinning. All the people cheer and clap, and whistle, and call for one more toast, and it's the best night of my life.

***

The night is cold, the air stings my ear and nose, but I'm warm. I watch the reflection of white new moon flicker on the black waters of the river. Julian and I are hugging, swaying gently to a slow song played in the distance. I put my head on his chest, watch the moon. He presses a kiss to the top of my head and just stays like this. It's good. I'm warm. 

***

Our hotel room. Champagne is pouring, its sweet taste lingers in my mouth, it hums in my head. A violin and guitar is playing in the other end of the room, and some people are dancing. I'm sitting on Julian’s lap, he's sprawled on an armchair. He slipped his hand under my shirt and is stroking my side. His fingers are pleasantly cool against my skin.

***

They find their way under my skirt and smooth along the inside of my thigh to brush against my aching cunt. 

I gasp and jump on Julian’s lap, and I smack his hand away. "People are watching!" I remember gasping like a novice, making both of us laugh.

I remember Julian smiling up at me.

***

It's dark. It's quiet. Julian is heavy on hot on top of me, between my spread, raised legs, pounding into me for all he's worth.

“[name], baby, I could fuck you every day for the rest of my life and never get enough," he whispers urgently into my ear.

A sharp shiver runs through me and I moan. I moan, I scream, I pant like there is no tomorrow. I grip his arms and squeeze his waist with my thighs, rolling my hips up as high as I could to meet his every thrust. I let my head fall back and my eyes close, enjoying myself. We fuck so hard but so deliciously slow. Slow enough to let me relish the way his cock stretches and massages me. Slow enough to feel Julian’s quick breath on my neck and the whole length of his torso and tense abdomen slide along my breasts and belly. Then, not stopping, he rolls us on the side. He wraps his arms around me and rises to kiss me deeply, heatedly, as if I were the greatest wonder in the world. I kiss him back with the same energy. I could lie like this with him forever.

***

I was asleep, gently sobering up. Outside, the dawn was already tinting the sky grey. The cold morning light crept through undrawn or torn curtains.

I was woken up by the sound of door opening.


	4. The Witness

I was woken up by the sound of door opening. I lifted my head up from Julian’s chest and cracked one eye open. The room was grey with light of the early morning and there was a woman sneaking out of the bathroom. Her make-up was slightly smudged, her short, blue hair tousled, and she was clutching her high-heeled shoes to her chest. She saw I was awake and she smiled and waved to me.

“Best wishes!” she whispered, then tiptoed out of our room.

I stared at her, dumbstruck. “Julian!” I whispered hoarsely and sat up when the door closed behind her. “There was someone in here!”

“Who was here?” he groaned, rolling on his side and snuggling to my thighs.

“A woman with weird hair.”

“Oh, that was…” He made himself comfortable on my lap. “That was… Ann? Anna? You know, from that bar by the river.”

I frowned. There was a big black hole in my memory. “What?”

“What?” he mumbled.

“Julian, wake up! What bar? I don’t- Oh good gods! What happened here?” I gasped at the view of the bedroom.

Every surface was littered with glasses and bottles. There was confetti on the floor, and a coat, a stocking and a shoe. And… rice? A chair was toppled over, another stained with red wine.

At least I preferred to think it was wine.

Julian finally sat up and looked around, squinting. The confetti was also in his hair. “Oh god… What happened here?” He gave me a sleepy, confused look. He frowned. "Why is there confetti in your hair?" 

“I’m asking _you_ what happened! Oh gods, I'm sick… I can't remember anything right now. Was there a party? There was a party, wasn’t it?”

Julian almost responded but was interrupted by a yawn. He covered his face with his hands, then stared at them. I waited for an answer but the silence prolonged.

“Julian? Are you listening to me?”

Julian was still staring at his hands. I craned my neck to see what left him speechless. And I froze. My heart skipped a beat and my stomach twisted in a very, _very_ unpleasant manner.

“What is this?” I whispered, quietly, fearfully. I moved closer to see better but then, with the corner of my eye, I caught a glimpse of _my_ hand. I double checked, then gasped in horror.

This drew Julian’s attention. “What?” He turned to me and his face went white. He swallowed loudly. “Well, um… " he cleared his throat. "Good morning, Mrs Doctor Devorak, I guess?”

I glared at him, absolutely horrified. He stared back at me, stunned and wide-eyed like a child, as if he couldn’t believe that he had made that joke. Or that he even had an opportunity to make it. His gaze once again fell down on my fist curled on the cover and on my finger, adorned now with a ruby ring and a golden wedding ring – exactly like _his_!

"WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED HERE?" I didn’t control myself anymore.

Julian groaned and put his head in his hands. "[name], for the love of god, _please_, keep your voice down." 

"I am NOT going to keep ANYTHING down until I find out what the bloody FUCK happened last night!" I jumped out of the bed, wrapping myself in my bathrobe left once again on the floor. My head spun and pounded with blunt pain, and I stumbled, upsetting a five-level tower made of empty champagne glasses. Some rolled on the floor, some broke with an infernal noise.

"[name], what are you doing?" Julian groaned again. He ran his fingers through his hair and discovered the confetti. He tried to brush it off.

I almost didn't hear him. I was panicking. I stared at the rings on my finger just not comprehending what they meant or how they even got here. And frankly, I didn’t want to comprehend anything right now – I just didn't want _them_! I pulled on the rings, lightly, then as hard as I could, but they wouldn't come off. "They won't come off!" I whined, already on the verge of tears. I walked, or rather stumbled around the room, barely standing straight but still trying to get rid of my new fucking jewellery. But it stuck and pulling on it hurt but I just didn't care if I'd tear the skin off together with it – I just wanted it gone!

I bumped into a coffee table, making half of the bottles there tremble and fall off with a smash.

Julian's head snapped up. "[name], for fuck's sake! There's glass on the floor!" He jumped out of the bed, reached me in literally two steps and swept me up.

I yelped and squirmed, torn between wanting to push him away and cling to him for comfort. "They won't come off!" I complained. 

"I heard you," he sighed. "I know you're upset but I am wearing a ring, too, so if you could-"

"That's what worries me," I interrupted him.

Julian rolled his eyes and frowned, either with pain or irritation. "You know what, you’re not the only one freaking out right now."

"Actually, it looks like I am!" I let my frustration out. Julian just started to walk. "Because you just lie in that bloody bed and- _And _it's all your fault! If you didn't persisted on this stupid hotel, we would- AH!" I screamed when I suddenly fell and landed in the full bathtub. I sat up, coughing and brushing my hair out of my face. I scratched my forehead with the ruby. "Auch! Fuck!" 

"Will you calm down now?" Julian asked, his voice tired.

"No!"

"Well, alright." He shrugged and strolled to the mirror. He scrutinised his face with a disgusted frown, grabbed a comb and tried to pick the confetti out of his hair.

Meanwhile, I was soaking in panic and anger. And in surprisingly warm and pleasant water. Even despite the robe I still had on. I sank in deeper. With a corner of my eye, I saw Julian fumble with his hair. Then, he put his hands on the counter and hanged his head, sighing heavily. He thrummed his fingers against the marble. His ring clicked on the stone.

He took his hand off of the counter as if it burnt. "God damn it…" 

Alright. I guess I overreacted. "Sorry," I mumbled with half of my mouth underwater.

"Sorry?" Julian turned to me. He didn't hear me. He wasn't even trying to be rude back. What was wrong with him?

"I'm sorry. I was mean."

He snorted. "Yes, you were."

I nodded humbly. "It’s not your fault, sorry. And thank you. For picking me up. I mean, of the floor and glass."

He looked at me in the mirror. He smiled, the pretty bastard. "You're very light. Did you step on any?"

"No, I don't think so. You?"

"No."

"Good." 

He smiled again, somewhat sheepishly. "May I join you?"

I stared back at him. "You mean, in here? In the bath?"

"Yeah."

I shrugged. To my shock, I couldn’t think of any cons. "Sure, I guess. It can't get any weirder."

He hummed in agreement and came up to the bathtub. I moved to the side, giving him as much space as I could. The bath was big but damn, Julian was bigger. He stepped inside and sank in with a heavy sigh, making the water rise and splash in waves on the floor. He slid deeper and his legs from knees down stuck over the edge. I also observed that his cock floated up in the water like a thick balloon. I stopped looking at it immediately. 

"Sorry I dropped you in the bath," he said suddenly. 

"It's okay. I deserved it." 

We sat like this for a while, just soaking.

"So?" Julian broke the silence. He smiled decadently but I could tell he was tense. There was unease evident in his eyes. "What now, Mrs Devorak?" 

I grimaced. "I think I preferred it when you called me 'princess'," I mumbled, making Julian snort. Him smiling at me disturbed me so much more than him being naked. In a bath. With me. "I want to know what happened last night." I hesitated. "I think I do…"

He nodded slowly. "Yes, me too, I'm… I mean- I've never been more scared in my life," he confessed at last with a tense laughter. 

"Me too," I said before I thought it through. This strange, unfamiliar urge to make him feel better was taking over me faster than I would expect. It was terrifying the shit out of me. "But… All I remember is… We went out of the hotel, questioned the witnesses… We were in a restaurant, and then… it doesn’t make any sense. There were just lots of people and booze, and terribly loud music. I've no idea what was happening." 

Julian grunted pensively and stared at his knees. He blushed. I narrowed my eyes at him. 

"What? What do you remember?" 

"Pretty much the same," he mumbled with his hand against his lips. 

Liar. I could sense the truth bursting out of him. "What do you remember, Julian? It’s important," I demanded, sitting up, splashing more water around. 

He hesitated but finally sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. Some confetti fell from it and into the water. "Do you… remember the park? Trees, lanterns, a gazebo…?"

I gasped, my hands flew to my mouth. "What did you do there?" I asked, though I already knew the answer.

Julian looked anywhere but at me. "I- I- I…"

"You _proposed_! And we made out! You… you… lunatic!"

"You said _yes_!" He pointed a finger accusingly at me.

"But why would you… How-? When… _Oh gods_!" I gasped again, my hands on my cheeks. "The jewellery shop next to the bakery! You came back there without me! You bought _this_!” I flashed him my ring finger, the fucking ruby ring still snuggly on it.

"I don't know what I was thinking! I… I just like you, and I was so wasted I barely felt my face, and it seemed like a great idea at the time!" he explained, panic in his voice and wide eyes. "But you said _yes_!"

"I- I- I didn’t know what I was doing! I was drunk, too!”

“But you did.”

I swallowed hard. “Yeah, I did.” Yes, I imagine I did. In a state when only here and now matters, when tomorrow doesn’t exist, when affection is the truest… I looked away and bit on my thumb. The bloody rings again got into my field of vision. I swore under my breath and grabbed the nearest bottle of some soap or shampoo and poured it on my finger.

“Careful-” Julian said but I already pulled.

“Auch! _Fuck_!” I cried out in pain when the ruby caught on the skin and broke it. Blood drippled into the water. I clenched my other hand on the rings and pressed my lips together.

“Hey,” Julian called softly and moved to kneel in front of me. He took my hand into his and examined the finger. “Ay, it’s going to leave a scar.”

“Great,” I choked out. When did I start to cry? “One more thing to remind me of this mess.”

“Maybe if you heal it…? Can you? I… I can only dress it,” he said quietly, as if ashamed of not having the magic gift anymore.

I frowned and shook my head. He was so silly sometimes. “I’m not good at it, Asra is.” I sniffled and wiped my nose with the back of my hand. “Doesn’t matter. I couldn’t focus enough to even summon a light right now.”

“Alright,” he nodded and got up. He carefully stepped out on the wet floor and wrapped himself in a towel. “I’ll be back in a minute.” He went out to the bedroom and returned with a little bag.

“What is it?”

“My first aid kit,” he explained and perched on the edge of the tub. “Give me your hand, please.”

I did but withdrew it in a second. Julian frowned. “Something’s wrong?”

“No. It’s just… I should take this bathrobe first. Or the bandage will get wet when I’ll be taking it off.”

“Oh. Right. Um… Alright, let me…” He stood up and held out his hand to me.

I pulled myself up as gracefully as I could in my state and soaked robe, and took Julian’s hand for purchase. He offered me a dry towel and looked away modestly when I changed. We sat by the mirror, Julian unpacked his bag.

“May I?” he asked. I gave him my hand. “It may sting,” he warned me before he poured some alcohol over my hurt finger.

I frowned but more because of the smell of alcohol. “It’s just a scratch.”

“Scratches don’t bleed like this. You pulled the ring off pretty roughly.”

“I needed it off.”

He nodded and unwrapped a roll of fresh bandage. His own wedding ring was lying on the counter under the mirror. I didn’t notice when Julian took it off. But I watched him closely dress the scratch. I loved how gentle he was. He was hardly causing me any pain.

"Do you… like it, at least? The ring…?"

I took a steady breath. "_Julian_," I said quietly, a warning in my voice.

He shook his head and snorted nervously. "Yes, right, forget it. I’m sorry, I don’t know why I asked."

“Nevermind,” I finished the subject.

But I did like the ring. It was… just the way I liked. I even gave it stealthily one longer look before I buried it in a pocket inside my bag later that morning when we were getting ready to go. We took our bags and went to the reception. Julian returned the key and paid to the obliviously smiling receptionist. This stay cost us a small fortune but it wasn’t even three quarters of what Nadia provided us with, just like Julian said.

“Do you know where we should start?” I asked when we stepped out into the chilly air. “Because I could find the way to the baker at best.”

“I think I remember where the bar by the river was,” Julian said.

I turned curiously to him. “A bar? Why?”

He smirked. “Bartenders know _everything_, believe me. Barth from the Raven helped me countless times retrace the course of events after nights like this.”

“Hm, a witness of Doctor Devorak’s excesses. I bet he could tell more interesting stories than you.”

“Oh, you’re a cruel one, sweet [name].”

“No, don’t get me wrong. I’m so lucky to have a specialist of hungover amnesias here with me now.”

“I’m a man of many talents,” he admitted humbly.

He led us through the city to said bar surprisingly quickly and almost without mistakes. Soon, we found a building that looked as if it was made of many small annexes. On the shore by the river, there was wooden patio with benches and tables, now empty. From inside, though, we could hear chatter and laughter despite so early hour. We went in. Everyone turned towards us. And grinned.

“The newlyweds!” they cheered.

My mouth fell open. Julian turned red.

“See?” he choked out to me. “I told you. They know everything in bars.”

“Yeah, great,” I mumbled. “Do we pick one person to talk to or we will just throw the questions at everyone in general?”

“Whatever you like.”

I gave him a look. “Let’s just ask everyone in general,” I said, making sure my voice was dripping with sarcasm.

“Alright.” He cleared his throat and raised a hand. “Ekhm… May I have your at-…?”

I grabbed his hand and pulled it down. “Dammit, Julian, what the fuck?” I whispered to him through gritted teeth.

“What?” he was sincerely surprised.

I pulled him towards the bar. The bartender was already waiting for us.

“Well, well, well. The Devoraks back so soon,” he greeted us.

I huffed but didn’t say anything. At least he spoke a language I knew.

“Yes, um… Hello,” Julian answered awkwardly. “We have a few questions, if you don’t mind.”

The bartender grunted. “Blank spots, huh?”

“I’m afraid so.”

“Very well. What do you want to know?”

Julian exchanged a look with me. “Um… Perhaps we mentioned… from where we were coming?”

“Vesuvia.”

“No- I mean yes, we are from Vesuvia but I mean… Where were we before we came here?”

The bartender barked out a laughter. “This much time you had fun last night, you say! Good to know that young people these days still know how to party.”

“Sir?”

“Yeah, yeah, I know where you were. It was obvious. You were in Sant Constant’s chapel. You got married there.”

“Yes, right,” Julian mumbled, red from embarrassment. “And do you… could you…?”

“Cross the bridge, turn left, then right. The chapel is in the middle of the square.”

“Thank you. Thank you so much,” Julian said quickly, bowing, grabbing my hand and pulling me out of the bar as the bartender watched us, shaking his head and giggling.

We ran as fast as we could once we found out where laid the beginning and, hopefully, end of our troubles. The chapel was easy to find – an ancient stone building standing in the middle of a main square. We burst inside through heavy, ebony door, praying for a resolution.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: The Nanny


	5. The Nanny

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Damn, it grew big...

We were silent the whole way back to Vesuvia. Even Julian didn’t say a word, which disturbed me so much more than I thought it would. Because if even _ he _ was quiet and worried, then we must had stepped in some really deep shit. And I wasn't ready to acknowledge it. 

"Please, say something," I heard myself say.

Julian hesitated, for a long while. Then, he turned to me with a miserable look. One more moment later, he offered me a terrifying parody of a smile. "Um…" he uttered. 

I decided not to bother him any further. "That's enough. Thank you."

We were almost there. It wasn't a soothing thought. 

The same guards which saw us out were waiting to greet us. 

"The Countess and magician Asra are waiting for you in the dining room," they informed us after we dismounted our horses. 

Oh right, _ Asra _. I completely forgot to worry about his reaction to this little fuck up of ours. Judging by the shiver that shook Julian, he'd just remembered to be scared, too. All blood drained from his face. He looked sick, and I had no idea what to do. Should I say something? Not say anything? Touch him? Stay away? Why was I so concerned with this all of the sudden?? 

We made our way to the dining room. Our steps echoed strangely loud in the empty corridors, distressing me more and more with each passing second. 

I screamed when Asra bumped into me when we turned around the corner. 

"[name]!" he exclaimed and pulled me into a firm hug. He sighed. "Finally. You haven’t contacted me for days, I was worried sick! How are you? Everything alright? Have you found Lucio?"

I was so shocked and stressed that somehow I lied without even thinking about it. "Oh, no, you know, he outrun us," I said in a light voice. Was it always so high…? "We found nothing, sadly. Ugh, such a waste of time."

I don't know where I made a mistake, but Asra's smile tensed and his eyes changed. He turned to Julian, and my stomach twisted with fear. "Really?"

Julian nodded. Smart move.

Asra narrowed his eyes at him. "Have you… looked for him at all?"

Julian froze and his face went ashen white but his voice was steady when he answered truthfully: "Yes."

Yes, that was true. We did look for Lucio. For a few hours but yes, we did.

But our triumph didn't last long.

"Alright…" Asra said slowly. "Nadia is already waiting inside with tea. Let's join her and exchange what we found out. You must be exhausted."

We agreed, and Asra took my hand in his and brushed his thumb over my knuckles. 

"Ay!" I squeaked before I stopped myself. 

"What? What did I do?" Asra got scared. "Are you hurt? Why didn’t you tell me? Let me see your hand." 

"No, Asra, don’t worry, it's nothing. Just a scratch," I mumbled in panic but it was for nothing. Asra was already removing my glove. I peeked at Julian. He looked like he was about to either faint or run. I caught his wide-eyed gaze of a startled doe and frowned, sanding a simple, polite message: _ If you have any sense left in that pretty head of yours, you'd better faint than leave me now. _

I think he got it. He took a shaky breath and didn't move an inch. 

Meanwhile, Asra was unwrapping my finger. I cleared my throat - a nervous gesture I already managed to adopt from Julian, god damn it. "See?" I said cheerfully. "Just a scratch." 

"Yes, I see. How did you got it?"

"Um… I… It's a funny story," I said, thinking furiously on a lie. Suddenly it wasn't so easy. "I fell on a rose bush-"

"A bird attacked her," Julian blurted out at the same time. 

My blood ran cold. I shot Julian a betrayed look. He went even paler, then laughed. 

"Oh, haha. Just kidding…" 

But it was too late - Asra was already activating his sixth sense. I could literally feel his intuition search me, like the softest brush of warm air. Next to me, Julian moved uneasily. I bet he felt it, too.

"_ Oh shit _," I cursed quietly. We were fucked. 

Asra narrowed his eyes at me. "What's in your bag?"

Well, great. 

He turned to Julian and scanned him up and down. "What's in _ your _bag?" 

We were _ so _ fucked.

"It's not what you think," Julian blurted out the worst possible thing.

"_ Shut up _!" I growled at him through the gritted teeth of my mind. 

Asra gave him an ice-cold look, then turned to me. "Why are there…" He stared at my bag. I bet he saw through it. I put my hand on it as if it could help. Asra blinked surprised. "_ …wedding rings _ in your bags?"

_ Shit _. "It… This… I mean…" I panicked. "It really is not what you think," I blurted out dumbly just like Julian. I tried to smile confidently to make up for it. I failed. 

Asra frowned. He glared at Julian. "What's going on?" His voice was quiet and calm. It scared the shit out of me. I started to sweat. 

Julian swallowed loudly. He straightened up stiffly. "I can explain," he said, his strangled voice barely a whisper. 

"I'm all ears," Asra assured him.

"We… We…" he stammered. 

"Wee-wee? Is a fire brigade involved? What the fuck happened, Ilya? Spit it out!" he was positively yelling now.

"We got drunk," Julian uttered finally, a flush creeping up his neck. 

"And?" Asra pushed. 

"And high," I added reluctantly. 

He gave me an incredulous look. "High? _ And _ drunk? [name]…"

"How could I know?" I whined but Asra raised his hand and pinched the bridge of his nose. 

"And? I'm afraid I know where this is going but I just can't believe it, so please, tell me what have you two done."

"We got married," Julian and I said simultaneously. We looked at each other and burst out laughing. But then we saw Asra's face and the laughter died on our lips.

"And?" he wanted to know.

"And…?" I hoped I didn't understand but Asra raised an eyebrow, so I knew he already knew. I nodded, looking away. 

"I thought so." Asra took a step towards Julian and grabbed the collar of his coat before he ran away. "Excuse us for a moment?" he asked me sweetly but didn't wait for my answer. He just pulled Julian towards an empty room, pushed him inside and shut the door. At first, I could hear only Julian's humble whisper and Asra's hushed, angry voice. Soon, however, Asra was the only one I heard. And he was yelling. 

"...how dare you?! _How _dare you lay your hands on her! I just can’t believe- After all of this! After all I've done - _we _have done! - to help you, you get a chance and go and fuck [name]!" I swallow hard and feel heat spread on my throat and cheeks. "Haven’t you got enough? Why- Did you have to- Oh gods! I wouldn't be even half this furious if you only fucked her! But you fucking _married _her! You’re insane! How did you _dare_ marry [name]! I can't believe it! You’re _sick_!"

Then, he burst out and stomped to the dining room. Julian emerged a moment after him, looking utterly shocked and embarrassed. It made me feel a sting of pity, and I took a step towards him, not really sure what I wanted to do.

"_ No _ ," Asra snapped at us, making me jump away from Julian. "Both of you." He gave me a hard look. "Do not touch each other, don’t look at each other, don’t even _ think _about each other, because I'll notice and won't take it any longer." 

I took another step back. "Sorry," I mumbled awkwardly. 

He opened and held the door. "Inside. Both of you."

I did as he said. Julian followed me, keeping a reasonable distance of a few metres. I could sense Asra’s rage and Julian’s fear and shame at the same time, and I couldn’t decide which one I should soothe without hurting the other. I felt lost and alone, abandoned between them.

Nadia greeted us with a smile. "Well, hello, hello, [name], Julian. Or should I say Mrs and Mr Devorak?"

"How do you-"

I rolled my eyes. "Oh please, Julian. Asra yelled on the top of his lungs. Everybody knows and if they don't, they'll read about it in tomorrow's newspaper."

"Oh no," he gasped. "I have to leave."

"Count me in. I'm already packed."

"None of you is going anywhere," Asra growled at us. "Sit down and tell us how the bloody hell it happened."

"Yes, yes, do have a seat," Nadia asked us in a much more pleasant tone. "The tea is served, help yourselves. You must be tired after the long way…"

"Yes, thank you," we mumbled like scolded children.

"...and such an eventful trip," she finished with a cat-like smirk. She was having so much fun. Bitch. "I just can't wait to hear everything. Sit, sit, do tell us the story."

"Yeah," Asra backed her up, his voice low and dark. He ostentatiously took a seat next to me, the one Julian intended to take. Poor darling had to sit across from us, right under fire of Asra's glare. "Do tell."

There was an extremely uncomfortable and long pause before I managed to find my voice. 

"So," I said, drawing the attention to me. I burnt under the scrutiny of Nadia's amused, Asra’s cold and Julian's terrified gaze. "Long story short, we got married."

Julian closed his eyes. Asra huffed. Nadia bit her smiling lip and blinked as if to stop tears.

I cleared my throat. "And it turned out that we did it in one of those ultraconservative churches."

Asra's eyes narrowed. Nadia moved in his seat, waiting impatiently for the punchline.

I sighed. "And it doesn't accept annulations or divorces," I finished, burning with shame.

Nadia laughed and clapped with joy like a little girl. Asra didn't do anything, but I felt very clearly his aura go cold and dark like a winter day.

"One of us would just have to die," I attempted a joke, half trying to piss off Asra, whose attitude was getting on my nerves, half I don't know what. I don't know in which realm it would be funny.

So, yes, nobody laughed. I only made Asra turn to Julian and look at him expectantly.

Julian's eye went wide and his face turned white. He pressed his back to the chair as if to increase the distance between them. "Don't look at me like this. I can't die, I tried," he uttered weakly. 

"Third time's a charm," Asra said coldly. 

"Asra!" I hissed at him.

He moved slightly and stopped staring at Julian like a snake at a mouse. Julian took his cup, his motions stiff, his hand shaking.

"So this is the whole story," I summed up, struggling to smile. I think I was losing my mind. "Plus... I think I'm pregnant." 

Julian choked on his tea. Asra slammed his fist on the table and again stared at Julian. Nadia covered her mouth with her hand and her shoulders trembled. The temperature fell. The wind whistled. A crow screamed three times.

This was not a good idea. 

"Wow, I'm just kidding, sorry..."

"Oh my god…" Julian half-sighed, half-groaned, throwing his head back and rubbing his face with his hands. 

"[name], what the…" Asra stared at me wide-eyed.

An unladylike snort escaped from Nadia. We shared a quick look. 

"It wasn't funny," Julian choked out.

"No, not at all," Asra backed him up.

"Alright, _ sorry. _I'm not pregnant, I'm not."

Julian slumped in his chair. He propped his elbows on the table and hid his face in his hands. Asra kept staring at him, evidently trying his best to annihilate Julian with his gaze only. Or, knowing Asra, he was struggling not to, because I bet he could. Still, he was overreacting, and I hated it. It made me want to tease him.

"Or am I…?" 

Cups clicked when Julian slammed his hand on the table. "I want a divorce," he announced.

"Why? Does she lack anything? Is it a joke to you?!" Asra burst.

"Oh my god, I'm kidding! I was just trying to relieve the tension. And you can't divorce me, Julian" I pointed out. "You'd have to kill me to get free."

"Try," Asra said, his voice low, dark. "I dare you."

"No, please, no more dares," Julian answered quietly, looking very tired. 

"And you" I stabbed Asra in the shoulder with a finger. "stop bullying him! It’s not only his fault." 

"Oh, I'm angry with you, too, don’t you worry, sweetheart," he hissed at me.

Right then, Portia entered hastily with a tray with fresh tea and cookies. "Good evening, milady, I've just heard the best gossip of the year- Oooh!" She eyed us mischievously. She bit her lip. "I see the whole gang is here. What's the occasion?" she asked coyly.

Nadia managed to stop smiling in a silly way for a split second. She wiped a tear from a corner of her eye with the tip of her finger. "Portia, please have a seat, have a tea with us and meet your new sister-in-law."

Portia’s eyes went ridiculously wide. She stared at me, stared at Julian, a laughter blooming in her throat. She snorted, then burst out laughing. She laughed for a long, long time.

I guess we deserved it. But it still felt shitty.

Portia wiped the tears from her eyes. "I'm so sorry, milady…" she sobbed.

"Don't worry, dear Portia. Let it all out. Asra and I already have."

"No, I'm just getting started," Asra murmured, still staring daggers at Julian.

"And I'm done," I announced, feeling already angry and tired with all this fussing and taunting. "Thank you for the tea, Nadia. It was nice to see you, Portia," I said, getting up and gathering my things. "I'll see you later, Julian." I touched his shoulder as I passed him, partly to show him a little support, partly to piss off Asra some more. I wasn’t sure how the first one worked but the air definitely did tremble with a wave of Asra's rage.

"Good idea, let’s go home," he said suddenly. He got up and gathered his things before I even reached the door. 

"Sorry?" I froze with my hand on the doorknob. It wasn't good.

"Let's go home," Asra repeated with patience and composure of an iceberg. He kept looking me in the eye, and looking back felt like staring at a carriage rushing straight at you. 

"Y-you can stay. And chat. Or whatever. I can… Oh, alright…" I mumbled until he wrapped an arm around my shoulders like a snake. But Faust's scales were never this cool and terrifying. 

"We'll see you tomorrow morning, Nadia, Portia," he nodded at them. He threw Julian a blank, cold look. "Goodnight, Ilya."

It sounded like a threat. Julian paled, holding his gaze. Then, his eye turned to me, and Asra pushed me out the door.

"I really think you're-" I wanted to defend myself. 

"Hush, [name]," Asra cut me off. Gently but definitely. 

So, I shut up for the rest of the way. I felt that no matter what I'd say, it wouldn't change the situation. Facts were facts and Asra was furious. We just needed time. Time heals all. Doesn't it? 

We took a carriage home. We sat on opposite ends of the bench. We didn’t speak, we didn’t look at each other, and it made me feel terribly lonely, like never before. Yes, I fucked up my task and got into some trouble but… Did it mean that… That Asra had the reason, the _ right _to treat me like… this?

Tears filled my eyes and ran down my face before I stopped them. I realised that what I felt to Julian right now, was solidarity. Something I had never imagined I would have with him. But now, we were alone in this. Portia and Nadia thought it was hilarious, Asra acted like it was a disaster, so either way, it was the two of us stuck in this together. I realised that when Asra ranted at me a second after the door shut behind us in the shop.

He looked me in the eye and backed me to the counter until it dug into my back. He spoke quietly but I trembled with every word. "I _ did _ tell you, [name], _ precisely _ , _ repeatedly _ , to be careful with him. I told you not to trust him, to stay away, and you did the exact opposite! I'm so disappointed with you. I thought better of you. How could you be so irresponsible to let something like _ this _happen?"

I stared at him with my mouth open in shock. My heart pounded unpleasantly, and hurt bloomed in my chest like a bloody wound. I felt hot and dizzy with adrenaline. "Wha- Excuse me? I must be on a wrong page because the last time I checked, I haven’t done anything that horrible to deserve such words."

"I told you very clearly what I thought about him and you – you slept with him! You slept with _ Ilya _ and" He laughed mirthlessly. " _ married _ him! Oh gods, I can't believe I actually say those words. _ You married Ilya _ . Fuck, it sounds like a bad joke. Is it a joke, [name]? Please, I’m begging you, tell me it's just a prank and I'll congratulate you two on a marvellous performance, because _ fuck _, you got me!"

I looked away, feeling my eyes fill with tears once again. "No, it's not a joke." 

"Then the two of you must be…Ugh!" he groaned, then sighed heavily. "I just can't believe it, [name]. I thought… I warned you. I told you he was no good."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "Yes, _ mum _, I know."

"Then why are you acting like nothing happened? Have you got no consideration at all for your own safety?"

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn’t know I wasn’t allowed to choose my own friends." 

"Seriously, [name]? Friends? Would I be this angry if you just befriended him?"

"What does it matter?!" I exploded and took a step towards him, even though Asra didn’t move an inch. "It’s my life, my choices. You can't choose for me or protect me from the whole wrong in the world."

"I just wanted you to stay away from _ him _ ! Only _ him _. Is it so hard to understand?”

"Why? He can't be more fucked up than you are."

A shadow of hurt passed over his features. "You don't know him like I do," he said quietly. 

"Oh sure," I exclaimed mockingly. "And apparently, you don’t know me like you think you do either!"

"He will hurt you, [name]. I don't want this." 

"I can take care of myself." 

"Yes, I see. By letting this bastard marry you." 

I stabbed him in the chest with a finger. "Do not speak of Julian like that."

"Oh! _ Julian. _And what happened to 'doctor Devorak', huh?"

"It really is none of your business, Asra."

That was it. I walked past him and opened the door. Asra called after me but I ignored him and shut it behind me as hard as I could. I headed fast to the only place that could drown out my raging emotions, the ice-cold cold hurt and burning anger. And I hoped for the only person I wanted to see right now to be there, too.

I pushed the door to the Raven open and looked around, my pulse rushing with hope. It was still too early for crowds, so I quickly noticed the auburn head. Julian was sitting in a far booth, bent over an untouched drink. He looked crestfallen, propping his chin on his palm and staring sadly at the table. He was tracing the scratches in the old wood with his fingers. The door shut, and my heart skipped a beat when he looked up and caught my gaze. His face changed immediately, brightened. He stood up and smiled sheepishly when he saw me come up to him. 

"[name], hello. What a surprise to see…" He frowned with concern, seeing me closer. "[name]? Are you-? What happened?" 

I followed my instinct and just wrapped my arms around his neck. I burst out crying a second before I pressed my forehead to his shoulder. He touched my back, very gently, tentatively at first, but a moment later he was holding me tight, pressing a kiss to my temple. 

"Shh, it's alright. I've got you. Don’t cry, it's going to be okay, you'll see, my-" he cut himself off and cleared his throat, hugging me tighter and hiding his face in my hair. When I calmed down a bit, he moved an inch away and pushed me gently into the booth. "Come on, let’s have a seat. Let me take your coat, alright? Would you like anything? No? Nothing to drink?" 

I sat down on the bench and wiped my cheeks with my hands, taking a shaky breath. "Could you just… just hold me. For a minute. Sorry, I just… It’s just..." 

He stared at me as I mumbled awkwardly but he recovered quickly. "Y-yes, yes. Of course. Absolutely. Come here." He opened his arms and pulled me into a hug.

It broke me a little – how good he was to me. I put my head on his shoulder, still sniffling and crying quietly, and he embraced me, pressed me to his chest and kissed the top of my head. I sighed at how warm he was, how his smell was already so familiar to me. He scooped my legs up and put them on his lap. The audacity of his… But to my surprise, I welcomed it and soon, I relaxed. Julian was stroking my arm and thigh, slowly, firmly. It was perfect, exactly what I needed.

"Are you alright?" he whispered into my hair after I’d been quiet for a minute. 

I shook my head. "Asra…" My throat clenched. "Asra’s furious." 

Julian sighed. "Yes, I noticed – with me."

"No, no, with me, too," I whined, tears choking me. 

"With you? But you didn't do anything wrong!" 

"Neither have you! But he's so angry. He's never been this angry with me. I- I don't know what to do. How am I supposed live with him now? How am I supposed to sleep in one bed with him? I don't want to go back home, Julian. I can’t. But I- I don't know… I'm scared." 

Julian hugged me tighter. "No, no, darling, don’t cry. Don't worry. It's alright. He… He cares for you, that's it. He loves you and wants you to be happy."

"And why did he assume that I wasn’t?" I grumbled, angrily wiping the tears away from my eyes. 

He didn't answer right away. He played with the stitching of my sleeve. I felt him swallow hard before he spoke. "He just wants the best for you."

It sounded like something old Julian would say. I pushed myself away from him and gave him a sour look. "Don't be so rough on yourself." 

He looked at me, searching, then his lips curled into a sad smile. He sighed and gazed away, down on my hands on my lap. He took them in his and absentmindedly traced the lines on my palm with his fingers as if to read them. A small shiver ran through me at the gentle touch. It was sweet. It was soothing. I sighed quietly and leaned on his shoulder, and he put his cheek on the top of my head. It was good. I just wished he could take the gloves off. 

"Aren't you drinking?" I pointed to the full glass.

He shook his head. "Nah… I don't feel like it. I- Oh, what the hell, I don't want to lie to you. I'm scared," he confessed with a shrug and a crooked smile.

"After what happened on the trip?"

Julian smiled pensively. "Actually... no. No, I don't regret anything that happened. Compared to troubles I've been in, this hardly qualifies as one of them."

It took me by surprise. My heart fluttered warmly, and I couldn't stop the smile that spread on my lips. I peeked at Julian and the lovely bastard was smiling smugly. I decided to turn a blind eye to it this time. 

"To be honest," he continued. "I don't want to get drunk because… Because I'm afraid of Asra. I'm scared he'll hunt me down and flay me alive or… bite my head off. Or make Faust strangle me. Or everything at once."

"He won't do anything like this to you," I assured him. "Though I'm sure he wishes he could." 

"Oh yeah, of course," he laughed with exaggeration. "Have you seen the way he looked at me? With his scowl alone he made me regret I was born. He made me walk here with my back against walls, I'm not joking!" he added when I chuckled. "He made me look over my shoulder like crazy, I almost broke my neck. And do you know how difficult it is to watch your back with only one eye? I got a squint." He raised the eyepatch for a second, presenting said squint to me. I laughed, taken by surprise. The sweet jerk smiled so proudly and prettily my heart melted. "Seriously, I wasn’t this jittery even when I was wanted."

Actually, both of us jumped like startled bunnies when the band played a few false notes to warm up. Julian and I looked at each other and laughed nervously.

Julian cleared his throat. What was he nervous about right now? "I should… I should probably walk you home," he said. 

I frowned. "I meant what I said. I'm not coming back home tonight. I can’t. I won't stand him."

"He's probably already worried sick. And I'm sure he'll go looking for you soon. I'd rather he doesn't find us together. Um, no offence."

"None taken. Both of us got an earful today. But I don't care. He said terrible things to me and to you. I won't come back tonight." 

"Where should I take you, then? The palace?" 

"So Nadia and Portia can laugh at us a little bit more? No, thank you." 

"Yes, right."

We were silent for a while. We both knew what was left but no one dared to say it.

Eventually, I mustered all the insolence I had and asked: "Can I sleep at your place?" 

I bet he was expecting this question but still, he wasn't prepared. He blushed so quickly I got scared he'd faint. "Oh god, um, _ yes _ , I- I mean, yeah… If you want to, then- I don't mean _ I _ don't want to. I do, very much, I just- And I'm not coaxing you, absolutely not, it's your choice, so, so, if you want to, then, you, _ always _-"

"Julian," I cut him off gently, grabbing one of his wildly gesticulating hands in mine. He gave me an embarrassed look. "The 'yes' was enough." 

"Sorry." He cleared his throat again and ran his fingers through his hair. "Yes. Of course. You’re… always welcome." 

I squeezed his hand, earning a smile from him. "Thank you." 

"My pleasure."

"Shall we, then?" 

"Yes, yes, absolutely."

He scrambled to his feet, barely giving me time to take my legs off of his lap. He helped me put on my coat, like a gentleman he was, then put on his and led me outside with a hand on my back, high, between my shoulderblades. Like a friend. It saddened me strangely but I shook it off.

We went outside, into the chilly night. I shivered and put my arms around me. 

"Are you cold?" Julian asked, looking around. 

"No, I'm fine, thank you." 

"Mhm. Hm? Are you cold?" he repeated, still looking everywhere but at me.

"Julian," I called him softly and touched his shoulder. Only then did he turn to me. "Don't worry so much. He's not lurking anywhere here, trust me." 

Julian seemed doubtful for a second, then he nodded. "You'd know, wouldn't you?"

_ You'll be alright. Asra won’t hurt you. I won't let him… _ Such thoughts rushed through my head but I decided not to voice any of them. I just smiled comfortingly. "Sure I would. Let's go. I bet you're tired, too."

"Yes, a bit. This way. It's not far. Five minutes."

“I admit I was curious where you live.”

“It’s nothing special. A little bit neglected, I’m afraid. I was gone, you know, for a while.”

“That’s alright. Don’t worry.” _ I would stay literally anywhere as long as it would be with you. _

What the hell was I thinking?

“[name]?!” A familiar voice called me, making us jump. Quick, angry steps, just behind the corner, echoed in the empty alley.

Julian was right.

We exchanged a wide-eyed look, then we grabbed each other’s hands and sprinted away from the Raven. As soon as we gained some distance, I giggled breathlessly, and Julian did too. A few minutes later, just like he said, we reached a neglected building indeed. It seemed abandoned – windows on the ground floor were blinded and dusty, the walls darkened and the plaster was peeling off.

“Where are we?” I asked, catching my breath. I looked up at the first floor. A window was open.

“It’s… um, it _ was _ my clinic. Before.”

I nodded, and he led me behind it, to the back door. He fished out a key from his pocket and let me inside with a deep bow.

“Ladies first.”

I rolled my eyes but didn’t stop a smile. I stepped inside. In the darkness, I saw an outline of a staircase. I smelled dust.

Julian put his hand on my shoulder. “I live upstairs. Here, I… I haven’t seen to it yet. Sorry, there’s no light yet, too, and…”

I conjured an orb of light without moving a finger.

He blinked in sudden light, then laughed. “Show-off," he murmured under his breath, then bowed again. “After you, my lady.”

I curtsied and we walked up the narrow stairs. Julian was right behind me. It made my blood hum like sparkling wine. I peeked at him over my shoulder.

He smiled. “I’m right here.”

Upstairs, there was a small hall with a simple hanger. On the right, there was a kitchen with basic furnishing, and on the left, a living space. Julian took my coat, I toed off my shoes, and we entered to the left. Under the open window overlooking the street, stood large, old desk overloaded with books and piles of paper. On the opposite wall, there was a fireplace and an orderly stash of wood. A worn but comfy looking armchair faced it. On the far end of the room, behind a divider, I saw a large wardrobe and a double bed. Maybe it wasn’t as big as the one in the hotel but definitely appropriate for Julian's height. In opposition to the space downstairs, here, it was very clean. It smelled like fresh sheets and coffee. I liked it.

Julian walked past me and started to light up candles placed haphazardly all over the room. "Just a minute… Let me just…" he mumbled. 

He seemed so nervous... To help him, I located a few candles, closed my eyes to focus and with almost no effort, I lit them up. Plus, I made the fireplace burst with hellfire. I yelped and Julian jumped away from it. He gave me an incredulous look. 

I covered my mouth with my hand. "Sorry. I guess I'm stressed out."

He shook his head and smiled. He spread his arms. "Well, that's it. It’s not much but please, don't burn it down."

"Since you've asked so nicely." I walked in, looked around. "You can take off the eyepatch. If you want."

"Oh. Right." He touched it tentatively. "You really don't mind…?" 

I shook my head.

"Alright… Um, thank you."

"Sure."

"Would you… like something to drink? I'm afraid I don't have any tea but…"

"It's alright. I don't need anything. I'm just tired."

"Alright." He looked away and touched his hair. He didn't take the eyepatch off. And was he blushing again? "So, um… Yes. You, I think, take the bed, of course, and I'll just…"

"Come on, Julian, I think we can just _ sleep _ in one bed, can't we? It’s big enough for both of us."

"Yeah, sure. Well, ekhm, if you don’t mind…?"

"I don't." 

"Okay. Just so you know, I might have problems falling asleep. So if you're alright with me tossing and turning for hours, then yes, okay."

"It's not that difficult to fall asleep, you know? It should be especially easy for you."

"Oh really? How come I didn't come up with it for all these years?"

"Right? Listen. You just have to lie down…" I demonstrated, throwing myself on the bed.

Julian smiled, amused, walking slowly towards it. "Okay." 

"Breathe evenly…" I showed how.

"Yes." He stopped by the headboard, looking strangely at me. Kind of… fondly.

"And not think. This should be the easiest. You’re a natural."

Julian barked out a laughter. "You mean witch. In my own house!" He sighed. "Do you… Would you like to change? To bed?"

"Yes, please, my clothes smell like horse."

"Everything a man wishes for." 

I sat up to give him a look but he turned away to rummage through the wardrobe.

"I'm afraid one of my shirts is all I can offer you," he said apologetically, his smirk all gone. 

"That's alright. I don't mind."

I slept in Asra's clothes all the time, I wore some of those on a daily basis, and he wore mine. To me, there was nothing odd about it. But wearing Julian's clothes… Oh, I was going to have a hard time falling asleep myself. 

Julian returned to me, scrutinising a shirt in his outstretched arms. "It's… long. It should… you know. Fit?"

"Such a gentleman," I murmured, taking it from him. I gave him a sweet smile. "Cover my ass, you mean."

Julian laughed. He quirked an eyebrow. "Not that I'd mind if it wouldn't."

I huffed, though I couldn't stop smiling, and walked up to the divider. I pulled one wing and looked over my shoulder before I hid behind it. Julian kept standing, staring at me. I shooed him, and he looked away, suddenly shy, and went out of the bedroom. I undressed, strangely nervous to be naked with Julian behind merely a canvas wall. I quickly put on his shirt. It covered me down to the middle of my thighs. It'll have to do.

I walked slowly from behind the divider. I put my clothes on a chest at the foot of the bed. I smoothed them. I put my hair behind my ears. I looked towards the living room and found Julian at his desk, pretending to be arranging the papers.

"Julian?" I called him softly. He started as if I yelled. "Are you coming to bed?" 

He eyed me quickly, then stared at a notebook packed with loose papers he was holding. "Yes, just… Don’t wait for me, I'm… not sleepy yet. I think I'll browse this mess."

"Are you sure?" 

He gave me a kind smile. "Yes. Go to sleep. I’ll join you soon."

I nodded. "Goodnight, then." 

"Goodnight, [name]." 

I pushed the divider to block out some light from the living room and put out the candles by the bed. Lying down, I wondered. I felt equally relieved and disappointed that Julian wouldn't lie with me. But I didn't have much time to worry about it. The moment I made myself comfortable, all the stress and fatigue caught up with my mind and body, and I drifted off within minutes, lulled by the gentle rustle of Julian's papers.

***

I woke up some time later, with a start - the rustling suddenly stopped. But it was pitch black, and I more sensed than saw Julian’s still form on the other end of the bed. I reached out (he lied so far away from me) and noticed that he wasn’t even under the duvet with me – he was lying on top of it, curled under a blanket that was surely too short for him. Why? It wasn't necessary. I rose on my elbow and with a little help of my magic, I pulled the duvet gently from underneath him and covered him with it. He didn't wake up, just sighed. I watched him relax in the warmth, my warmth, thinking. After a moment, I decided that maybe he really needed a little help with dealing with Asra.

Carefully, I moved closer to him and brushed his hair off of his face. With my ring finger, I drew the symbol for protection on his forehead and murmured the spell. Then, after a second of hesitation, I sealed it with a kiss. It worked better this way. The sigil shone and disappeared, and Julian inhaled sharply and turned towards me.

“[name]?” he murmured sleepily, them mumbled something I didn't quite get.

“It’s alright. Go back to sleep,” I whispered and touched his hand.

He took mine and brought it to his lips. He said something more, quietly, unintelligibly, then fell back asleep. I lied down and, still holding his hand, I slept a moment later, too.

***

Early in the morning, we were woken up by pounding on the door downstairs. I had no doubts as to who it was.

"Oh no, it's Asra," I murmured sleepily and rubbed my eyes.

Julian sat up, his arm brushing against mine. He was fully awake. "I'll take care of this," he said and squeezed my hand before he jumped out of the bed. 

My stomach twisted with stress. "Are you sure?"

He winked at me. "Don't worry."

I watched him go downstairs. Interesting. Perhaps the spell worked better than I thought. But Asra was under no spell, so I got up, too, and started to dress up, my heart hammering in alarm. I heard the door open and I braced myself for yells and swearing. I held my breath. Rooted to the spot, I strained to understand their hushed voices, but then, so soon, the door closed. Julian was walking upstairs.

He saw me half dressed and frowned with confusion. "Is something wrong?" 

"No. No, I mean, I thought…" I stammered, confused. I shook my head. "Nevermind. What did he say? What is it?" I pointed to the small package he was holding. 

He gave it to me. "He brought you clean clothes."

"Oh." My eyes went wide. "Oh. That's… surprisingly nice of him." I unpacked it and found inside a pair of my woolen stockings and a warm dress. How thoughtful. "And that's it? Didn't he say anything?"

Julian rubbed his neck nervously. It couldn’t be good. "He's waiting downstairs in a carriage to take us to the palace. To go on with the investigation." 

My blood ran cold. "The three of us? In one carriage?" 

Julian swallowed. He didn't seem so sure of himself anymore. But what else could we do? We freshened up and joined Asra in the carriage.

The ride was… quiet. Asra sat in the middle of the bench, giving us no other choice but to sit separately on his sides. He kept staring at a far point in front of him and didn’t say a word. Somewhere halfway to the palace, I peeked at Julian, and he caught my gaze, but Asra immediately, as if waiting for it, shot as an ice-cold, absolutely scandalised glare - first Julian, then me. After this, we didn’t dare look at each other for the rest of the way.

On site, last preparations to the masquerade were in full swing. We made our way to the Countess' dining room once again. Inside, Nadia and Portia were already waiting. They looked up at us from papers they were studying with suspiciously straight faces. 

"Please, do come in," Nadia greeted us. "Welcome Asra." She nodded at him, then looked at Julian and me. Her lips trembled almost imperceptibly. "Mr and Mrs Devorak." 

Portia gave up and snorted. Julian sighed miserably. Asra bristled.

"Great joke. Still so funny," I commented bitterly.

"Oh, don’t mind us," Nadia waved her hand elegantly. "Do sit down. Portia and I were just, um…" She exchanged looks with her partner in being mean bitches.

"Stopping Lucio?" I guessed, hoping for a change of subject. 

"Oh! That too. But we also thought that the masquerade would be a perfect occasion to celebrate the recent union of our dear-"

"No," Asra cut her off. "It would not." 

Nadia cleared her throat discreetly. "Very well then. Let's move on straight to…" She went through the papers on the table, looking for a specific one, and I breathed with relief. Nadia made a triumphant sound when she found what she looked for. "To the baptism party of your first child."

"No!" the three of us protested with varying level of annoyance and/or despair in our voices.

"But you said you were pregnant," Portia noticed. 

"I was joking!" I exclaimed, tears of helplessness already welling in my eyes. I almost stomped. 

"Oh! Forgive us the misunderstanding," Nadia apologised, her voice gentle, putting a hand on Portia’s shoulder. They shared a look. "The wedding was a joke, too, then?"

My lip trembled. 

"That's it. Let's go, [name]," Julian said, stepping back, touching my elbow behind Asra's back.

I felt relieved, but only for a second.

"_ Don't _!" Asra snapped at him.

"Ilya, wait," Portia asked and added something in their mother tongue.

Julian in turn snapped at her, and they argued until Portia murmured something that made Nadia snort, her noble mouth hid behind the fucking plans, and Julian's face got as red as his hair.

"What is it?" I hissed to Asra. The fact I didn't understand pushed me even closer to a hysteria.

"Portia said it's no wonder you're not pregnant," he translated for me, his voice blank. 

Now, my blush matched Julian's.

Bitches.

"Anyway, your costumes are waiting for you in your guest rooms…" Nadia changed the subject. 

It remained changed for about five minutes.

The rest of the day and evening went more or less the same: a torture. Smartass remarks overlapped with actual work on solving the fucking case. At last, when the masquerade was already booming, I finished Lucio out of pure spite and just to get rid of the very funny ladies and pouting witch.

Later, in the ballroom, dressed in frilly silks and satin, I grabbed a flute of champagne from a passing waiter and downed it, trying to elude my emotions and Asra's searching eyes. I succeeded. I only didn't predict that I'd be tackled by Julian running away from Portia. 

He held me but my glass smashed on the floor. The music stopped with a false note and eyes of all the people around turned to us - including the nosy three's.

"Fuck," we mumbled, holding onto each other. 

"Ilya!" Asra growled, seeing his hands on me. 

"Ilya!" Portia jumped and waved over the crowd. She looked like she had a new, vicious joke in mind. 

"[name], dear!" Nadia called me sweetly. I bet she had something smart to say, too.

"Come on," Julian murmured into my ear and maneuvered us through the oblivious guests.

We reached the veranda. I looked over my shoulder to see Asra hot at our heels. His white hair, golden mask and face of an angel contrasted drastically with the seething anger in his eyes.

"[name], come back here!" I heard him over the music and chatter.

My heart jumped up to my throat. "Quickly! I know a way out," I hurried Julian and pulled him out to the gardens, to the labyrinth. "Oh my!" I gasped, falling back on Julian’s chest when we ran into a couple in the middle of… something. And then another. And then a threesome.

"Wow… How did they… How did it…" Julian murmured to himself, breathless from running and laughing, his eyebrows knit together with confusion, as we reached the old rusty door in the limestone wall.

We stopped at the door. I listened out. "I think we lost them," I panted and leaned against the wall, catching my breath. "Maybe we don’t have to leave?" 

"So we can ran into them somewhere else? No thank you." He shot me a mischievous grin. "Let’s go to the Raven."

I snorted. "It's the _ masquerade _. Everybody is here."

Julian leaned on the wall, too. With his outstretched arm. With his hand next to my head. He was so gorgeously dishevelled, his hair a mess, his shirt open, the sweet blush on his cheeks and neck. I could feel the heat radiating from him in the chilly air. I could smell him.

I got even hotter than after the run. Dirty thoughts flooded my mind. I barely listened when he spoke.

"Not everybody, I assure you," he said, his eye closely on me. "The Vesuvia's finest is in the Raven."

"You mean the outcasts?" I raised my eyebrows. 

"_ No _, not outcasts, but…" He hummed, looking for a word. "Yes. Yes, outcasts."

I laughed, slapped him playfully on the bare chest. Good gods, he was _ hot _. "Well, I don't know…" I said.

He bent his elbow, stepped closer towards me. The familiar heat bloomed low in my belly and between my legs. 

"Come on. Just one drink."

Him, me and alcohol. It wasn't going to end up well. "Oh, I'm not sure… If someone notices we're gone…"

"Oh please, you’re a big girl, you can come and go anywhere, anytime you want."

"Perhaps I can, but I'm not so sure if I _ may _. I'll just get another earful from Asra."

Julian saddened. He stepped away from me, leaving me cold. "Oh. Right, of course. I understand. You’re right. Let's not piss him off any more." 

I considered the idea of pissing Asra more. "You know what? Alright, I'll go. Let's go to the Raven."

Julian brightened up. "I like your attitude, little witch." 

"But only one," I added. 

"Even just a half, if you wish," he promised solemnly, crossing his heart, the clown. 

"And nothing strong." I looked away to hide my smile. "Though I think I'll pass out with my head on the table after even a glass of water. It's been a long day," I lied.

"I promise I'll cover you with my coat after you pass out." He opened the door and bowed.

I laughed but went outside. "Oh my! What a gentleman. Lucky me."

"Absolutely," he said, following me, putting a hand on my shoulder as we walked down the hill. "The mornings at the Raven can be quite chilly."

"Are you speaking out of experience?" 

"You bet I am."

We got to the Raven, chatting and bickering. I was happier than ever. Inside, it indeed was crowded and rowdy. Dressed up, masked people danced, drank and sang. It was even better than in the palace. Julian found us some space at one of the tables (_ some _\- we sat with our shoulders and thighs pressed tightly against each other) and fetched us drinks. And then next. And next. And then, the band played a song Julian swore to god was his, and I reluctantly let him pull me out from the booth and on the dancefloor. He led me skillfully through the lively music, I just followed, giggled, putting the forehead of my spinning head on his shoulder. I threw my head back and laughed wholeheartedly when he sang in a high voice, mocking the young male singer.

"Julian, let’s sit down," I managed to say through the laughter. "I can't feel my legs." 

"It's not a problem," he smirked. He wrapped his arms under my butt and picked me up, swaying to the music the whole time. 

I burst out laughing once again, amused to the limit. I muffled the silly sounds I was making against his hot neck. In turn, he pressed his lips to my bared collarbone, not stopping dancing with me, mouthing the lyrics against my skin. 

I was dizzy with the alcohol and the heat of Julian's body, the way his lips caressed me. The lust and longing hummed so loudly, so intently through my veins it frightened me. I was playing with fire. I couldn't let it go on like this. I straightened up and met Julian's heavy-lidded gaze. 

I barely found my voice. "Put me down, please?" 

Julian frowned but did as I asked. "Is something wrong?" 

I shook my head. "I'm just tired. I think I'd like to go home now."

"Home? Don't you want to go back to the palace?" 

I wrinkled my nose. "No, I want to go home."

"Of course." He opened the way for us through the partying crowd and out into the night. "Can I walk you? It’s late," he offered, and when I hesitated, he added, "I'll be worried." 

I bit my lip. I was _ so _ fucked. "Sure."

He smiled beautifully, and we made our way to the shop. Julian chatted lightly about his past parties and stupid things he'd done. I listened, smiling.

"Nothing seems as stupid as getting married when drunk and high," I commented.

"Ha!" he snorted. "Hah… Yeah. I've reached my peak."

"I hope not," I winked at him. 

He smiled in a silly way and chuckled. I bet he blushed. "Well, here we are," he sighed when we got to the shop. For a moment, we stood in uncomfortable silence at the door. "I had a really good night. Thank you," he said, kind of avoiding my eyes.

"Are you going back to the palace? Or to the Raven?" I asked. 

He thought for a second, then shook his head. "I don't think so. I don't feel like it."

I gasped in mock shock. "You? The king of parting? No way."

He smirked. "What's a king without his queen?"

My knees went soft and I laughed like an idiot. I leaned heavily against the door, otherwise I'd fall.

Julian frowned. His hands shot to my shoulders. "Oh god, are you alright? Are you dizzy?"

"I'm fine," I mumbled, my throat dry and cheeks burning. 

"Are you?" he doubted. "Do you mind if I see you to bed? I don't want you to faint halfway up the stairs."

It was my turn to smirk. Words left my mouth without my supervision. "It's not the most subtle way to get a girl to bed."

His eye went wide. "No, no, I'm not trying- I didn't mean it like that. I'm sorry." 

Sweet thing. I took his hand and squeezed it. "I know. I'm joking. You can come in if you want."

I opened the door and walked inside. Julian followed. 

"I just… I'm just worried," he repeated quietly. 

"Did I give you a reason?" I wondered. 

He was silent for a moment. "No." It was all he said.

We climbed the stairs. I went first, Julian was right behind me, his hand again on the small of my back. It burnt as if he was touching my bare skin.

"Watch your step," he whispered. 

My heart was racing. It wasn't my step I should watch.

Upstairs, in the bedroom, I went straight to the bed. I sat down but lied right afterwards and sighed deeply. I was wasted.

I heard Julian chuckle at the door. "Do you need help?"

"I don't know," I mumbled, my eyes closed. 

He chuckled again, then came up to the bed. I expected him to sit next to me but he didn't. A moment later, I felt him take off my shoes. I was already half asleep when he lifted my legs and put them on the mattress. He slid his arms under my shoulderblades and moved me up on the pillows. He was covering me with a blanket when I heard myself say, "Won't you undress me?"

I thought I dreamt it - the question and Julian putting me to bed, because he didn't answer for so long.

"I can if you want me to," he whispered. "I-if you don’t want to sleep in the dress."

I shook my head.

"Okay," he breathed, kind of fearfully. He uncovered me and started to undo my dress. I felt his hands shake. 

"Don't be scared. I've got a chemise underneath," I mumbled with a smile. He was being weird.

"I'm not scared," he answered, sliding the sleeves off of my shoulders and arms. I heard smile in his voice, too. 

"You've seen me naked," I remember. I raised my hips for Julian to remove the dress.

I dreamed he said, "I couldn't forget even if I wanted to." 

I dreamed he kissed my forehead and wished me goodnight. 

In this dream, I wrapped my arms around his neck. "Don't go. Stay," I asked, and he tensed. He said something, I didn’t get what. "Please," I whispered, then fell asleep and had another dream.

We came home from the masquerade at the Raven. We walked upstairs, quickly, pushed the door open, already in each other's arms. We kissed, desperately, hungrily, we clawed on each other's clothes. Piece by piece, we were naked, hot, skin on skin. I fell backwards on the bed, Julian spread my legs and lied between them, on top of me, so heavy, welcome. I hugged him with my thighs, rolled my hips against his, rubbed his thick, hard cock with my soft groin. He moaned into my mouth, hooked his arms under my knees, and when I guided him inside, he took me with one smooth, slow move. And he fucked me. It hurt and burnt in the best way, and I screamed, I howled, my head rolled back as he pounded into me, making my whole body shake, my breath hitch.

"Yes, yes, _ yes _! Julian, yes!" I chanted, I sobbed, and he panted into my neck, he groaned with each strong push.

He moved and kissed me, claimed me with a sweet, soft, thirsty lips. I sank my nails in the skin of his back, sucked on his tongue, and he growled and moaned, and tangled his fingers in my hair. His voice raised, his breath quickened, he repeated my name over and over again and he came, screaming, trembling. Before I could catch my breath, he crawled down, held my spread thighs with his hands and, still panting, he put his mouth on my sex, licked my throbbing clit, stuffed two fingers into my spasming hole, dripping with my arousal and his seed. His tongue was hot, velvety on me, his fingers fucked me steadily, he sucked and rubbed my clit in turns and soon I came, too, tensing so hard it took my breath away for a second or two.

Neither this time did he give me time to rest. He flipped me on my stomach and raised my hips and took me forcefully. I braced myself against the mattress and struggled to meet his thrusts. The wet, vulgar sounds our bodies made spurred me on. He seemed so big inside me, filled me to the brim, rubbed and struck all the right places.

"Harder," I choked out. "I'm begging you, _ harder _, as hard as you can, take me, use me, fuck me!" I needed it, I wanted the pain of being abused, wanted to feel him tomorrow morning. 

Julian groaned, the sound muffled. He was biting his lip. "I love your dirty mouth," he breathed, gripped my hips and pulled out only to lie down and pull me on top of him.

I took him back inside, he fitted perfectly. I leaned over him, kissed him again, I didn’t have enough. He wrapped his arms around me, bent his legs and pumped his hips up into me, slammed into me, quickly, roughly, making me cry out and mewl in the bliss, the delicious ache. The low, hoarse sounds he was making were filthy, sinful, maddening. I tore my mouth from his and, looking him in the eye, I let another orgasm rake my body. I whimpered, my voice high-pitched, holding his dark, yearning gaze, watching his face contort with overstimulation, concentration, until he squeezed his eyes shut and came with a shameless moan, pounding into me now slowly, but brutally hard, the last few times, pumping his seed deep inside me.

"Oh, _ [name] _," he sighed with so much zeal and adoration it made me tremble. "[name]…" 

"[name]!" Asra’s voice broke through my sweet haze. I sat up with a start, my chemise soaked between my legs, the cold light of the morning blinding me for a second. 

Julian jumped up next to me, his cheeks red, sweat rolling down his temples, clothes crumpled on him. We shared a terrified look.

"Oh _ fuck _," he swore. He scrambled out of the bed, tangled in the blanket and fell on the floor with a loud thud.

"[name]? What was it?" Asra called from shop. Then, we heard his quick steps on the stairs. 

"Shit," I gasped and jumped out of the bed, running to the door. Asra burst inside, and I stood between him and Julian. "Nothing happened! Calm down! Nothing happened!" 

Asra didn't even graced me with a look. He glared at Julian standing at the bed. "What the bloody _ fuck _are you doing here?!" He rushed at Julian like a furious bull.

"He just helped! I drank too much. He took care of me!" I tried to explain. I put my hands on his chest but he pushed me away effortlessly.

"I can see how he took care of you!" Asra growled. 

My panicked mind offered me a spell and powered me enough to stun Asra for as much as three seconds.

"Run!" I cried out to Julian. 

He didn't need to be told twice. He grabbed his jacket and shoes from the foot of the bed, ran past Asra and still found the time to kiss my cheek.

He did it the moment Asra recovered.

"You son of a bitch!" he yelled. 

I managed to slip between him and the door a second after Julian disappeared behind it.

"Out of the way, [name]!" he yelled at me.

I trembled, my eyes prickled with tears.

"[name], _ move _!" 

I slapped him. 

The silence was deafening. Asra's cheek burnt red. His eyes were cold on me.

"You can't do this!" I screamed at him, tears rolling down my face. 

"Open the door, [name]," he repeated, quietly, heartlessly.

I shook my head. He raised an eyebrow. 

"Let me out," he asked again, almost softly this time. "I want to return to the palace." 

"I don't believe you," I breathed, my throat painfully dry and clenched with tears.

He looked hurt for second, than his face went blank. "I mean it."

"I'll go with you, then." I walked past him and looked around for my dress. I found it folded neatly on a chair.

"You don't have to." 

"I do." I put on the dress, then my shoes. "I'm ready. Let's go."

Asra didn't say anything more. Frankly, he didn't speak to me for next few days, though we almost didn't leave each other’s side, watching each other. It was fine by me as long as Asra didn't get at Julian. Asra was probably equally happy that in such a case, Julian wouldn't come anywhere near me. 

The impasse was broken unexpectedly thanks to Portia.

One evening, a couple of weeks later, Asra and I were having supper in the kitchen. We didn't look at each other. We hardly spoke except for basic politeness. The silence was heavy, charged with unresolved tension and mutual grudge. Me, as if it wasn’t unpleasant enough, had to tell him something and it was eating me up. I was cold, my skin covered with goosebumps and my stomach clenched so I couldn't eat. I just pushed the food around my plate, looking for words and my own voice. A couple of times, I opened my mouth, determined to speak, but no sound escaped my dry throat. Finally, Asra noticed it.

He looked up at me, his forehead already furrowed, half worried, half annoyed. "What's wrong?" he asked slowly, suspiciously, expecting a scene. 

"Nothing," I choked out. I looked away and half-heartedly jabbed a piece of meat on my plate. "Yet…"

Asra sighed, putting his fork down. "What is it?" 

I mustered my courage. "Portia invited me to dinner tomorrow evening," I announced. 

Asra observed me in silence. "And?"

I bet he already knew. "Julian will be there, too."

He nodded. After a moment, he picked up his fork and took a bite.

I let out a breath I didn't realise I was holding. Maybe he was finally over it. Maybe I'll be able to normally work, eat and sleep with him. I smiled to myself. Yes, everything was going to be fine. Asra is wise and calm. I knew he would let go soon. With my heart lighter and my stomach finally open, I scooped a generous bite and put it in my mouth. Gods, I was starving…

I almost choked when he slammed his fork on the table. "No, you know what? I don't like it. I don't want you to go."

"And what have you got against Portia this time?" I uttered when I stopped coughing, my good humour and hope gone without a trace.

"I've got nothing against Portia. Go out with her as much as you please. It's her brother I want you to stay away from, not have family dinners with."

He was starting it all over again. "It's not… It’s not a _ family _dinner!" I finally exclaimed, after being speechless with shock for a second. "It's just a few friends meeting to eat and have a laugh, that's it." 

"Okay, great. Why am I not invited, then?"

My mouth fell open. I huffed. "How do I know? Ask Portia!" I shook my head. "Is that it? You're mad all over again because she didn't ask you to dinner?" 

"You very well know it's not it," he uttered through gritted teeth. 

"It's just a dinner!" My voice was going up. We'd had this conversation for an umpteanth time and it was driving me crazy. "What does it matter Julian will be there? Of course he will! It’s his sister, he's invited too!"

"If that's it, then decline the invitation and see Portia some other time. You can even invite her to us. I like her."

"But why do you hate Julian so much? He's kind and caring… And he treats me well, and-"

Asra stood up and hovered over me with his fists on the table. "He took you to bed and he _ married _you! How possibly-" 

I stood up, too, not afraid of him, not hungry anymore. "Ohh, don't you speak about it like I had nothing to say! I got wasted, too, and it was me who gave us your stupid weed!"

"_ Us _ ? I gave it to _ you _, exclusively to you, for your headaches and panic attacks, you know it perfectly. But now it's my fault? I didn't realise you needed supervision with your medication. And I surely didn't tell you to mix it with alcohol!"

"Okay, alright, but stop acting like it was all his fault!"

"But it is! He was supposed to take care of you! According to you, he's so good and what not, but instead-"

"I can take care of myself alright, thank you very much! I'm not-"

"Sure, I can see _ that _."

I groaned and stomped out of the kitchen, ran downstairs and grabbed my coat, with Asra right at my heels. But I was sick of these arguments. It had been going on and on for days. "Oh, I'm done listening to this over again. I'm not a child, Asra! Yes, I know you've done for me more than anyone and I _ do _ love you for that but you can't treat me like this!" 

"Like what?" he shrugged with a devilishly coy look on his face. "Like distracting you from your tasks? Like spending all the money on a hotel? Like keeping you there? Keeping you drunk?"

"Fucking hell, Asra! Why do you keep saying this like he raped me! I agreed to all of what happened! It was me being an idiot, too!"

"You're not-"

"But I am! You've no idea what happened there!"

"And I would very much rather keep it that way."

"Oh sure. It's just a shame that despite that you keep talking about it! And for your information, he didn't take me to bed. He just took me right then and there on the floor!"

I saw Asra's face turn red and his eyes narrow dangerously but I shut the door behind me and ran into the night, not really interested in his answer. I heard him call out after me but I didn't react, and he didn't follow. Only after a second did I notice it was pouring. But it was too late to return for an umbrella. I just put the collar of my coat up and walked faster.

I hoped he wasn’t asleep.

Well, of course he wasn’t. I reached Julian’s clinic and saw a weak, flickering light of a candle in the window in his flat upstairs. I sighed in relief and banged on the door to the clinic. 

"Julian!" I screamed up, trying to be heard over the rain. “Julian, it’s [name]! Let me in!”

I saw a shadow move. The window opened and Julian’s messy head popped out. I couldn’t hear it but he swore under his breath. I burst out laughing and ran to the back door. Right away, I heard him stomp down the stairs and a moment later, the door swung open, almost knocking me out. He stepped out of the way, and I jumped inside, shivering, teeth chattering, water dripping from my hair and coat.

“[name], what the hell happened? It’s late and you’re soaking wet! Did you go on foot all the way here from the shop?” he burst, his beautiful face twisted with worry. 

“Sorry, I didn’t want to interrupt…” I mumbled, not so sure of myself anymore. It was not a greeting I expected.

Julian took my coat, heavy and cold, off of my shoulders and grabbed my hand, leading me upstairs. “No, darling, you’re- Damn, your hands are ice-cold!" He sighed, squeezing my hand tighter. It indeed was so cold that even Julian's one, usually cool, felt pleasantly warm. _ And he called me darling. _ "You're not interrupting, you’re always welcome and it's been... a while…" _ Did he miss me? _ "It’s just… If you get sick, Asra won’t hesitate to blame me and gut me for it. And Pasha will probably help him if you don’t appear tomorrow evening at the dinner.”

"Then, I'm so lucky that it's a doctor's home I came to on foot in pouring rain tonight," I concluded. 

"Yeah… If you get sick despite the doctor's fussing, I'll just help Asra and Pasha kill him. Take off your shoes and go sit by the fire, alright? I'll bring you tea," he ordered and went to hang my coat by the fireplace. Then, he ran past me to the kitchen. 

I huffed, toeing my soaked shoes off. I didn’t feel like laughing anymore. “Could you cheer up a little? I just got a bit wet, not french kissed a leper. It's enough that Asra treats me like a child.” I picked up the shoes and padded to the living room.

To my surprise, almost nothing had changed since the last time I'd been here. The fire was cracking quietly, soothingly, the desk was littered with books and papers, and now with empty mugs, too. The divider was spread like I left it. The shirt I slept in laid neatly folded on the chest at the foot of the bed.

All the changes I had made, he left.

I dropped my shoes by the hearth and slumped into the armchair, taking a blanket hanged over the armrest and wrapping myself in it. A shiver shook me like an earthquake. Damn, I was cold.

“Did you fight again?” Julian asked from the kitchen. I could hear a kettle whistle. 

“How did you know?” I answered, my voice dripping with sarcasm like my hair with rain. I focused with ease and shook my head, and the hair fell dry and warm on my face. 

Julian came into the living room, step by step, carrying a cup for me, staring intently at it not to spill the contents. "I'm guessing. Is running around in pouring rain in the middle of the night a thing you do?" he asked casually. 

"Thanks" I accepted the cup he served in an ridiculously slow motion. I bit my lip not to laugh at his shaking hands. "Why, of course it is, but only during summer solstice, and naked."

Julian snickered, finally free from the full, hot cup, and shook his head. I thought to myself that I rather liked making him smile. I missed it. He brought himself the chair from the desk and sat by the fire with me, and I took a sip of the tea.

Liquid sugar crept down my throat, burning like hellfire.

"Fuck!" I choked out before a coughing fit took my air. Julian scooped the cup out of my shaking hands. "What did I do to you?" I whined when I could breathe again. 

He smiled tenderly and shook his head. "Nothing, dear. It'll make you feel better, I promise." 

"I'm fine!" I persisted. Then, the heat of the _ tea _ passed and another shiver ran through me. 

"Yes, alright," Julian laughed. "Even though - please, finish the tea. It'll make _ both _ of us better."

I forgot how vulnerable I was against his sweet, gentle charm. I took the cup from him - reluctantly, though. "_ Tea _, you say? What's even in it? I need to know what I'm supposed to taste." 

"Sure, it's no secret. There's honey, obviously…" 

"Obviously," I grimaced, smelling the characteristic heavy sweetness. 

"And tea, of course, and ginger, raspberry juice and Mazelinka's best herbal cordial. It would bring a dead back on their feet." 

"Did it bring you?" I wondered, forcing myself to take another sip of the supposedly wonderful drink.

He smirked. "Perhaps. Maz smuggled a bottle for me when you brought her to my cell after the trial. I got so smashed I barely remember my own hanging."

I chuckled into the cup. Next swallows weren't so bad like the first one. And it did make me feel better. I hummed. "And how come you've suddenly got tea?" I mused. He didn't have it the last time I was here.

Either the light from the fire or Julian blushed like a virgin. "I… I thought… that I might buy some in case…"

"In case?" 

He gave me a shy smile. "If you wanted to visit me more often." 

I turned my eyes towards the fire, hoping the glow would hide the blush that bloomed on my cheeks, too. "Thank you."

Julian was silent for a moment, looking for words. At last, he breathed as if giving up, "Anything," he admitted. 

I looked back at him and met his eyes. I sat up and intuitively reached out to his hand. "What's wrong?" 

"No, nothing," he lied, averting his heartsick gaze. He sighed heavily and moved his hand away from mine. It hurt. "I think- Not that I'm showing you the door, because I'm not but… You'd better go back home. It's late and… before Asra skins me alive for having you here." 

I rolled my eyes, though my heart was breaking, and fell back into the armchair. I smirked, masking my emotions. "Please, stop it or you'll make me think that Asra's more often on your mind than I am."

Julian laughed, still blushing sweetly. He ran his fingers through his hair, touched his face, then moved closer to me and took my hand in his, making my pulse jump and heart burst with sweet heat. He traced the lines on my palm like he did that night in the Raven, gently, pensively. I watched him long fingers caress my skin, taking a careful swallow of the tea but this time, I felt a different kind of warmth spread in my chest. And low in my belly, once again. Memories of how it felt to have him touch me, my whole body, my sweetest places; how it was to have this fingers buried deep inside me, driving me wild with forceful pushes, preparing me for his cock, so quickly so hard, so thick and hot with anticipation and hunger.

I swallowed hard. _ Gods _.

"Guilty," Julian admitted reluctantly, breaking my foolish musings. I barely remembered what we were talking about. "But, if it'll console you, I don't think in the same way about you two," he said slowly, not looking me in the eye.

An sharp, nervous burn hit me in the stomach. And a faint but delicious hope fluttered in my heart. I took a sip of my tea and decided to once again mask my feelings with a joke - a great idea always (no, it's not). 

"Oh my," I sighed, seeming way more carefree than I really was. "Truth or dare, then, Julian?" 

He answered with a smirk. "None. But still, you should get back and get some sleep. Come on, let me walk you home." He squeezed my hand, then stood up. 

"Okay… Wait. What?" My heart skipped a beat at the thought of Julian getting close to Asra. "No, you don’t have to walk me."

"That's no problem." 

"The weather is terrible. You really don't have to."

"That's exactly why I'll walk you." He felt my coat and boots. "Damn, your clothes are still wet… Can you, like, hocus-pocus them dry or something?" 

"Yeah, I can." With a steady exhale, I let out a gentle wave of my magic. With a loud _ whoosh! _, they burst with heat and steam, startling Julian. 

"Sorry," I mumbled awkwardly. What was happening to me? Then the fireplace, now this… I didn’t recognise myself. I lacked control over such simple spells.

"It's alright," he laughed, embarrassed too. "At least you'll be warm. Let's go, shall we?"

I nodded and put on my shoes. I stood up and let him help me into my coat. He then dressed up quickly and grabbed an umbrella hooked on the hanger. We went downstairs, opened the door. Outside, it was still raining cats and dogs.

Julian stepped out and opened the umbrella. He offered me his arm, his lips curled into a seductive smile. "My lady," he called me softly, gracefully. 

I wouldn't resist even if I wanted to. I joined him under the umbrella, wrapping my arms around his, and we made our way through the ugly night. The rain was bumping against the taut material over our heads and splashed into the puddles on the streets. We didn't speak. I could feel Julian's rapid pulse even through his leather coat. My heart wasn't calmer… There was something intimate about sharing the small space under the umbrella, so close to each other, after all this time, surrounded by walls of the downpour. I savoured it.

It kind of surprised me how disappointed I was when we reached the shop. Julian walked me right to the door, and I turned to him, looked up to say goodbye, finding myself face to face with him, mere inches between our noses, my back pressed against the door. He blushed at the forced closeness, and I got uncontrollably hot, too.

Only then did I notice something. "You didn't put on the eyepatch," I observed with an amazed smile.

Julian's mesmerizing eyes went wide, his blush deepened, creeping down his neck. His hand flew up to his brow but found nothing. "Oh… Oh my…" he laughed nervously and looked around, but there was nobody else crazy enough to have walks during such weather. He cleared his throat. "Sorry."

"You know I don't mind," I reminded him with a smile.

"I know. But I guess I forgot that others might," he admitted. He rubbed his neck. "So, um… Try not to wander around in torrents," he changed the subject, masking confusion with a playful smirk. "Keep warm, eat well."

"An apple a day keeps the doctor away?" I quoted.

"Yes, exactly." 

"Unless the doctor is cute, then forget the fruit?" I finished before I stopped myself. 

"Yes, um, _ no _, haha, I mean- Oh [name]," he sighed with resignation, bright and smiling bashfully.

It was worth it.

I put a hand on his breastbone. "Thank you."

He nodded, he shook his head, then wrapped his free arm around my waist and pulled me close to him, pressing a kiss to my cheek. Guided by my instinct and sheer need, I stood on my tiptoes and put my arms around his neck. I didn't know why. I just wanted to. It felt so good. 

We stood like this, just hugging each other tightly for a second or two, then Julian stepped away from me. Avoiding my gaze, he pushed the door behind me open.

"Go to bed, dear. Have a rest."

"I'll see you tomorrow, then."

"Oh, yes, right. Um… Would you like- Would you mind if I picked you up and we walked together…?" 

My heart sung. I put my hair behind my ear, nervous like a schoolgirl. "I wouldn't."

Julian smiled, touched his hair, too. "Great. Uh, so, I'll stop for you at six, alright?" 

"Alright." 

"Great. Then… I'll go, then. Goodnight… then?" 

I bit my lip, fighting back a smile. He stammered so sweetly. "Goodnight. Will you get some sleep, too?"

"I don't promise anything." He winked, making me snicker.

Yes, _ without _the eyepatch, it worked. Oh, how it worked on me... 

"You slept pretty well in the hotel," I noticed. 

"That was different." 

"You were wasted?" I guessed. 

"I slept with you," he answered, then moved anxiously, looking away, visibly shocked and embarrassed that this slipped out. He put his fist against his lips and cleared his throat. "Goodnight, [name]." 

I stepped back into the shop, leaving him alone under the umbrella. "Goodnight, Julian." 

He bowed shortly, elegantly, a playful spark in the bewitching eyes of his, and turned away as I slowly closed the door. I left it ajar, watching him walk away. My heart skipped a beat when he peeked straight at me over his shoulder. As startled as me, he sped up, and I shut the door. I turned towards the shop, a silly smile playing on my lips, my heart pounding.

I missed him already. 

I undressed, listening out. I expected Asra to wait for me but the house was dark and quiet. I climbed the stairs and peeked into the bedroom. The lights were out and Asra was in bed, on his half of the mattress, breathing steadily. I tiptoed to the wardrobe, changed into my pajamas and crept into the bed.

Asra stirred, his eyes fluttering open. "You're back," his sleepy, raspy voice rose lightly with surprise. 

My chest stung with shame. He thought I wouldn't return for the night. 

"Of course. I thought you'd be waiting," I whispered, lying down next to him.

"I didn’t need to," he murmured enigmaticly, drifting back to sleep. 

I wondered what he meant until I fell asleep too, dazed with Julian's miraculous tea and worn out by the tumult of emotions. I drifted off, and my mind opened on the other side, in a dream. Or perhaps a vision.

The smell of coffee and paper, the warmth of the fireplace - I knew I was in Julian’s flat before my view cleared. I was in his bedroom, my feet not touching the uneven wooden floor. I saw him on the bed. His tall, lithe body was sprawled in the middle, naked, the muscles of his back and buttocks working under the pale skin as he thrusted frantically into his slick fist braced against the mattress. He pressed his flushed face into the pillow I slept on, breathing in the light, remaining trace of my womanly scent. His lips were parted, he panted and moaned, the noises muffled by the pillow. His free hand clenched on the sheets. His hips slammed into his fist, the fat, red, glistening head of his cock popping out and into his curled fingers, rubbing against the cover. Suddenly, he panted loudly, urgently, his voice high-pitched and hoarse, then, with a deep, low groan, he came, the orgasm raking through his whole body, making his svelte muscles tense and relax in turns. The long, pearly spurts of his seed hit the bed, his chest, even his neck and chin. Julian fell on his forearms and rolled on his back, catching his breath. He ran his fingers through his tousled hair. 

"Oh, you fool…" I heard him murmur to himself before I snapped back into reality.

I was in my bed, my sheets hot and dump, my breath quick, the cold morning light already painting the sky grey. I trembled with the way my clit pulsed, felt wetness gathered between the lips of my sex. I peeked at Asra, thankfully sleeping undisturbed. I slipped out of the bed and tiptoed to the bathroom. I closed the door behind me as quietly as the old wood let me. I pressed my sweaty forehead against the cool tiled wall and pushed my hand into my pants. I bit my lip, stopping the sounds pressing on my throat as I rubbed my wet, swollen clit with my fingers. I recalled the fantasies which flooded my mind when Julian played with my hand. I pushed two fingers up the tight heat of my core, imagining these were Julian's, imagining his strong body close to mine, his breath on my neck, just like Julian imagined me underneath him, my thighs around his hips, my pussy opened for him as he fucked his fist. My eyes rolled back and my breath hitched when orgasm shook me so soon, without a warning.

I was too hot and bothered to fall back asleep. I tossed and turned for the rest of the night. I wandered frantically what should I wear to the dinner. 

***

The day was a torture. I couldn't focus, I couldn’t think, I dropped or broke everything I got my hands on, like our favourite sugar bowl or a kettle full of boiling water in the morning. Later, it was only worse.

I foretold an elderly lady, who asked for a card reading regarding her sick husband, that the fate had a passionate romance in stock for her. Asra was pissed but the lady seemed pretty satisfied. She tipped me, pinched my cheek and called me an 'angel face'. Then, by accident, I sold a potent aphrodisiac to a girl who came for a headache remedy for her mother, and put a little bit too much of our best, condensed cacao extract, usually used as an aphrodisiac, into a pep-up potion for a priest. Asra was annoyed with me beyond belief and in the afternoon, he dismissed me upstairs, after I let a customer walk out without paying and wished them 'a good date' instead of 'day'.

In our rooms all alone, I was going crazy. I started to tidy up, just to keep my mind and hands busy, but I stopped after I set the sheets on fire. I draw myself a bath, then. My intent was to relax, but I mistook the nice, calming lavender oil with the insane, intense jasmin one, and when the a little too hot water stung my sensitive sex, licked my swollen clit, reminding me of his lips and tongue on me, I jumped out as if burnt.

I was trying on the fifth outfit in the row - my best white blouse Asra usually wore and a long, high-waist skirt. I scooped my hair up to see how I'd look in a bun, when I heard a knock on the door downstairs. I gasped, dropping my hair. My pulse jumped and I ran to the shop, but Asra beat me to the door. Over his shoulder, I saw Julian’s face flush with surprise and his visible eye widen with fear. He clutched to his chest a bouquet of my favourite flowers, the sweetie.

Asra pointed at it with his chin. "What is this?"

Julian stared at the bouquet as if he saw it for the first time in his life. "This? This is, uh- It's for, um…"

"For [name], huh?" I could hear Asra's venomous smirk in his voice. Then, he growled, "What the hell are you thinking? That you are allowed to bring her _ flowers _?"

Julian's blush deepened. "Ah, no, no! I don't, I just…" His brows knit together with worry. He leaned towards Asra and I heard him whisper fearfully, "Why? Doesn't she like these?"

Asra clenched his fists and straightened up towards oblivious Julian, so I intervened.

"Oh, come on, Asra. It's alright," I said calmly, stepping between them, my coat already in my hands. "Stop acting like a bitch," I hissed to him, putting it on.

"I don't like him," he hissed back, but I smiled reassuringly and kissed his cheek.

"Have a nice evening," I wished him, then stepped out and closed the door behind me. "Hi," I greeted Julian, feeling shy all of the sudden.

"Hi." He smiled, nervous too.

We stood, smiling stupidly at each other. I looked at the flowers and raised my eyebrows expectantly.

Julian connected the dots. "Oh! Right. Sorry. Please, here, these are for you. I thought- I hope-"

"These are my favourite," I assured him, accepting the bouquet, and he visibly relaxed. "I could get used to getting them more often," I added with a wink, feeling playful.

He blushed the way I already adored. "Oh, that would be great. I mean, I- I'll grant your every wish just to make you happy. I mean it." 

"_ And now what? _ " Asra commented from behind the door. " _ He's a genie all of the sudden? _"

Julian's face fell with embarrassment, so I kicked the door behind me without missing a beat. By the hiss from inside, I judged that a splinter from the old wood stung Asra in the knee, just where I aimed. "I love them, thank you," I said to make Julian feel better. "They're beautiful."

His smile and eye on me once again turned dreamy. "Not as much as you."

I covered my smile with the flowers. "Oh my, what a compliment. Did you think all night on this?" I teased him.

"You little witch," he called me affectionately and with an elegant bow, he took my hand and brought it to his lips, shutting me up. "You've no idea." 

I think I had…

"_ I can still see you _," Asra informed us. 

I slapped the viewfinder. "Then stop watching or you'll lose an eye! Let's go, Julian. Portia’s waiting." 

We walked on the street, heading towards the palace. Julian put his hand on the small of my back. 

The door to the shop burst open. "Hands off, Devorak!" Asra yelled. 

Julian jumped a foot away from me. I sent Asra a glare, almost giving him a blinding headache but the jerk blocked it in the very last moment. I grabbed the doctor's hand and pulled him behind the corner, out of my nanny's prying eyes. Nobody interrupted us for the rest of the way. 

"Are you nervous?" Julian asked me when we were approaching Portia’s cottage through the palace gardens.

"Of course," I answered sincerely. "Do you think she'll still make fun of us for… you know?" 

"Absolutely. Especially of me."

"Oh. Yes, right. I'm not so nervous anymore." 

"Thanks. At your service, my lady," he mumbled sourly. He sighed when we stood at her door. "Here we go." 

He knocked and a second later, Portia opened and beamed at us. She pulled me into a hug. "[name], sweetie, so good to see you. Are those for me? You shouldn’t have…" She gave herself my flowers. She turned to Julian, who opened his mouth to explain but thought better of it, and they kissed on the cheeks. Then, she slapped him on the shoulder. "And you? Coming with empty hands? You peasant." She huffed, then smiled at me. "Come in, come in. The dinner's almost ready." 

Julian shot me an incredulous look but softened seeing my amused smile. He sighed, shrugged and let me in first. With his hand on the small of my back. 

"Come in. Make yourselves at home," she went on. "[name], sweetie, sit wherever you like. Ilya, pour [name] some wine and then, come help me in the kitchen."

Julian was in the middle of helping me out of my coat. "Huh? I thought I was a guest, too."

Portia put her hands on her hips. "Yes, you are. So what?" 

"I can help, too, Portia. It's no problem," I offered. 

She waved her hands frantically. "No, no, no. It's out of the question. Make yourselves comfortable. Ilya! Serve your lady and then, help your sister," she ordered and marched to the kitchen. 

Julian sighed, shrugging off his coat. "She starts to sounds like Mazelinka," he murmured to me.

"I heard that!" Portia shouted.

I chuckled, taking a seat at the table. Julian and I shared a look, he smiled sourly. 

"Of course she did," he mouthed to me.

I was having the time of my life.

***

We walked side by side. Silent but it was alright. It felt good, comfortable, just to walk together. 

As if it was enough for us…

We bumped our shoulders every now and then, either because of me or him. He apologised after the first few times, then stopped, accepting that it was just the way we walked. And our hands brushed against each other, too. Just from time to time, accidently. Until he simply grabbed mine and squeezed it, making my heart burst with sweet, sweet warmth. I then walked closer, my arm touching his, and put my head on his shoulder for a minute. I couldn't stop a smile creeping on my lips - I guess one didn't need to be a magician to feel the same warmth radiating from him, too.

_ No need to be so shy. I'm your wife after all. _I had such a silly joke on my mind from time to time but I never dared say it out loud. I bet Julian had similar ideas, too, but he never joked about it. Sometimes, I could see the familiar spark in his eye, always there when he thought of something funny, but he would bite his tongue as if he changed his mind. 

So, we walked, holding hands, not talking about it. Though, when I let myself go, I could imagine that we were going back home from a dinner at Julian's sister's. _ Together _. Because, frankly, anyone who would look at us now, wouldn't guess we were not a couple.

We were approaching the shop, and I could sense Asra’s eyes searching the street. I pulled Julian into an empty alley. "Ugh, come here, my nanny is watching."

"Nanny?" he laughed, letting me hide us in the shadow. 

"Asra is still so angry."

"With me," he added knowingly.

I shrugged. "With you, with me, with Nadia, with himself, with all the gods, I don't know. I don't follow anymore." 

He sighed and slumped his head down. He took both my hands in his. "I don't want you to lose such a friend because of me." 

I’d heard it before. Julian was still almost as sure of that it was his fault as Asra. I shook my head and clumsily, hesitantly placed my hands on his chest. "Please, don’t. Don't put all the blame on yourself. It makes you sound like him."

Our eyes met. In his, I saw the same fear and longing I felt myself. They were obvious on his face, just like the sweet, alluring blush that painted his cheeks.

He swallowed hard. His heart pounded under my palm. “Maybe he’s right,” he breathed, his voice shaking just a little. 

“You know he’s not.”

“Still, I have to watch my back every time I even walk near your shop,” he said with a sour smile.

“Oh yeah?” With a surge of confidence and want, I moved my hands up, slowly, to his neck. I entwined my fingers on his nape. I needed to fight back a purr at how hot his skin was. “Do you walk by that often? It’s no wonder Asra’s so annoyed with you.”

Julian laughed softly. I felt his hands move tentatively to my waist. My heart fluttered, my face burnt, and then, his arms snaked around my back, pressing me gently to him, making my head spin. This was the closest I’d been to him for weeks. It turned out I needed it more than I imagined.

"Quite often, I must admit,” Julian confessed.

I snickered, shaking my head. He bit his lip and embraced me tighter, pressed me flat to him, all the way from our chests down to our thighs. The feeling of his cock against my soft belly broke something in my, crashed the last walls of my resistance. I couldn't remember why I was resisting at all.

“I’m sorry," he murmured. He was so close. His breath tickled my mouth. "I… I just miss you. _ So _ much."

I looked down at his lips and back into his hopeful eye. What were we even waiting for? "You don't have to." I stood on my tiptoes again, and Julian met me halfway, as if he was ready for this, just waiting for a sign. Our lips touched, and this strange, powerful ache surged through my very core, and we kissed and kissed and _ kissed _, I don't know for how long, we kissed for a forever, with our hands in our hair, on our cheeks and necks, so deliciously, patiently, as if we practiced it, as if we had the whole time in the world.

“I missed you, too,” I confessed at last, and Julian purred sweetly and bent even lower over me, cradling my head with one hand and pressing me to him with the other on the small of my back. I wrapped my arms around his neck, holding onto him, as I balanced on my tiptoes. Our kiss grew bold, quickened. With a long, low groan, he turned us around and pressed my back to the wall with his whole body. My feet didn't even touch the ground now.

"Oh _ god _, let me take you home," he breathed hotly into the kiss. 

I couldn't muffle a moan on the thought of being with him again. I moved my legs from under his thighs and pulled them up to his hips. His groin pressed into mine, and we both keened on the sensation. I could feel the hot length of Julian's glorious cock on the crease of my thigh. It twitched and hardened. I smiled. "Is this a dare?"

He groaned impatiently, knowing I was teasing him. He brushed his lips against mine. "A wish. A dream, a plea, everything I want right now. I want you, only you, I miss you, I-"

I took his face in my hands and cut him off with another kiss. "Take me home, Julian. Take me to your bed."

In answer, he kissed me back, hard, parted my lips with his and slid his tongue into my mouth, slid it against mine. We parted with a delighted purr, and the look we shared before he put me down made my heart swell and my clit pulse. Julian took my hand and peeked out and up on the windows of the apartament over the shop. 

"Is the nanny still watching?" he whispered stealthily.

I chuckled and pulled him out on the street. "I don't know, I don't care. Let him watch."

"Very well," Julian agreed with a shrug. "Let him see this."

He bent over and wrapped an arm around my thighs and picked me up, putting me on his shoulder. I squeaked like a child when he ran lightly through the streets, laughing at my cries and groping the back of my thighs the whole time.

"You insolent jerk!" I choked out through the laughter. 

"Ohoho, sweetheart." He spanked me, drawing another indignant gasp from me. "Just wait. You'll sing in a completely different way in a moment." 

"You're just bragging!"

Julian burst out laughing. "Is _ this _a dare? I take it. Oh, I take it." 

I was dizzy and trembling with laughter and anticipation. I didn't tell him to put me down not even once. I enjoyed it too much. He carried me all the way to the clinic and put me down only at the door. I clung to his shoulder, waiting for my head to stop spinning, when he struggled with the key. I craned my neck up and sucked a kiss under his jaw. Julian groaned, biting his lip. He opened the door and pulled me inside, pushed my back on it and claimed me again with his whole body and a heated kiss. He cupped my cheeks, my neck, tangled his fingers through my hair.

I sighed from the very bottom of my lungs as I kissed him back with all I was worth, wrapped my arms around his waist, hooked my leg over his, bringing us closer.

I could really breathe again. 

“Good god, [name], I missed you so much," he breathed between wet kisses and bites a little bit too hard, impatient. "You’re so warm, so soft. You smell incredible. You taste so good. _ Fuck _, I want you so badly. Can I, please…?"

“I’m all yours.”

He moaned with uttered delight and kissed me one more time before he grabbed me under my thighs and lifted me up. He took the stairs. 

I gasped against his lips and clung to his shoulders. I looked into his face. He was so beautiful. "I can walk, you know that, right?"

He smiled sweetly. "I like to carry you, darling. Don't deprive me of this pleasure." 

"As if you'd get none if you let me use my legs."

"Use whatever you want, just let me carry you to bed."

I couldn't stop a smile. What could I do? I did let him, I would let him do anything, but in the meantime, I let myself cover his neck with as many hickeys as I managed before he lied us on the bed. Still in our coat, in shoes, we kissed, loudly, sloppily, moving against each other, struggling to remove our clothes. Julian's eyepatch and coat landed on the floor first, then I kicked off my shoes, and he got rid of his, holding me with one arm. I finished to unbutton his jacket when he rolled on his back pulling me on top of him. He tore my coat off of me, undid my blouse, baring my shoulders, my chest, and moved down my neck, marking his way with wet kisses and frustrated bites. He caressed the swells of my breasts with his lips and gloved fingers, he put his mouth on my nipple, teased it with his breath, swirled his tongue around it, making me gasp with delight and relief. I rolled my hips against his groin almost unknowingly, drawing a gasp from him, too.

"Take off the fucking gloves already," I breathed impatiently into his hair. I wanted his hands on me. It's been too long.

He hummed wantonly and licked the heavy underside of my breast, pulling them off behind my back. I used this moment to open his jacket and shirt and smooth my palms against his beautiful, broad chest, when he slid his now bare hands under my skirt up my thighs to the bare skin above my stockings, making me yelp and jump away from him. But I didn't run far - he grabbed me firmly and flipped me on my back again.

"Julian, _ fuck, _ you’re hands are _ freezing _!" I squeaked, choking with laugh, and squirmed underneath him but he was too heavy on top of me to fight back. 

The cheeky bastard pushed his terribly cold hands between my ass and mattress. "Just a little more, they'll warm up soon," he promised with a disgustingly amused smile. He nuzzled my neck as if nothing was happening. "_ God _, you’re so hot."

"Fuck you! You jerk!" I uttered through the laughter.

"Mmm, I love it when you talk dirty to me," he murmured, kneading my buttocks, his lips brushing against my ear.

He bit the soft skin underneath it, and my hand flew to his hair, grabbing a handful. I brought his mouth back on mine. I trapped him, wrapping my legs around his hips, and moved against him as we kissed. I shoved the bloody jacket and shirt off of his shoulders, hungry for his skin, its smell, its taste, its feeling not only on my chest like now but everywhere. As close as we could possibly be. _ Gods _, I wanted to eat him alive, bite him to the bone, just to be closer. 

I did bite him hard on the flesh between his neck and shoulder, and his breath hitched loudly, a shiver shook his body. He pried his hands from underneath me and sat up, struggling with the buttons of my skirt. I shrugged off my blouse, threw it on the floor, I raised my hips for him to take off my skirt. He slid it off of me, slowly now, drinking up every inch of newly revealed skin with dark eyes, parted lips. He looked up at me, only in my stockings now, and my fists clenched on the sheets. 

"Do I… Can I really… have you?" he asked, quietly, true awe in his voice.

I smiled, something wild surging through my veins, something I'd never felt with anyone else. "Yes," I breathed.

My skirt landed on the floor, and I crawled up towards the head of the bed, leaving Julian kneeling at my feet. He curled his fingers around my ankle, gently, barely touching me, then, closing his eyes, he bent and placed a kiss on my clad knee.

"And do you… really want me?" he asked again, not meeting my eyes. 

How could he doubt? "Yes." His eyes shot to mine, so uncertain, so sweet. I outstretched my hand to him. "Come here. Let me undress you," I asked quietly, spreading my legs.

His gaze on me were so intense I felt them like fingertips on my skin. Never taking his eyes off of me, he fell on his forearms on the both sides of my hips, his face over my stomach. He caught my gaze, then placed a soft kiss above my hip. My eyes fluttered shut, enjoying the sweet thrills caused by each next kiss he gave me on his slow way up my body. His lips caressed my sides and belly, he brushed them against my ribs. With just the tip of his tongue, he licked his way up to my breast, wetly kissed the underside of it. He held my gaze when he swirled his tongue around my nipple and hugged it with his wicked mouth and sucked. I gasped and clenched my hands on his shoulders, and he hummed as if I were made of chocolate. He went up, with one warmed up hand feeling my thigh, my buttock, up my side to my other breast. He fondled my body and washed my neck with teasingly gentle kisses and bites. When he finally reached my lips, I cupped his face, keeping him in place. It were just a few minutes but I missed and craved his mouth, hot and wet, I needed his tongue against mine, moving sinfully, sending waves of pleasure and peace through me. I traced my fingers along his hot cheeks, hard jaw, down his pulse, feeling it rush, feeling him swallow hard. I smoothed my hands down his shoulders, pushing the clothes off. He kneeled and reached behind his back, pulling on the sleeves frantically. 

"Slowly!" I laughed softly. "Slowly, no need to hurry. I'm not going anywhere."

The shirt and jacket landed in a tangled mess on the floor. I pulled him back on top of me, hugged him with my thighs. 

"Aren't you?" he asked quietly, doubtfully. 

I cupped his cheeks, made him look at me. "No."

His eyes softened, a small, unsure smile bloomed on his lips. He cupped my cheek, caressed it with his thumb. "Will you… will you stay for the night?" 

My heart sung. I felt I could fly. "Do you want me to?" 

He nodded feverishly, his eyes sincere and full of lust and affection. "So much." 

"Of course I will."

And then, he was on me again. He pinned me down to the bed, kissed me, touched me, everywhere he reached. I pushed my hands between us, undid his trousers, and his hot, hard cock fell heavily into my open palm.

_ Fuck _, I missed him.

"Oh good god…" he sighed deeply. He pushed into my curled fingers. My core clenched with anticipation. "How much I _ missed _ it. Missed _ you _."

"Oh really?" I murmured against his lips, stroking him firmly. "Then it's surprising how much you always insisted to walk me home."

"Of course I did." He took his hand off of my face, replaced it with his cheek. Instead, he pushed his hand between my legs and brushed his fingers against my sex. I cried out on the sensation. It's been so long. "Have you got any idea" he whispered into my ear. "how difficult it is for me to keep my hands off of you? And you did whatever you could to get me to bed." 

"You're insolent!" I gasped. "I would _ never _… Ah!" I moaned at his finger pushing its way up my body. 

"Yes, you did, you sweet, hot, tight, little witch," he groaned and licked me behind my ear, traced the outline of the lobe, slid it inside, fucking me slowly with a finger, and I couldn't argue when he did all of this to me. "I can't believe we waited so long to do this again," he breathed "You feel so good, every time is mindblowing, I can't believe it's me you want…" 

"Oh, Julian…" 

"I know, but you're so good, so fucking beautiful, so soft… Mmm, I can't get enough of you…"

He added another finger, pushed harder, deeper, this time rubbing my clit with his thumb. My breath hitched, my toes curled. My legs fell wider apart, and I couldn't stop a wanton moan, "_ Gods, _Julian!" 

He keened into my neck. "[name], _ darling _, you perfect creature, you’re the sweetest, I was made for you, I'll would die to make you happy, I love you, I-"

"What?" 

My heart froze and Julian stopped. I swear the air turned cold and the silence deafened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next coming: The Joker


	6. The Nothing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here, in this blessed chapter, the great magician Asra shall tell us, puny mortals, why he's never hungover!

Julian looked at me, his eyes wide with shock, probably just like mine. "Fuck," he mumbled and jumped off of me as if I burnt him. "I'm sorry, so  _ so _ sorry."

"Julian-" I sat up, panic raising in my chest.

He perched on the edge of the bed, his back to me. “No, no, you don’t have to say anything. It’s- Ah!” He flinched violently when I touched his shoulder, startling me. “Sorry! I-  _ Fuck _ !” he swore under his breath, getting up. “What was I thinking… How could I… What an utter  _ idiot _ !”

“But- But-”

“I’m sorry. I have to go.” He pulled up his trousers and hastily walked out of the bedroom.

“But- What?! Julian,  _ you _ live here!”

He didn’t listen to me. He disappeared in the kitchen, leaving me alone, confused and shaken, struggling to process what have just happened. But I failed, I didn’t understand, though his words kept ringing in my ears, they stuck in my heart.

_ He said he loved me. _

Dear gods… My heart fluttered. Or was it my stomach? 

Oh no, no, no. Fucking hell. It wasn't good. It was bad. So, so bad.

No, wait. It wasn't. It couldn’t be. I couldn't let it be.

I took a deep breath. I slid off of the bed. Sweating with awkward heat and shivering slightly when the air licked my wet skin, I grabbed Julian’s shirt from the floor and put it on. I wrapped my arms around myself to stop them from trembling and padded to the kitchen. I peeked inside. I found Julian with his back to the entrance, leaning on the counter on his elbows, swaying, his face in his hands.

“Julian…?” I whined weakly through my clenched throat. He stopped swaying but didn’t turn to me. “Please, calm down. Okay? Sweetie? Please? Nothing happened.”

He sighed, shaking his head. He rubbed his face. “Yes, happened. I’ve fucked up. Again,” he mumbled so quietly I barely heard him.

I risked a step closer. I rubbed my arm, feeling terribly uncomfortable and lost, looking for the right words to say, the right things to do. All I came up with, and I am ashamed of it, was tricking him into a different kind of guilt. “Should I… Do you want me to go?”

It was a dick move but at least it worked. Julian looked at me, his face ashen white, contorted with distress, eyes wet. “What? No! No, no, I don’t... But…” He looked away with resignation. “I’ll understand if you do.”

I took another step and risked putting a hand on his shoulder. He jerked slightly, but this time, he didn’t move away. I stroked him, in a comforting way, I hoped. “But I don’t. It’s alright, Julian. You didn’t do anything bad.”

He let out a heartbroken sigh, shaking his head. “It's been going so good, at last! And then I had to open my stupid mouth and make the things awkward.  _ Again _ .”

“Well…” I hesitated. I put the other hand on his forearm, squeezed it gently. He let me. “Maybe. A little. But I got used to it,” I intended a joke but my voice didn’t come out as light as I hoped it would.

Julian huffed. “Thanks,” he murmured bitterly, moving away.

“Oh come on!” Since he wouldn’t look at me and was about to run away, I wrapped my arms around his waist, hugging myself to his back. “Julian,  _ please _ . It wasn't a crime and I… I really like you! I do. I've been going crazy with missing you,” I assured him. “And I don’t want this to end now just because you speak faster than you think.”

He snorted sheepishly. He nodded. Tentatively, he stroked my forearm, making my heart swell with hope. I embraced him tighter. “I really am sorry. I got carried away. I didn’t mean- I mean I did  _ mean _ I- Oh fuck…” He tensed and tried to squirm away.

“Julian.” I turned him towards me and pressed him back to the counter. He was halfway through averting his eyes but I took his face in my hands, making him look at me. I offered him a patient smile. “I know how you feel about me, I really do. You’ve proved it more than once. I don’t need any more explanations."

He nodded, but didn't appear convinced to me.

I climbed on my tiptoes and stole a small kiss from him. "I like you," I whispered. "A lot. I like being with you. We have good time. I wouldn’t change a thing.”

Julian nodded again but didn't say anything and kept staring at my shoulder. Another sickening chill of panic ran through me. My confidence crumbled. I let go of his face.

“But if it's not enough for you…?” I added timidly.

He finally raised his eyes to mine. "Oh darling, of course it is!" He swept me into his arms like earlier tonight. "You're the best thing that has ever happened to me. I almost can't believe that you really want me. And I'm terrified that I'll screw it up by… acting or…  _ babbling  _ like an idiot." 

"Hush." I hugged him back as tightly as I could. "You didn't screw up anything. You’re not an idiot." I kissed his cheek. "But you do blabber, sweetheart."

Julian chuckled. He pressed his cheek to mine and sighed deeply. "You're wonderful. I don't deserve you." 

I moved an inch away, leaned my forehead against his. "Bullshit." I managed to make him smile and it was like seeing the bright blue sky after a storm. "Can I get a kiss now?" I asked coyly. 

He didn’t hesitate. "All my kisses are yours." He leaned down and put his lips on mine, so gently, innocently, but it rekindled the heat inside me.

He pulled away way too soon.

“Another one?” I asked.

He smiled warmly and kissed me again, this time with our lips parted, moving softly against each other, capturing, caressing. This was a huge progress but I craved more.

"Another one," I breathed, curling my fingers on his nape.

Without hesitation, he pulled me up to him, and I wrapped my arms around his neck. We melted in the kiss, mouths open, tongues sliding hungrily against each other. Heat started to pool between my legs once again, and when Julian’s hand slid under my hair, on my nape, when his other curled on the small of my back, pulling me close to his naked torso, a violent thrill ran down my spine. I gasped into the kiss, and he moaned, desperate yearning in his voice. His embrace tightened, his hands cupped my ass greedily, and he scooped me up and sat me down on the counter. I let him in between my legs, wrapped them around his hips. He smoothed his hands up my thighs, under the shirt, gripped my bare hips, pulled me closer, oh closer to him. His thick cock pressed flush to my groin, I felt it twitch and harden again. I lowered my hand to it, felt it through his trousers, all the way from his balls up the length to the head, felt it pulse under my touch. Julian hummed low in his throat, pressed into my palm, and my clit throbbed, my mouth watered.

I bit his lip, hard, sharp, earning a tortured groan from him. My eyes met his, so beautiful, heavy-lidded, dazed with lust. I smirked. “I know how to cheer you up."

He frowned in confusion. "I  _ am _ pretty cheered up but… do go on."

I just smiled mysteriously before I pushed him away, enough for me to jump on the floor. His confusion deepened, as his blush did too, and he gasped when I sank to my knees. And when I kissed his stomach with my mouth open, and when my hands gripped his hips. I licked the outline of his hipbone, slowly, then dragged my teeth down, making him shiver and hum. My hand smoothed its way to his cock, already stiff, already hot, straining against his trousers. I palmed it hard, and he drew in a shaky breath, and my core clenched demandingly.

Oh, how hungry I was for him.

I peeked up into his face contorted with want. Bright blush bloomed on his heaving chest, on his neck, his cheeks. He was gripping the edge of the counter, his forearms shaking.

"Should I go on?" I breathed coyly, partly to tease him, partly to really make sure he wanted it.

"Oh god,  _ yes _ , please," he moaned desperately.

Keeping his gaze, I traced my lips up the covered member. He gasped, his eyes closing, but he forced them open and watched me undo his trousers.

I planned to tease Julian, to go slow on him, to work him up until his shaking. But it was before his cock sprang outside, so long and thick, jutting stiffly from the dark, ginger, curly hairs on his groin.

I changed my mind. I gave it a long, hard lick from the base up, and the heavy scent, the heat and smoothness, and Julian's broken moan shot to my head. I wrapped my lips around the big, round head and sucked, and swirled my tongue over it, a delighted groan escaping my throat just like Julian's. I was greedy for more. I loosened my jaw and took him as deep as I could, and slid it out, hollowing my cheeks, pressing my tongue flat to the base. And again, and again, until I was bobbing my head in earnest. Julian's sounds above me spurred me on, encouraged me, and I did my best, spoiling him as well as I could, enjoying myself tremendously. The heat between my legs was insistent and my clit begged to be touched but  _ fuck _ , why haven't I sucked Julian off earlier? The weight of his cock on my tongue, the large girth stretching my lips, making me struggle to open wider, to relax my throat and take more and more of him, to hear his pleasure increase. Ohh, to make him come, to have his seed fill my mouth, to taste it…

I took him in my hand and stroked him in tandem with my lips, and his breath hitched, and his cock expanded and twitched in my mouth, hitting the back of my palate.

I had to release it to cough, but just for a second. I was already swallowing it back in, when Julian cupped my cheek.

"Oh,  _ baby _ , darling, enough,  _ please _ ," he panted. I gave him a questioning look. His face was a picture of pure agony. "Come here, come to me." He bent down towards my, urging me up to my feet. Then he took me into his arms and kissed me once, deeply, hotly, before he tore the shirt off of me. "Fuck," he breathed, eyeing me hungrily.

I leaned in to kiss him again but he was faster - he spun me around, bent me over the counter, pressing me to it with all his body. His cock slid between my legs, brushed against the folds of my sex, against my clit, swollen and sensitive, wet from my arousal. I moaned at the too light caress, but it was just a whisper compared to Julian's long, deep groan he let out with his lips pressed to my ear.

"Oh, can I…?" he choked out desperately, nuzzling the crook of my neck like a cat, groping my breasts, rutting against my hot flesh.

I bit my lip, lost for words. I just reached behind me and spread myself for him.

His utterly delighted hum sent a sweet shiver down my spine. He lined up and pressed in, and the absolute lack of resistance he met left me breathless. With just one, slow move, he was all the way inside me, filling me up, so big, so hard, pulsing with heat, all his body flush against mine. He stilled for a moment, enjoying it as much as I did, then withdrew and pushed in again, and again, and again, slowly at first, but faster and stronger with each thrust, until he was fucking me hard, almost brutally. He wrapped his arm around me, braced against the opposite wall and took me hungrily, impatiently, panting into my neck, our bodies slapping loudly against each other. I gasped and moaned, and moaned, holding onto him, onto the counter. I missed it, I needed it, it was so good, so good…

And then, I realised I loosened up and the sensation of him inside me wasn't so intense anymore. I kept keening but… when I wondered if I am being really this ecstatic, I stopped.

Then, I noticed Julian was quiet, too. Well, he panted and hummed but frankly, nothing more. Nothing usual. No desperate, wanton groans or growls, no blissful sighs, no… heated confessions of how good I feel, how he adores my body, how he… loves me. His lips were pressed to the side of my neck, he breathed loudly through his nose, and that was it.

Suddenly, I couldn't get rid of a feeling that it was fake. Mechanical. Forced even. He was forcing himself, just for me.

I felt guilty. So utterly, sickeningly  _ guilty _ . It was my fault. I made him act like this.  _ Fuck _ , I made him force himself to have sex with me. Why didn't I just tell him I loved him back? Because… I did. I guess. Didn't I? Did I?  _ Fucking hell _ , even if I didn't, I could have told him!  _ Stupid _ ! For  _ him _ , to soothe him, to make him feel secure and wanted. Because he was! I did want him! So much. I did l-... like him. I liked him. I did, I did, I really  _ did _ ! So why did it turn out so bad? Why was I  _ myself _ letting him use me to make him feel better? Why did it make me feel like whore? And why couldn't I enjoy it? Physically at least?

I whimpered in frustration, I pushed back at him, clenched around him, curled my hand over his forearm on my stomach. I managed to feel him, feel nice, and I gasped, and he moaned - once, and it passed. I recalled the sweet, secret vision of Julian jerking himself off in his bed, the dream we shared after the Masquerade, all the times we fucked in the hotel, and it was so hot, so beautiful and good… And it faded after a moment. I whined again, helpless, furious, struggling to feel anything, just  _ anything _ but this... this...  _ disgusting _ guilt!

Just to finish this already.

Julian interpreted my sounds and movements as a sign of my impending orgasm. His hand smoothed down my belly, between my legs, and his nimble fingers began to fervently massage my clit. I gasped, surprised and relieved, because it was  _ earnest _ , because his touch did feel  _ good _ , and when I naturally shivered and arched, taking him deeper, I keened, and he groaned hoarsely, blessed my neck with a hot, wet kiss. I reached up to his face, tangled my fingers in his hair, turned to him and our lips met, clumsily, sloppily, but eagerly, and for a second I believed it was good again.

But the kiss was uncomfortable and we ended it quickly. The first thrill of his hand on my sex passed and didn't come back. My clit remained numb, my vagina too loose and unresponsive, as if turned off. Another annoyed, broken groan escaped my lips, and I tensed, and clenched, and gasped, and panted, but all I managed was to make Julian come - within minutes of my lost fight, his breath quickened, his thrusts shallowed, his rhythm faltered, and with one last deep push and a half-hearted moan, he stilled and came inside me.

And that was it.

We embraced, evening our breaths. Julian pressed a kiss my temple. But it was strange, stiff, more like an apology than caress, and it made my eyes sting with tears. His cock slipped out of me and his sperm dripped down my thighs. It wasn't pleasant. I flinched.

Julian moved away, tried to meet my gaze. "Is something wrong?"

I shook my head and turned to him with the best smile I could do right now. I wrapped my arms around his neck. "Of course not. Why would anything be?"

"I don't know, I…" he trailed off, looking away. "I'm sorry it was so short. I guess I enjoyed myself too much." He offered me a crooked smile, a parody of his playful smirk.

I cupped his cheeks and shook my head again. "That's okay. It was good." Good? Really? That's a way to make things better? Bravo.

His smile tensed. "You…" He blushed furiously. "...came? Didn't you?"

Fuck, fuck, fuck. "Y- No."  _ Fuck _ ! I couldn't lie! I couldn't. "But I'm fine! I don't need to, I'm fine," I rushed to assure him because he looked so ashamed it broke my heart.

" _ Oh _ . Oh god... I'm, I'm so sorry, darling, I- I'm  _ sorry _ . I, I can still… Please, let me..." he stammered, already moving to kneel in front of me.

"No, no, sweetheart, you don't have to, please, I'm fine, I really am." I gripped his shoulders, held him up, feeling myself panic and burn with shame, too. I had to stop him. Now, I wouldn't come even if he spoiled me for the rest of the night.

Reluctantly, he straightened up, his cheeks, ears, neck covered with nervous, red blotches. "Are you sure? I can, I really… I want to make you feel good…"

I took his face in my hands and kissed him, struggling to smile reassuringly. "I do feel good. I felt good. I'm fine, sweetie, everything's fine."

"Alright," he let go hesitantly, not really meeting my gaze.

I felt like shit.

I rubbed his neck and shoulders, as if to erase the reddenings and the embarrassment behind them. From him and myself. "How about we freshen up and go to the Raven? For a drink or two? The night is young," I offered cheerfully to change the subject.

Plus, I desperately needed a drink.

Julian nodded, stroked my back, pulling me to his chest. "Sure. Why not," he said, his voice light.

My heart swelled with hope and relief, and I relaxed in his arms.

After a minute, we pulled away, shared a small smile and a peck on the lips. We cleaned up and dressed up and headed out to the bar.

The noise and crowd inside pleasantly countered the tension between us. We ordered our drinks and found a free booth. We finished them quickly, talking about the weather, then ordered next round. After this one, we relaxed enough to speak and joke almost normally. After the third, we even held hands across the table. When the fourth kicked in, Julian sat next to me and threw an arm over my shoulders. We observed the patrons and he told me embarrassing stories about some of them, as I giggled into his neck. After the fifth round, I almost hoped he might make me dance with him. Not that I wanted to dance, because I didn't, I didn't like to. But it would be normal, that was something Julian usually did at this hour. So, I waited throughout the sixth and seventh drink but it never happened. Or maybe it did. But rather didn't, judging on the disappointment stirring in my stomach. But maybe it was just vodka. But I wouldn't bet my life on because after so much of it, my mind wasn't quite sharp anymore. But I know we talked and bickered and laughed, and I remember sitting on his lap with his large, warm hand on my thigh, and the other on my shoulder. I remember kisses, sweet and tender, and smiles between them, and touches, on cheeks and neck, on hair, and that it felt so nice I completely forgot about what happened earlier that night.

And some of what happened later.

But we definitely didn’t get married this time.

We only got sick.

***

I woke up with a chill creeping all over my skin. I shivered and rubbed my face with a groan. I was naked and I kicked the cover off of me in my sleep and now, I was freezing. And when I moved to the other side of the bed in search of warmth…

I yelped when I reached the edge. I forced my eyes open and looked around, squinting in the sharp light of the morning. “Julian?” I choked out hoarsely and listened.

But the flat was silent.

My stomach flipped. I knew it wasn’t good. And it wasn't yesterday booze. “Julian….?”

When again I got no answer, I gathered the cover around me and slid out of the cold bed on the even colder floor. I padded unsteadily to the bathroom. I knocked. “Are you in here?”

Nothing. I knocked again. Then, hesitantly, I pushed the door open. I peeked inside. It was empty. My blood ran ice-cold and I shivered again.

It was very much not good.

“Oh come on…” I whined as I ran, shuffling my feet because I didn’t trust myself enough to raise them.

I checked the kitchen – empty. I even went downstairs and looked for him in the dark, dusty clinic, but it was empty, too. I returned upstairs and sat in the armchair by the cold hearth.

Maybe he’s just gone to get us some breakfast?, I thought to myself. That would be nice of him. That would be something Julian would do, the sweetie. So, how long could it take for him to do a little shopping? Ten minutes? Fifteen? Right? Right. So, I waited. I freshened up and dressed up. I looked for the tea - my tea - but didn’t find it. I made coffee, then. Two cups. I sat in the armchair with mine. I didn’t drink it because I hated black coffee. I just hugged it to my chest for the warmth. But I kept shaking with cold anyway, and with crippling headache and anxiety. After some time, I looked at the clock at the mantlepiece.

It’s been an hour. I’ve been sitting like this for an hour.

Feeling strangely numb and nauseous, I stood up, put my cold, untouched coffee next to Julian’s cold, untouched one on the kitchen counter, dressed up and left. I walked, quickly, blinking very often and shivering slightly in the chilly morning air. I slipped into the shop and tiptoed upstairs. I don't even know why I bothered. Asra was already up and heard me from the kitchen. 

"[y/n]? Hi!" he called me, somewhat hesitantly. "I didn't think you'd come back so soon. I would've waited with breakfast." 

The warmth in his voice I hadn't heard in weeks lured me into the kitchen. Asra was sitting at the table over a cup of steaming tea. A pot, a half empty bottle of milk and rests of fresh bread and fruit were still out. He frowned and stood up seeing the look on my face. 

"What happened?" 

Before I formed an answer, my lips trembled and tears poured out of my eyes. I covered my mouth with my hands but it didn’t stop a sob that escaped my throat. Without a second of hesitation, he came up to me and pulled me into a firm hug. This was enough to break me. I slumped in his arms and my shoulders shook as I cried.

"Oh honey, what did this godforsaken idiot do?" he murmured into my hair. 

"He left," I managed to choke out.

"He… broke up with you?" 

I shook my head, bursting out with new wave of tears. "I woke up and he was gone!"

Asra groaned, then sighed, but didn't stop to hold me. He pressed a kiss to my temple. "Hush, sweetheart. Hush, now. It's not worth your tears," he shushed me softly, stroking my hair, swaying us gently.

"I don't understand," I whimpered. "Nothing bad happened."

"I know, honey, I know. He…" Asra sighed. "He tends to do things like that."

"He said he loved me," I breathed, barely hearing myself, but it got to Asra.

He tensed, held his breath. I expected he'd burst with anger just like he did when he found out about our adventures on the trip. But he breathed out after a second and gave me another kiss. "Come, sit down." He took my face in his hands and wiped my tears away with his thumbs. "It's gonna be alright, you'll see." 

I let him put me in a chair. He took my coat and wrapped me in a blanket instead. He poured me a cup of tea. "Drink. You’re shivering," he said, carving an apple.

I sniffled and wiped my chin and neck with a hem of the blanket. "I'm not cold," I mumbled, though frankly, I was. 

He put the apple on a plate next to the bread and pushed it towards me. "Drink anyway. And eat something. It'll make you feel better."

I hugged the warm cup to my chest. I sipped on the tea. I nibbled on a piece of bread. I peeked at Asra. He seemed worried and irritated, biting his lip like that and thrumming his fingers on the table. But apart from this, he was calm.

"Why are you all of the sudden so…" I looked for the right word. "not-threatening-to-kill-him?"

He considered my question for a moment. "I saw you yesterday," he said eventually. 

I huffed. "I knew you were watching, you pervert!"

"You seemed happy," he went on unperturbed. "So, I did some thinking and realised I can't lock you up nor choose people you'll like. And that Ilya can't be the only idiot in the world, so no matter how much I would warn you and try to protect you, you would end up with one anyway." 

I gave him a sour look. "Like you," I observed. 

Asra sighed with resignation. "Yeah, like me." He offered me a small, shy smile. "I'm sorry…? I was wrong, [y/n]. I got carried away. I was an idiot and I'm sorry for how awful I was to you and…  _ alright _ , to Ilya."

I felt as if a great burden was removed from my heart. My eyes filled with tears again and I broke into a smile, reaching for his hand on the table.

He squeezed mine back gratefully, then stared into space, thinking, silently, rubbing my knuckles with his thumb. "But that was before you came home crying, so I admit I want to strangle him all over again." 

_ This _ was my best friend. My chest swelled with pride but I shook my head. "He would probably like that."

Asra laughed. "Yeah."

"He's rather concerned you'd gut or flay him alive," I quoted, feeling petty. 

Asra considered it, sipping on his tea. He nodded. "I can do that."

I observed his blank face for a moment with growing unease. "But don't." 

"Okay, maybe I won't." 

"No, Asra, we're just joking. Don't." 

"Okay." 

I wasn’t convinced. "Asra…"

He finally switched back to reality and looked at me. "What do you want me to say? That I don't want to kill him? He's made you  _ cry _ , so of course I want to murder him - quickly, so he doesn't scream, and clearly, so I don't get blood on your clothes I'd wear for that, and bury him with a rusty shovel, face down, under Muriel's chicken farm's fence, on a moonless night, so the gods don't know where he lies."

The disturbingly detailed answer gave me goosebumps. "Okay..."

"But," he went on. "like I said, I'm not going to meddle in your life anymore. It's yours, you’re grown up and can decide for yourself. And I will be always there by your side in case you need my help."

I breathed out with relief. This finally sounded sane. "Thank you, sugar. I appreciate that. Your help is always welcome." 

Asra beamed. "So I  _ can _ murder him - quickly, so he doesn't scream, and clearly, so-"

"No!" I had no idea if he was joking or not and it was freaking me out. "No, please, stop."

"Oh, alright." 

We sat in silence. I had some more food, while Asra sipped on his tea. I relaxed a bit. I missed such mornings - calm, nice. Just normal.

"So, what are you going to do?" he asked after a moment. "Do you even want to talk to him?"

I frowned, feeling conflicted. Hurt and anger still burnt in my chest and stung my eyes. "I don't know. Yes and no. Maybe not yet. It was… so…  _ unfair _ to leave me like this."

Asra nodded wistfully. Suddenly, he flashed me a cunning smile. "Would you like to hex him?"

I snorted. Oh, how I've missed my dear Asra. "Good question. I really am pissed with him." 

Asra clapped and rubbed his hands. "I have a book full of spells perfect for such an occasion. I used to use it all the time when I was a teenager. And when I worked at the palace. And two weeks ago."

I chuckled, then frowned. I decided I'd ask him about it later. If I'd dare. "But on the other hand… Knowing him, I'm pretty sure he's already been torturing himself enough."

Asra sighed and rolled his eyes. "You're way too good for him."

I didn’t answer. 

“Would you like to know at least where he fled to?” he asked. 

I thought about it. I shrugged. “Okay.”

“It’s an easy spell. We just need a map, a candle and something that belongs to him.”

I frowned. “I don’t think I have anything like this…”

Asra leaned towards me with his chin on his hand, his eyes narrowed in a fox-like manner. I hated it. “Oh, I think you do.”

I didn’t understand at first. But when I did, I blushed hotly. “You’re disgusting,” I muttered.

He leaned back in the chair and shrugged. “Whatever, it's up to you. You can either personally check all his favourite places including rat holes only he knows of or stop pretending to be a virgin and go scoop on a cotton some of his…" He met my warning gaze. "...belonging."

I closed my eyes. I sighed. "Alright." 

"Great. I’ll prepare the rest in the backroom.”

Embarrassed and pouting, I stood up and walked to the bathroom. I did as I was told and met Asra downstairs. On the table, there was a map of Vesuvia and an old book. Asra was just lighting a candle at a corner of the map - current position of the sun.

I presented to him the… sample with as much dignity as it was possible. “Now what?” I grumbled.

He gave me a string. "Tie it to this."

I understood - a pendulum. When I was preparing it, Asra went through the book.

"Ready?" he asked. I nodded. "Alright. Place the pendulum over the map, right over the shop. And repeat this spell." He showed me the right passage. 

The spell was simple. I memorised it and, keeping my hand still over the right place, I chanted it. The pendulum started to sway, its motions kind of reluctant at first. Probably because, well, a part of  _ me _ also was on the cotton. But soon, its motions increased, slowly, gently, but surely. I closed my eyes and followed it, led by the two points - the owner and his belonging - striving to meet. I followed, and the calling grew clearer with each passing second.

Until the pendulum stopped.

I opened my eyes. 

Asra leaned over the map. "What's there?" he asked. 

I knew. I would never forget the day when I fell to the icy waters of the aqueduct and was bitten by that monstrosity - the vampire eel. Nor where I spent the night. "Mazelinka's hut."

"Shocking," Asra snorted and blew out the candle. "No fun, that Ilya. He hid as if he wanted to be found."

I rolled my eyes. He wasn't wrong. It was hardly even hiding. And I was tempted. 

I cleared my throat. "What's for lunch?" I asked casually, folding the map.

"Whatever you want, babe."

So, we did shopping and had lunch. For dinner, we also had whatever I wanted, but I didn't make it to it. In the evening, I gave into the temptation. I dressed up warm, and Asra kissed my cheek to mask his concern. I walked quickly through the dark streets and knocked on Mazelinka's door. She opened, seeming unimpressed. 

"Hello. I'm, um…" I mumbled. 

She let me in. "He's in the hiding hole."

Obviously. "Oh. Um. Why?" A stupid question. 

She shrugged. "He's hiding." 

Sure he is. "Do you mind if I…?"

"Make yourself at home, sweetheart. If  _ you _ don’t mind, I'll go out in case you two make up." She winked at me, wrapping herself in a shawl.

"We're not- We haven’t- Okay…" I tried to explain but she already disappeared behind the door.

I looked around, wiping my sweaty palms on my coat, suddenly not so sure of myself anymore. Step by step, I approached the door to the hiding hole. And stared at it. He was there, the bastard, I knew it, even without magic's help. My anger stirred.

I knocked on the floor. 

" _ Maz _ ?"

"No. It's [y/n]." There was a pause. He didn't answer. Coward. "May I come in?"

Another pause. " _ Y-yes. Of course _ ." 

With one last deep breath, with my heart pounding in my ears, I lifted the door. I met Julian's terrified gaze. He was looking up at me from where he was sitting cross-legged in a nest of pillows and blankets that served as a bed in the hole. I remember it suited me just fine when I slept here but Julian looked as if he took a child's place. I climbed down the ladder, and he moved away, making some space for me to sit. He had there a lamp, a couple of books, a mug. He collected those and stuffed them in a sliver of free space. I made myself more or less comfortable on a pillow. There was barely a foot between our knees. The hole was not designed for two persons. It was hardly designed for humans.

Julian cleared his throat and rubbed his neck. "So… How did you find me? I'm just curious," he added quickly.

I quirked an eyebrow. "Magic," I answered dismissively but truthfully.

Julian nodded and didn’t ask more questions. I'm sure I scared him.

"Cozy," I said, looking around. "But can you even straighten up in here?"

"Oh, yes, sure. If I put my head here" He pointed at the place where he sat. "and my legs there," He pointed at the ceiling above my head. "then yeah, I can. Pretty relaxing."

"I don't dare doubt that." 

Another awkward pause. 

"So," I sighed, cleared my throat, making Julian start. "I wanted to talk. I, um, would like to know what happened. That you disappeared. Without a word." Like a jerk.

Julian looked away and ran his fingers through his hair. "I'm so sorry," he mumbled, a dark blush already creeping up his neck and cheeks. "I…" He sighed heavily. "I'm sorry. I think I… I am a bit wrecked after… last events. Starting with the Count and the Devil, ending with Asra and all the drama about… us. And me saying things I should have kept to myself. I felt…" He swallowed, moved uneasily. "vulnerable…? And… what I told you, what you told me, it… I don't think I'm in shape for a relationship based on... and limited to... sex." He wouldn't meet my gaze. "I… I'm sorry. I should've talked to you. It was… so shameful of me to leave you like this. But I panicked, I tossed and turned whole night, riling myself up, and in the morning, I just couldn't stay in bed any longer, and I didn't want to wake you up, so I… I left." 

Tears stung my eyes. Hurt and anger ran through my veins like acid. "And hid in Mazelinka's hiding hole," I added bitterly. 

"Yes, that's lousy, I know, I'm so sorry. I just needed to think."

I huffed, my emotions taking over me. "And this is what you've come up with? That our relationship is just sex?"

"Well, maybe not. I- I mean, we…" 

My blood boiled, my cheeks burnt as if I stood in front of an open furnace. "And what about-" my voice broke as I hissed. "What about the dinner at Portia's? What about every time I came to you for comfort? Every time I protected you from Asra?!" I shouted, losing control over my voice. "Or when we ran away from him, giggling like idiots?" Now only I felt like an idiot. I snorted. "It seemed fun. At the time. I'm so sorry I was wrong, since  _ our relationship is just sex _ ."

He stared wide-eyed at me, shaking his head. "No, [y/n], listen, I-"

"What about the games we played?" I went on. "The parties we've been to?  _ Every fucking time _ I let you drag me onto the dancefloor, though you know I can't dance?! Everything we've been through! What about it?! Didn't that happen? Doesn't that matter?"

He looked everywhere but at me, flushed, breathing fast. I could sense his rising panic, dense like smoke in the tiny room. "Yes, it does- this- Oh, fuck," He covered his face with his hands. "I'm so sorry. I didn't think about this like that. I-"

"Then maybe start to! I told you how I felt about you and at no point have I suggested that all I want from you is sex!"

"Yes, you’re right, you're absolutely right. I'm really sorry. I don't what I was thinking. It's just… You said you didn’t want to change anything and I thought… I- I must've misunderstood you, I got scared, I panicked…"

"It's so unfair, Julian!" Tears rolled down my burning face and I was shaking with outrage. " _ You _ left me! You sneaked out at dawn as if  _ you _ wanted just to fuck me and never see me again. You ran away from your own house! Who does that?! Can you imagine how it made me feel? Couldn't you stand me so much?"

"No, darling, please, you know it's not true-" He reached out to me, his eyes pleading.

I shoved his hand away. I couldn't stand him, stand this. Not in this hole. "Don't you touch me!" I growled at him. "Don’t you call me this! I don't know what is true anymore." I got up, climbed up the ladder.

"[y/n],  _ please _ ," Julian moaned pitifully but I ignored him. 

I climbed out and slammed the door behind me. I stormed back into the shop, huffing and cursing under my breath. I stomped up the stairs. 

"So soon?" Asra greeted me. He was sitting with a book on our bed and a bottle of booze. Seeing me heaving with anger, he sighed and uncorked it. "Men, right?" 

Even though the occasion was shitty, the night with Asra was awesome. Just the way I needed and missed. We changed into the pyjamas and drank. I told him everything what happened between Julian and I until this evening, and he listened, nodding and braiding my hair. And groaning or snorting occasionally. But it was good. Cleansing.

"Fuck 'im," he slurred later that night, a few glasses in. He was lying on his stomach on the bed, his eyes unfocused and cheeks flushed. Three braids I made on him myself stuck out in different directions. "Fuck 'im, I'm telling you, babe. You’re gorgeous, you can have anyone." 

"But I don't want anyone. I want  _ him _ ," I whined from a bunch of pillows I nested in on the floor. I was slightly surprised that I said it and it was how I felt. "Oh my  _ fucking _ god..." I mumbled. 

Asra hiccupped. "You can have 'im, then," he announced like it was the most obvious thing in the world. 

"But you told me to fuck him," I reminded him, utterly confused, with my lips against the rim of my glass. It was the second time I wanted to take a swig and the second time I forgot it was already empty. I groaned in disappointment. Again. 

Asra scratched his head, making the braids sway, and wrinkling his nose as if wanting to sneeze - he was  _ thinking _ . "I guess you can do that, too. It'll definitely bring him back."

"No!" I slammed my glass on the mattress. "Asra! You're not helping!"

He gasped with outrage and dragged himself up on his knees. He gasped again. He frowned. "What were we talking about?"

"Julian!" 

"Oh, yeah, that tit." He reached down over the edge of the bed and fished the still half-full bottle from between my pillows.

"Was it right next to me the whole time?" I wondered. 

He poured us another round, spilling only a little on me and the mattress. "Listen," he said. "The point is… um…" He pressed his fist to his forehead and squeezed his eyes shut. "Ah... Oh, right. Listen. Cheers." He clinked his glass with mine.

"Oh  _ gods _ , Asra!" I moaned impatiently but drank with him anyway. 

He coughed. " _ Listen _ . People are... complicated."

"No  _ shit _ ."

"No, no,  _ listen _ ," He waved his hands urgently and again closed his eyes in concentration. "Before I forget. Um… Yeah. Relationships are…  _ difficult _ . Two persons, two so different, individual souls, so close, physically and mentally… I mean, it's impossible for them not to…  _ clash _ , y'know? Things just… go to hell every now and then, right?" He took another sip of his drink and touched one of his braids pensively. "Am I making any sense?" 

"Surprisingly, yes," I nodded. 

"Yeah, right? So. I mean, it's up to you. If you really care, you solve the problem, forgive and forget. If you don’t, you say thank you and goodbye.  _ Damn _ , can you imagine me turn my back on you when you decided to do actual fucking opposite of everything I told you  _ not  _ to do with Ilya?"

"No," I grunted. " _ But _ I forgave you your bitching about it!"

He nodded feverishly, his eyes and smile wide. "That's what I mean! Because you love me!"

"Of course I do, you nitwit!" 

"I know, honey. And I love you."

I took in a sharp breath, my chest and stomach clenching with a wave of emotions and nausea, my vision blurry, and not because of the alcohol. I climbed clumsily on the bed and threw myself into Asra's open arms, knocking him flat on his back. He hugged me fondly, nuzzling his face into my hair.

"And after all,  _ fuck _ , it was just a misunderstanding, [y/n]. You two need to chill,  _ gods _ , such drama queens..." he mumbled, then sighed sleepily. His body relaxed and his breath evened.

I sniffled quietly but didn't stop the tears rolling down my nose and temple on his shoulder. "Asra?" I moaned softly.

"Mm?"

"What should I do?"

He kissed my forehead. "Whatever feels right, babe."

A moment later, he was asleep. I wish I could say the same about myself. My head was heavy, spinning with alcohol, and I just couldn't stop crying. I tossed and turned next to Asra, feeling too hot, too cold, too tired and too uneasy, tortured with a headache and dreams of Julian. I saw his mesmerizing eyes on me, his sweet smile, his lips soft and warm on my knuckles, my cheek, my lips, his tongue in my mouth, his hand curled in my hair on my nape, his hips between my thighs. I woke up right after the moment I believed nothing happened and everything was alright. But wasn't it? A second later, I nodded off again and dreamt of us talking, apologising, of Julian's head bent down humbly. I cupped his cheeks tenderly and said everything was fine, and he said he loved me, and I said I loved him back. We shared a sweet, long kiss and he wrapped his arms tightly around my waist, as if to never let me go again. I felt his smile on my skin, his dear heart pounding against my chest. The time slowed down and stopped. There was just us, holding each other lovingly, forgetting about all the problems. What problems...? 

A knock on the door pulled me out of the cruel nightmares playing with my mind and heart. I resurfaced and remember when and where I was. I frowned. It wasn't much better. I sat up, trembling, panting. I was sweaty and cold, my wet clothes and hair stuck to my skin. The world spun like a carousel, pain shot through my head and I fell back on the bed with a groan. 

"Julian...? Asra? What?" I mumbled. 

The knocking repeated.

Asra stirred next to me. "Wha- What…?"

"Who is it? The door. What time is it?" I whined, rubbing my face and starting crying all over again just because I was so tired and bothered. Or maybe I didn’t stop crying at all since last night?

"I'll open." Asra sat up and merely yawned and stretched before he jumped out of the bed and walked out of our room. I've never seen him hangover, the lucky bastard.

I heard him walk down the stairs and open the door a second after the third knocking. Somehow, I knew who it was. My heart jumped up to my throat. I scrambled out of the tangled sheets and looked frantically for my robe.

" _ [y/n]? _ " Asra called me from downstairs, making me start. " _ Julian's asking if you're home _ ."

Oh no, he was giving me a choice. Was I? Wasn't I? Yes? No? Yes? No? "Y-yes!" I called back, wrapping the robe around myself. Thank gods, right before I stepped out from the room, I remembered I was still wearing the stupid braids. I untangled them with trembling fingers as I walked downstairs. I must had looked like shit. I found Asra and Julian at the door. Frankly, they didn’t look any better. Asra’s hair was still braided and his eyes were kind of blurry. Julian was unhealthily pale and there was a deep, dark circle under his visible eye, as if he had a hell of a night like I did.

Asra was the first to make a move. He squeezed my hand as he passed me by. "Call me if you need me, honey," he told me, not even trying to do it quietly. He also pressed a slightly too long kiss to my cheek and threw Julian a glare over his shoulder before he returned to the bedroom. 

Then, Julian and I were left alone. He wasn't looking at me. My heart was pounding uncomfortably, making me dizzy, and ice-cold chills ran up and down my spine.

I hated confrontations. And hangovers. I’ll never drink again. 

"Yes?" I choked out.

His eye, wide with fear, shot up to me. He swallowed hard. "I just… I just have something to say. If I may."

Why did it sound so bad? My stomach twisted but I nodded. I came up to him. "I'm listening," I said, my voice strangled.

Julian looked away, gathering his thoughts. He blushed hotly and swallowed again. I could hear him clench and unclench his gloved hands behind his back. Eventually, he closed his eyes and spoke quietly but surely, "I just want to tell you that I'm terribly ashamed of what I've done and said. I drew wrong conclusions, acted like a coward and treated you outrageously. I… I wish I could make it up to you. I wish you could forgive me, maybe one day. But I don’t dare ask you of this. You have the very right not to speak to me again. Just know that I deeply regret how the things between us ended."

My heart sunk.  _ Ended… _ ?

"I’ll never forgive myself that I let it happen," he went on. "That I deprived myself of the company of such a remarkable... kind... beautiful woman. And of such a good friend." He paused, hesitated. I waited with my heart hammering, my head unpleasantly light. The leather of his gloves creaked again when he curled his fists, making up his mind. "But I don't regret falling for you," he choked out, so quietly I barely heard him. "I only regret I couldn't appreciate how you felt about me. I regret being a greedy, ungrateful idiot," he spit out the words, baring his teeth with self-loathing. But then he sighed in defeat. "Still, the few moments I was blessed to spend with you were the happiest of my life." He offered me the weakest of smiles. It faded within a second. He stared back at the floor. "Thank you. And I'm sorry." He hesitated as if he thought of saying more. But he shook his head. "Goodbye." He bowed shortly, elegantly but stiffly, then turned around and left.

I opened my mouth and took a step forward but the door already closed behind him. I didn't even know what I was going to say. I stood there, rooted to the spot, shaken, torn. I was cold, my cheeks were wet... I'd no idea at which point I started to cry. 

"How are you?" Asra asked softly from the stairs, startling me anyway. 

I narrowed my eyes at him accusingly. "You were eavesdropping!" I sobbed.

He ignored me. "Oh honey, don’t cry," he said gently, coming up to me.

I let him hug me but I didn't crumble this time. I was sick of crying. I wiped my face with a hand. "I'm fine," I choked out. 

Asra gave me a proud look. "Determined, I see."

"I won't let it end. Nothing happened. It was just a misunderstanding." 

"There's my girl," he praised me and kissed my forehead. "But shouldn’t you take a nap before you start acting? You're barely standing straight." 

"I'm fine," I lied. It was taking all my willpower to keep my eyes open. 

Asra smirked. "Oh really? How many fingers can you see?" He raised two fingers. 

"Screw you," I snorted and pushed him away half-heartedly. "I can see perfectly three stupid braids on your head."

His eyes went wide and he touched his hair tentatively. "Oh  _ fuck,  _ I completely forgot about them." He nodded. "That's why Ilya looked like he might have a heart attack when he saw me."

I laughed. "Poor Julian. It's a terrible view, really." 

"Ha ha. As if you were so pretty right now." He wrapped an arm around my shoulders and yawned loudly. "Come on, let’s go back to bed. It's so fucking early."

"I don't know, Asra. I'm too nervous, I can't sleep. I'd rather fix this already." 

"He won't run away. And if he will, we'll find him again."

"I don't know…"

"Honey, please. Some beauty sleep. Take some valerian. Don't you want to cure this hangover?" 

I sighed, giving up. "Alright."

We returned upstairs. Asra found valerian drops in the kitchen, and I took some with the rest of yesterday cold tea. We drew the curtains and crawled back to bed. 

"How come you're never hungover?" I asked, feeling myself drift off already thanks to the herbs.

"Because it sucks," he answered.

Useless, I thought. Then, I fell asleep, blissfully, dreamlessly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next and last chapter (I know I said it about like previous three chapters but this time the next one will really be the last one, I swear!) - The Joker


	7. The Joker: chapter and epilogue

When I recovered and mustered the courage to meet Julian, it was already past sunset. Asra made me drink and eat, though my stomach was clenched with tension. He did my hair (well this time) and helped me dress up. Before I left, he kissed my forehead and booped my nose, forcing me to break into a small smile.

I walked to the clinic, quickly, my breath short, my hands cold and trembling. I got there. I hesitated. The window upstairs was closed and dark. I walked to the back door anyway. I knocked and waited. There was no answer. _ Obviously _. I knocked again, louder, longer. Still nothing. Finally, I just pushed the door and found it opened. I stepped inside. 

"Julian?" I called up, towards his flat.

No answer still. I took the stairs with growing unease. My imagination went wild. The worst scenarios rushed through my mind, and I quickened my step. I needed to see him.

"Julian?" I called one more time into the flat, my voice breaking with fear. But then, I noticed him.

He was sitting on the floor, leaning on the armchair, staring at the cold hearth. He was nursing a bottle of liquor but it wasn't even open. He looked exhausted, even sick. When he finally looked at me, he did so indifferently. Only after a second, he blinked, a spark of recognition shone and disappeared in his dull gaze.

"Are you really here?"

A stupid question. I ignored it. "Did you hope I'd go away if you wouldn’t answer?" 

He looked away. "I guess." 

What a dick. "Why are you sitting in the dark?"

He shrugged. "Don't know. Don't care. Waiting to die, I suppose." 

And a drama queen. "Are you drunk?" 

He snorted, then laughed. He raised the bottle. "I bought it yesterday. Somehow I can't bring myself to open it."

Well, at least that was good. "It's cold in here," I noticed. "Aren't you cold? Have you eaten anything lately? Have you slept?" 

He waved his hand dismissively. "I don't care. And I don't know who would." 

He was getting on my nerves. "I would. I care."

He gave me a quizzical look. "Why?"

"What kind of a dumbass question is that?" I snapped at him. "Of course I care for you. Haven’t you noticed yet?"

He stared back at the fireplace, his face contorted now, sad, painful. 

"Oh Julian," I sighed, feeling terribly tired. "Why? All of this. What the hell happened? _ Fuck _, nothing happened! Unless I did something wrong...?"

He didn't answer, he didn't move. Then, he sighed heavily and his voice broke. He covered his eyes with his hand and then, his shoulders started to tremble. He shook his head frantically. 

"No, [y/n], no. It's me. I'm so sorry," he sobbed, his voice choked. I barely understood him. "I really am so, so sorry. I was weak, I'm sorry. I was weak and tired and so _ scared _ . I didn't want to-" He took a shaky breath, wiped his cheek with the back of his hand. "I wouldn't stand another rejection. I couldn't be used again, I wouldn't take it. I ran away without a word like a coward I am because it was fast and easy!" he growled, tugging on his hair. Then he sighed, and the sigh turned into another sob. "but you didn’t deserve it," he went on, his voice small. "You’re sweet and kind, and you’ve been nothing but good to me." He squeezed his wet, red-rimmed eyes shut, shook his head. "I love you," he breathed. "I fell for you so stupidly _ hard _ and now, I can’t sleep, I can't eat. Oh god, I can't even drink!" He tossed the bottle away with disdain. It hit the floor with a clink and rolled away. "I can't _ do _ anything without you and all I can _ think _ about is you, _ you _ , it's only _ you _ ! I see you everywhere, I can hear your voice wherever I go. Oh _ fuck _ ! I feel so _ guilty _ , I'm so _ ashamed _. I left you, I hurt you and I can't even understand how it was a good idea anymore!" He took his head in his hands, curling his fists in his hair, and burst with tears again.

And I couldn't just stand and watch anymore.

I ran up to him, sat on the armchair, wrapped my arms around his shaking shoulders and brought his head to my lap. "Hush, hush, it's enough, sweetie," I cooed, stroking his hair. "It's alright, Julian. I see now, hush. It's alright, it's alright." 

"I'm so sorry," he whimpered, his head falling helplessly on my thighs.

"I know, dear, I know. I'm not angry anymore. I understand. It's alright. I should have understood earlier. I shouldn't have yelled at you. I shouldn't have left like that. I'm sorry, sweetheart. Hush, please, hush..." I repeated softly and held him, I smoothed his hair and back as he cried. Slowly, he was calming down. I pressed my cheek to his head and squeezed his shoulders. "That's it. Just breathe, my dear. Enough crying. Nothing happened." 

He was silent for a while longer, just hugging his cheek to my lap and sniffling quietly. "I don't understand," he murmured suddenly. 

"What, silly?" I kissed the top of his head. "That I hate to see you cry?" 

"No. Yes… too. But I… I was selfish." He wiped his face with his sleeve, then looked up at me at last, his eyes glossy and puffy. "I hurt you. Why are you still so good?"

"Oh come on, '_ hurt me' _." I waved my hand dismissively. "Don't exaggerate, you didn't actually break my heart, and I'm not made of glass either." I offered him a light smile. He nodded but to me, he didn't seem convinced. I sighed and brushed his hair away from his forehead as affectionately as I could. "Everybody makes mistakes, my sweetheart. And everybody deserves a second chance."

He looked away and blinked, and more tears rolled down his flushed face and dripped on my thigh. "Why? What did I do to deserve anything?"

"Oh please, Julian, cut the drama." I flicked his nose delicately, earning a snort and a small, shy smile from him. Finally. "You're only human, don’t be so harsh on yourself. I told you - I care for you. I don’t want this to end."

He was still for a moment. When I was about to say something more, he moved on his knees in front of me, took my hands in his and kissed them reverently. "I will _ not _ doubt ever again, I swear. I won't let you down never, _ ever _ again, I promise, I swear, my dear, my sweetest. I'll never leave you again." 

I gently curled my fingers around his chin and guided his face up to me, and he followed nicely. I pulled my sleeves on my palms and wiped his cheeks and chin with them. His long, wet lashes fluttered, he closed his eyes and turned his head, pressed his lips to the insides of my hands, to my wrists.

"Are you really here?" he repeated softly. 

I chuckled, shaking my head. "Yes. Are _ you _here, Julian?"

He nodded. He looked at me, and it made my aching heart swell with warmth.

He didn't need to tell me he loved me - it was all in his eyes.

"There's no place I'd rather be," he breathed. His gaze fell on my lips but he averted it quickly. "I'm sorry," he apologised, I didn’t know for what this time, but I was dying to kiss him, too.

I leaned closer, tipped his chin up and captured his lips with mine. They were dry and chapped, and his breath hitched, but he didn't move away. His hands moved to my face to tentatively cup my cheeks.

I flinched and giggled, startling him. "Your hands are cold again," I explained. 

"Sorry," he mumbled and moved them to my shoulders. "Maybe I'll-"

I shook my head and cut him off with another kiss. He purred gratefully and it had my blood hum like sparkling wine. I opened my thighs and moved closer to him. His arms wrapped around my back and we kissed and kissed and kissed, tenderly, joyfully, sighing softly with relief of being close again. 

"I love you," he breathed against my lips. 

"I know." I kissed him deeply, slid my tongue into his mouth and he took it greedily. I curled my fingers in his hair, I crossed my legs behind him, kept him flush against me, and he moaned, melting in my arms. He pulled me tight to his heaving chest, opened his mouth for me, kissed me back with eagerness and zeal I missed so much.

When I pulled away and he looked at me, his eyes were still wet. I kissed his lips, his forehead, his temple. "Will you do something for me?"

"Anything."

I smiled, caressed his cheek. "Take care of yourself." 

He looked surprised but nodded.

"Starting now." I kissed the tip of his nose. "Take a shower, I'll make you dinner."

"Oh. You don't have to-"

"I want to. Go."

He gifted me with another small smile."Whatever you say," he agreed. "Thank you, my angel." He pressed one last, lingering kiss to my lips, then stood up and walked away to the bathroom. 

When I heard the water, I breathed deeply. I found myself smiling. I went to the kitchen and… struggled to cook. It wasn't easy to make something out of nearly nothing: stale bread and honey, but I managed.

I didn't hear Julian coming up to me. First, I felt his hand lying gently on my back, then his wet curls on my temple and lips on my cheek. He smelled of soap and mint and fresh clothes, and I couldn't stop the smile that bloomed on my lips. I turned to him and pushed the plate with the toasts soaked with honey into his hands. 

"Eat," I ordered.

He chuckled. "Yes, ma'am."

We sat at his tiny dining table. He ate obediently, holding hands with me, stroking my knuckles with his thumb. He sighed deeply after the first bite. He was starving, obviously, the dumbass. 

"How are you feeling, darling?" he asked suddenly, looking at me with a frown.

I hefted my feelings. These were light. "I'm better."

He nodded. "That's good. You looked… tired. In the morning." 

"Thank you for such a generous adjective," I huffed, making Julian smile. "I was. But Asra took care of me."

He nodded again, looking away, blushing slightly. "Of course. Of course he did. That’s good. I'm glad you two made up."

We were silent for a moment. Then, he snorted.

I smiled. "What?"

"What did he have on his head?" he whispered fearfully.

Oh right. The braids. "Why? Didn't you like my handiwork?"

"You did this to him? I almost dropped dead when I saw him."

"Yeah, he told me so."

"I really did. I was so nervous I was sick. I could barely breathe," he admitted, staring at our hands. "I was so scared you wouldn't even want to see me. I don't know what I would do if you wouldn’t."

I squeezed his hand with both of mine. "Don't think about it. It’s alright now."

He shook his head and looked up at me miserably. "I don't know, [y/n]. The memory of this… _ hairstyle _ is going to haunt me in my dreams."

I shook with soundless laughter. "Don't tell Asra. He'll take any chance to remind you."

"Oh god, no, please."

We shared another smile and a blissful moment of silence. 

"Speaking of which," I said. "Will you sleep? Or do you want me to give you something?" 

He hesitated. "And... will you… stay? For the night?"

I didn’t hesitate. "Yes."

His smile was so absurdly beautiful I could cry. He brought my hand to his lips and pressed a lingering kiss to my knuckles. "Then no, I don't need anything else." 

He finished the luxurious meal I served him and we moved to the bedroom. I changed into my - Julian's - shirt and went to bed. Julian put out the lights and lied down as well.

On the other end of the bed.

"Don't be ridiculous. Come here," I laughed and opened my arms. 

He raised on an elbow. "May I...?" he asked shyly.

I found his hand, then arm and shoulder in the darkness. I pulled him to me by his shirt. "You may. You _ should _. I missed you."

He moved closer to me, lied down with his head on my chest and one leg hooked over mine, and I wrapped my arms around him. He sighed deeply, contently, nuzzled his face in the crook of my neck and slid his arm under my back, hugging me tightly. "I missed you, too, my darling. So much."

"It's alright now. Goodnight, sweetheart."

"Goodnight, my love."

We stilled. Time passed. I tried to even my breath and stop my rushing thoughts to make myself sleep. But I was fully conscious. Julian was so warm, so _ close _ and uneasy. I could feel his heart pound against mine and his chest rise and fall on mine. His breath and fluttering eyelashes tickled my skin. His fingers stroked my back - absentmindedly, innocently, it seemed, but it made heat pool in my groin.

It hurt. My clit throbbed. The muscles of my core clenched and I felt empty. I felt desperate, more and more with each passing second. My sex pulsed with my quickening heartbeat, driving me insane. My fingers twitched in Julian’s hair and clenched on the shirt on his back. 

I held my breath when he moved, just a little bit, almost not at all. But then, I felt his hot mouth open and close on my neck, and my heart skipped a beat. He kissed me again, tentatively, questioningly. His hand moved an inch lower down my back, his knee nudged the inside of my thigh. _ Oh gods _, I could feel his cock twitch against my hip. I didn't stop myself and sighed, and the soft sound seemed so loud in the dark. And then I felt his tongue, just the tip darting between his parted lips. It slid up my raging pulse point as Julian's hand smoothed its way from under my back, over my ribs, under my breast, and his lips brushed the sweet spot under my ear.

I had to bit my lip to contain a moan.

"Angel, you're shaking," he breathed.

Yes, I was. But my hand was steady when I moved it up his back and neck and when my fingers found his mouth. His hot breath ghosted over my fingertips, and I bent my neck down, and our lips found each other without a problem. Our kiss was chaste for just a second before it turned deep, hurried, hungry, greedy - we wasted no time hiding our lust for each other's bodies. I hooked my leg over his thigh, and he pulled it up to his hip, and rose on an elbow, covering me with his body. I rode his thigh between my legs, rubbed my aching sex against it, mewling with so little relief it gave. I didn't care about my shame or pride, and neither did he as he rutted his hardening cock on the crease of my thigh. 

I pulled his shirt off of his back and it ended up on the floor. My shirt was next. Julian went lower, leaving hot, open-mouthed kisses down my throat and collarbone and chest. I cupped my breast and guided my nipple into his mouth. I gasped and he moaned as he sucked on it. He swirled his tongue around it and I arched into him, rolled my hips impatiently against his groin. 

"Julian," I breathed pleadingly.

He hooked a finger over my panties and pulled them down just enough to touch me. His beautiful, long fingers slid easily between the folds of my sex, already wet and swollen with my arousal. I drew in a sharp breath and bucked up into his hand, and his finger slid into me so easily.

I purred with utter delight. "More."

He moved up and kissed me again before pushing two fingers inside me.

I threw my head back, clenching around them. "More!" I moaned.

"Fucking hell, [y/n]," he growled, rising just for a second, to kick off his pants, while I hastily got rid of my underwear. Then, he was back on top of me, nothing between us, hot skin on skin, his lips back on mine, and we kissed like it's been a forever since the last one, and it felt like this. I couldn't get enough of his mouth, his tongue, his taste. Mouths open, we devoured, savoured each other, bodies moving sensually together, rutting, rubbing, hands rediscovering, feeling, fondling, anywhere they reached. I smoothed my hands down his neck, raked his back with my nails, and he groaned and groped my buttock, rolling his hips between my thighs, as I raised mine, rubbing his cock between our bodies. I reached for it, took it into my hand and pumped it languidly, firmly, feeling his mouth go slack on mine. I put my tongue inside and he sucked on it eagerly, swirled his against it. I treated him with a sharp, vicious bite on the lip, and he yelped in pain, and laughed, and reached under my thigh. He forced two fingers up my cunt and slid his thumb over my wet clit, making me cry out and bare my neck for him, and he didn't wait, he bit me back, and licked, and sucked, fucking me with his fingers the way that made my legs shake.

"Ohh, I _ want _ you," he groaned hoarsely into my ear. He licked me behind the lobe, then bit it, slid his tongue inside, and simultaneously, he stuffed his fingers so deep into me, pressed his palm to my clit. " _ Right now _."

He's been driving me wild, making me fucking _ whimper _ and buck into his hand like a bitch in heat. I even forgot to touch him.

But I took great pleasure in pushing him off of me, I bet I scared the shit out of him. I pinned him down and straddled his hips, and as much as I dreamt of teasing him to tears, I wanted him so bad it hurt. I reached behind me, rose and sank on his glorious cock with a shameless, relieved moan, loud enough to drown out his.

His hands curled bruisingly hard on my hips and, in the dark, I more sensed that saw his heated glare on me.

"Oh, _ you... little _…" He shook his head, voice rumbling dangerously.

I hovered over him; my hand closed around his neck. "Little what?" I dared him, squeezed his cock, rolled my hips sharply, pulling a choked grunt from him, and my eyes fluttered shut with delight. "Little _ what _?" I repeated, pushing on his throat, making him let out a sharp breath, as I rode him with small, short moves, just for my pleasure. "Don't tell me I scared you, doctor," I cooed teasingly.

Julian shook underneath me with laughter. "I fucking love you so much," he breathed before he shoved my hand away, pulling me on top of him. With one hand twisted in my hair, he drew me in for a fierce kiss, with the other he held my hips steady as he braced his feet on the mattress and started to pound into me with abandon, with aggression, leaving me breathless.

Suddenly, he grabbed one of my hands and pushed it between us. "Touch yourself," he ordered. "I want to feel you come."

I didn't dare refuse. I began to rub my clit, and Julian slowed down, and wrapped his hand around my throat this time. I whimpered when he pushed me up.

"Oh _ yes _," he groaned, staring at my hand working between my legs. With his other hand, he gripped my waist and started to manoeuvre me up and down on his cock. "So lovely. Are you good, baby? Are you feeling good?"

"_ Yes _," I moaned. The angle was different now. His cock pressed deeper into me, brushed harder against the front wall of my core, sending white-hot thrills down my spine. Just a few moves were enough for my eyes to squeeze shut and my mouth fall open.

After the last, failed fuck, this felt like heaven. 

"Mmm, perfect," Julian hummed. He let go of my waist and rose on his hand, rolling his hips up into me, giving me yet another, slightly different sensation, making my breath hitch and my fingers sped up on me. "I just love you on top of me," he whispered, his lips merely an inch away from mine. _ Gods _ , I was dying to have him kiss me again. "You look _ so _ hot riding me." His hand smoothed up to my jaw, his thumb brushed over my bottom lip. "Not that I didn't enjoy the view of you down," I heard him smirk. "on your knees, in front of me, choking on my cock. We have to repeat that, don't you think, my angel?"

I only moaned again in answer. He didn't let me say much even if I could find words - he slid his thumb into my open mouth and purred when I closed my lips around it, and he pushed it deep, deep inside, swiping it over my tongue and palate, almost, oh _ almost _ making me gag. I sucked and swirled my tongue around it, and his hips sped up, to the point I was bouncing on his lap.

I opened my mouth, letting out an abrupt cry, and gripped his shoulder, panting, shaking.

Julian took out the finger and wrapped his arm around my waist, keeping me still, fucking me faster. "_ Yes _ , darling, yes! _ Come _, come for me, give it to me, let me feel it, I need to feel it."

I clung to him, pressed my cheek to his temple, pressed my fingers to my clit, completely lost and helpless to the fire spreading between my legs. With my heart pounding, my breath rushing, my voice raising, finally, inevitably, it _ burst _ , consuming me whole, making me tense and jerk, and scream, and whimper, and moan, and _ fuck _, I was rendered breathless as waves of ecstasy washed over me again and again, neverending, driving me out of my numbed mind.

Only after they subsided, I heard Julian coo sweet nothings into my ear, felt him force his cock into my clenched cunt in long, slow, patient moves, prolonging my bliss.

"Fuck yes, _ baby _, yes, yes… Good, oh so good, my darling, my love, it was so good. You're divine, you're amazing…"

I slowly came down from my high, shaken with aftershocks, soothed with his praises. My breath hitched when he sat up, sitting me fully on his cock, still so hard and hot inside me, when I was so sensitive after my orgasm. My head was spinning, it rolled back limply, and he wrapped both arms around me and lavished my bared neck with wet, lazy kisses, tasting my skin, purring with delight.

"What now?" I choked out, feeling dizzy. "What would you like?"

He hummed pensively, nibbling on the shell of my ear, making me shiver. His hands stroked my sweaty back, smoothed down to my buttocks, fondly groped the full, soft flesh. One stayed there, the other moved up my side to my breast, to knead it, to roll my hard nipple between the fingers.

I whined quietly and writhed on his lap. It was a lot to take now.

"And what can I get?" he asked coyly, at last looking up at me, eyes hooded and dark.

My blood boiled again with anticipation. "Anything."

The smile that spread on his lips was absolutely devilish. Without a word, he raised me off of him and flipped me on the bed. I fell gracelessly on my back, and he grabbed a pillow, scooped my legs up and shoved it under my hips. "If you say _ anything _, angel," he murmured, placing my weak legs together on his shoulder, lining against my loose entrance. "then be good and come for me again." Before I protested, he thrusted back into me and started to fuck me slowly. He pressed a kiss to my knee with a content sigh.

"I don't know if I can," I whimpered quietly but it didn't stop him from pushing his thumb between my thighs and sweeping it lightly over my wet, swollen clit. I cried and arched, and tried to squirm away, but he held me tight. I reached to his hand, grabbed his wrist. "Please, please, it's too much, too much!" I sobbed.

He just fucked me harder, stroked me harder, and my hands fell to the mattress, seeking support.

"Tell me to stop," I heard him pant, his breath hot on my leg.

I didn't understand, I must have misheard him.

He broke the rhythm once with a deep, vicious thrust, which made me cry out and grip the sheets. "Tell me to stop!" he dared me, never ceasing to touch me. "If you don't want this, tell me to _ stop _" Another brutal push, another broken scream. "and I will, and I won't touch you for the rest of the night, I promise. I'll just fuck you till I'm satisfied, and oh, [y/n], darling," He pinned me with a sultry gaze. "I'm hungry tonight."

A whimper escaped my throat. Heat, sharp and painful, started to stir in my groin all over again. I trembled and unintentionally clenched around his cock inside me, making myself gasp and Julian hum and close his eyes.

"So how it's gonna be, sweetie?" he kept taunting me. "Will you let me again enjoy your orgasm? Or will you disappoint me?" He made his point with a hard bite on the side of my thigh. He chuckled at my choked out curse. "Will you… cheer me up if you do?"

I fell back with a helpless sob. His dirty words sent thrills through my body just like the insistent stimulation. "_ Please… _" I whined nonsensically. I fisted my hands in the sheets, squirmed experimentally, just to see if he was serious.

A sharp spank I earned was my answer.

"Will you submit to me?" he went on. "Will you let me use you till I come? Will this little, nimble tongue of yours lick me clean afterwards? Will your pretty mouth make me hard again? So I can fuck you one more time while you're still so nicely loose and wet?"

"Fu-uck, Julian!" I whimpered. I made another, half-hearted attempt to push his hand away from me and gave up quickly. I didn't know why I even tried. I didn't know what I wanted. I couldn't even decide if he was giving me more pain or pleasure.

He rolled his head back with a blissful smile. "Oh, I'd put you on your knees, press you down to the bed, so I could see all of you. See your poor, abused pussy leak with my come, stretch and take my cock over and over again, right, baby?"

If he wanted a coherent answer, he wouldn't get one from me. I couldn't think, couldn't make up my mind, couldn't help but see his filthy fantasies with my mind's eye.

"With you exposed like this, I wouldn't stop myself, I'd play with your asshole, how about that, sweetness? I'd play with it nice and slow, I'd open it up, bit by bit, gently, slick it with your juice, pump my seed inside with my fingers, only one at first, just one. Oh, it would slide inside so easily, baby, do you know? Do you know how smooth and hot you're in there?" His hips lost the rhythm for a split second, and he laughed hoarsely at distracting his own self with his dirty talk, I guess. He bit his lip and tightened his grip on me, and I only protested weakly. I was out of my mind, already balancing on the edge. "Then I'd put in two fingers," he continued. "Even slower, darling, I'm patient. I'd work you up till they slip in on their own, _ ohh _ , till _ you _ push on them to take them deeper. Oh yes, you would," he assured me and kissed my knee when I whimpered. "You would take three. _ Fuck _, yes, I'd love to see your ass stretch around three fingers. Mmm, the sounds you'd make…" He eyed me hungrily, licked his parted lips. "Would you like that, sweetie? Would you like me to fuck your sweet, little bottom? Would you like to feel my cock push in there, make this tight, tiny hole of yours stretch and let me in? Would you like to know how it is to have your ass full of a thick, hard cock…?"

And that was it. I gave up, I broke, I fell, fell so hard, screaming, sobbing, panting. My eyes rolled back, my vision went black, my muscles flexed painfully, made me curl up, press on Julian's dick and fingers, wanting it over, wanting more, this exquisite torture making me lose my mind.

Over my noises, I heard Julian moan and pant as he finally left my aching clit alone and gripped my hip, and fucked me with short, sharp moves, finishing himself. I fell back on the bed, just relaxed, just let him have me just for his pleasure, not without enjoying the sweet pain of slight abuse. I opened my eyes and met his desperate gaze on me. I reached out and grabbed his hand on my hip, squeezed it, and he squeezed it back. I mustered rests of my energy and clenched my inner muscles around him, making him throw his head back with a gasp. After a second, he groaned brokenly, gripped my thigh hard enough to leave bruises, pushed into me so deep it made whine and shake all over again. I felt his cock twitch and pulse as it filled me with his seed. He stayed like this for a forever, almost not moving, almost not breathing. At last, with a long, satisfied sigh, he let go off me, pulled out from me. He put my legs gently down, then collapsed on the bed right next to me, catching his breath.

I rolled on my side and clung to him with my head in the crook of his neck, and right away, he wrapped an arm around my shoulders and pressed a kiss to my forehead. I looked up at him and found him smiling stupidly.

"You didn't stop me," he noticed, his voice dripping with satisfaction.

I shrugged, smiling as well "Maybe I like it when you're being a jerk," I murmured casually. "Maybe I like your trash talk, doctor Devorak."

He chuckled, then sighed again, his body relaxing. "I'll keep that in mind, princess."

***

In the morning, I woke up, again, alone.

But today, I could hear Julian bustle in the kitchen.

I stretched with a content moan and slid out from the bed. I picked up from the floor the shirt, that definitely wasn't Julian's anymore, and slipped into it, padding to the kitchen. It was filled with sweet, warm smell. Julian was bent over the stove, bearing a pan. He was wearing only the soft pants he slept in.

I tiptoed to him from behind and wrapped my arms around his naked torso.

He started and mock-yelped. "Oh dear god, I have not heard you sneak up on me _ at all _," he confessed in blank voice.

I nuzzled my face between his shoulderblades, smiling, feeling utterly, stupidly happy. "Making breakfast, sweetheart?" 

He turned to me and leaned to press a kiss to my lips. "Pancakes, my sweetest darling."

I frowned, snuggling to his side. "How come you have ingredientes?"

"I went shopping while you slept."

I raised my eyebrows. It was still so early. "When? Before dawn?"

He snorted. "_ No _, don't be silly. Nothing's open before dawn." He flipped another pancake on a plate and prepared another one. "A moment after dawn."

I shook my head. "You're crazy."

He kissed the top of my head. "No, you are."

I didn't protest. "May I make myself tea?"

"Sure, it's yours."

"And where is it?"

"Oh, right, sorry. In the cupboard." He pointed at the one he meant. "I'll boil the water." 

I reached up, opened the cupboard and found the tea can. On the very top shelf.

Damn.

I stood on my tiptoes, flexed and strained but I only managed to push it deeper into the cupboard.

"Fuck," I swore.

I heard a chuckle behind me. "Oh sorry, I didn't think. Here, let me."

I stepped aside to make room for him but instead of taking the can for me, he wrapped his arms around my thighs and lifted me up like I weighed nothing. Like this, I reached the can effortlessly. 

But he didn't put me down. 

I bit my smiling lips. "It's alright, Julian, I've got it." 

"Great," he murmured, hugging his cheek to my belly and swaying us gently. 

I stroked his hair, chuckling. "Put me down so I can kiss you."

This worked. He flashed me a dreamy smile and put me down, and I took his beautiful face in my hands and brought his lips to mine. We kissed slowly, unhurriedly, sweetly, melting in each other's arms. After we parted, we kept hugging, silently, just being close and warm. Julian stooped, hiding his face in my neck, smoothing his hands up and down my back, and I pressed my cheek to his chest, listening to his beautiful heartbeat. I kept stroking his hair. He hummed contentedly, and I smiled. He liked it. I liked it.

"I love you," I whispered almost unintentionally. 

First, I felt his heart speed up. His cheek grew hot against my skin. After a long, long moment, he spoke calmly, "You don't have to say it just for me, my dear."

I knew I didn't. "What if it's true?"

His embrace tightened. My heart skipped a beat. "Do you really?" he breathed, so softly, fearfully, hope clear in his voice. 

"You're my joy," I said, words pouring from the bottom of my heart. "My heart. My soul. My dearest darling. I love you. So much." 

His arms wrapped even tighter around me and his smiling lips pressed to the crook of my neck. I did my best to hold him as hard. My heart was pounding just like his, overflowing with happiness I have never, ever felt in my life. I felt like I had my whole world in my arms.

"You're my whole world," he whispered hotly into my ear, speaking my mind.

"I'm all yours," I assured him, and he laughed, sincerely, wholeheartedly, picking me up, peppering my neck and cheek with kisses. He looked at me with love and wonder, and his happiness was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen, and I would gladly watch it for the rest of my life.

But in a moment. A pancake started to burn.

***

So, the crazy story triggered by lack of a furniture, a stupid game and too much booze somehow reached its happy ending.

Julian was head over heels for me and I would say he praised the earth I walked if he didn't carry me at any given opportunity. I just stopped fighting it.

Asra finally stopped staring daggers at him and acting generally like a bitch around him. Mostly at least. But if so, it was _ kind of _ affectionate, so I turned a blind eye to it.

Plus, Nadia and Portia _ at fucking last! _ got bored of teasing us about our marriage. And when I say 'at last', I mean only after we got married for real.

Yes, Julian proposed to me again, and he did it way, _ way _ too soon. But we were sober (!), and it was so absurdly beautiful and romantic, and I was (am) so crazy in love with him that I couldn't say no. So, I said yes. And I remember it perfectly and will never forget it.

And now I can wear both my engagement rings!

*** 

"Are you happy?" I asked Julian, my _ husband _, squeezing his hand in mine, as a boy, carrying our luggage, led us down the hall to our room.

To the very same room in the very same hotel where it all started. Even the same receptionist received us. He remembered us and was thrilled to see us again. 

_ My _ husband gasped, his hand shot to his cheek. "Oh god, _ yes _! Why? Does it show?"

I chuckled. "Yes, you twit!" I bumped his shoulder with mine.

He wrapped an arm around me, pulling me flush to his side, and pressed a kiss to my hair. "Are you happy, my love?"

"Yes, I am."

"Excited?"

"For a second wedding night?" I snorted. "Absolutely. Maybe I'll even remember this one."

Julian barked out a laughter, then kissed me again. He just couldn't stop, it seemed. I allowed it. "I promise you, darling," he murmured secretly, his hot breath and lips brushing against my ear. "you won't forget this night."

I looked up and met his amorously hooded eyes, the quirk of his brow, the infuriating smirk – this did promise a long, loud, wet, exhausting night, and tomorrow, an aching body. And another round probably. 

I groaned quietly and bit my lip. I couldn’t wait, and his smile made me sure he knew. Oh, he knew very well. 

The boy led us inside to our room and set our luggage by the sofa. He bowed elegantly, Julian thanked him in this damned, local language, that caused us so much trouble, and tipped him. The moment the door shut behind him, Julian swept me up into his arms and kissed me like a man starving. I wrapped my arms and legs around him, holding him tight, kissing him back, devouring his mouth, grunting loudly, shamelessly, impatiently. I just wanted to fuck him already. I pushed my tongue into his open mouth and slid it over his palate. He moaned decadently, curled a fist in my hair and pulled, and I bit his lips for it. In turn, he grabbed a greedy handful of my ass and walked to the bedroom. While he elbowed the door open, I moved to his neck and already started to bite and suck, leaving stark love bites, just because I fucking could.

Julian growled, making my cunt clench with want. He stumbled inside.

And tensed.

“Oh for fuck's sake…!" he groaned angrily. 

"What?" I gasped, afraid I did something wrong. But Julian kept staring at something behind my back with such disbelief and annoyance, I looked over my shoulder. "Oh come on!" I exclaimed.

There were two beds. 

Julian put me down and turned back with a heavy sigh. "The fucker thinks it's funny, the joker, bloody, fucking hell. He does it on purpose, unbelievable, what a…" he muttered under his breath as he headed back to the reception.

Meanwhile, I connected the dots. I gasped. "Ohh, he _ does _ do it on purpose!" I announced to the empty room. "Damn, we should have invited him to the wedding..."

I turned and ran out of the room. I hoped I would make it to the reception before _ my husband _ scolded our matchmaker, gods bless him.

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me on tumblr [santamalgastadora](https://santamalgastadora.tumblr.com/)


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